Would you report them?

**professor~yaffle**

Calm down, ladies. I should have added that I am NOT advocating that people fiddle the system!

But back to the original question, I answered honestly. I was in a somewhat similar situation to the OP's friend and no I wouldn't have shopped him. In reality I don't think many people would grass on someone, much as they like to say anonymously on an internet forum that they would

In the event he was found out anyway, not sure how, maybe someone reported him or saw something suspicious going on. And nothing happened anyway, as there was no proof.

redmel1621

DigForVictory wrote: »

I've seen Penalties calculations & they are not at all pretty. The longer, the higher the odds of criminal conviction & possible jail - better to shop fast as a long term kindness.

The sort that puts a truck through family relations for decades, but is still the right thing.

I'm not sure whether to tell her that or not?

What do you think if it has been going on for about 2yrs? I don't really want to influence her decision too much as it is her decision imo. In some ways I think I might have done it anonymously if I knew any details about them... I think, but don't know, that she is hoping they will just get caught out. It doesn't seem like they are going to stop and from what they were saying to her would probably just lie to her and say they have stopped to get her off their back.

I suppose instead of wishing she had never found out it would have been better if she found out a year or more ago.

She has just been messaging me saying thanks for listening etc.. and that she still hasn't decided what to do:(

Mel x

**professor~yaffle**

redmel1621 wrote: »

It is very hard isn't it:( It one of her parents that is doing it (they are separated)

I don't think that they are actually boasting about it or living a life of luxury but.they aren't really short of money they never seem to have much as it all goes on cigarettes/alcohol/eating out blah blah.. Well according to my friend. I barely know her parents have only ever seen them once or twice at 'parties'

She is annoyed that she is in the situation and said she wishes she never found out.

I completely agree with all the above comments about it being wrong etc as that is kind of what I was saying to her, I think if she was confident they would just be told to repay then she would do it, but she was just saying she could never forgive herself if they got into serious trouble because of her. Especially because it hasbeen going on for quite some time, well she isn't sure exactly but she has worked it out to about 2yrs-ish.

I'm glad I'm not in her shoes!

Thanks for your thoughts

Mel x

No, I would definitely not shop a parent, though I might warn them that someone else might.. She is not responsible for what her parents do.

In my case it wasn't a parent, just a whiffy old uncle I occasionally see. Who'd want to live with him I don't know! The state of the place I think the lodger should have got danger money :rotfl:

scooby088

I have grassed and would do it again, I was grassed by a family member infact my sister, I was investigated and they found nothing, it was a malicious thing for my sister to do but she'll get hers sooner or later.

redmel1621

scooby088 wrote: »

I have grassed and would do it again, I was grassed by a family member infact my sister, I was investigated and they found nothing, it was a malicious thing for my sister to do but she'll get hers sooner or later.

Do they tell you who has reported you? I thought it was all supposed to be anonymous!!

**professor~yaffle**

scooby088 wrote: »

I have grassed and would do it again, I was grassed by a family member infact my sister, I was investigated and they found nothing, it was a malicious thing for my sister to do but she'll get hers sooner or later.

..and therein lies the problem. Many (most?) people grassing on someone are doing it for other reasons. They don't like that person or they're making something up in order to get at them. Errant absent parent making erroneous claims to Social Services about the ex-partner, and so on.

fluffymuffy

paulwellerfan wrote: »

i wouldnt report i would just think KARMA....

I would report it and just think KARMA...

Heffi1

https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

DigForVictory

Let's have clarity on what HMRC offer:
they want:
"the name and address of the person you’re reporting and their partner, if they have one
a description of the person
the type of benefit theft you think they are committing and why you suspect them
information about their employer, if you think they’re working
information about their vehicle, if they have one

The information you provide is strictly confidential.

You don’t have to give your name unless you want to."

So, you don't need to give your name.
That said, who else knows or might guess, And Tell?

littlerat

If it was somebody I cared about salvaging a relationship with, or who could/would otherwise make my life hell, then no - the reality is that often people do work out who it is, despite all the supposed anonymity.

Someone else, fine.

Does annoy me though, plenty of people manage on what they're allowed, seems unfair that a few have to try and get more.