A Singularly Lonely Christmas

Seakay

This is the link for the SkintFoodie blog page which allat mentioned:

http://www.theskintfoodie.com/1/post/2012/12/a-skint-foodie-christmas-day-cooking-for-one-or-two.html

it's an interesting blog by someone who had to learn to cope alone after various personal and financial disasters, and who has found out how to indulge their taste for good food and drink now that they have very little money.

My stepfather booked a holiday to Italy over Christmas one year when he was on his own; it was a cheap package holiday which meant that he had a timetable to work around and didn't have to do lots of organising and planning, but it gave him the freedom to eat with the party & join in with trips he was interested in, but also meant that he could go off and do his own thing if he wanted to see something which wasn't on the schedule

red_devil

I second the reading books and also getting some magazines in. I sometimes buy a few at christmas. The days will fly by.

Byatt

Thanks Seakay for the foodie link, will look at it later tonight with pleasure!

Lovely to hear of your stepdad's trip, I saw a bargain 3 day trip to Venice for the holidays, can't go this year as I'm working over Xmas, but I thought what a fab idea, my dream holiday is Italy.

mrsdee

I love the many suggestions on here.

One thing I love to do at some point around Christmas/New Year is to go swimming so I can get out of the house and just swim up and down for a few lengths to make myself feel like I've done something physical!

Also lots of walks. We have a dog and wonder do you have any neighbours who have dogs who may be glad of someone to walk them? Especially if neighbours are ill over Christmas/elderly and need someone to do that for them. It's a great way of meeting other dogowners/walkers and getting out and about with a sense of purpose.

I'd definitely be stocking up on some lovely treats food and wine-wise to have at home and plenty of books, DVDs and music from the local library.

If you are near a town, a visit to a museum/art gallery is always interesting - be a "tourist" in your own city. And go to the cinema - I love going on my own and smuggle my own sweets and munchies in!

Have a wonderful Christmas and look after yourself. xx

Nada666

LavenderBees wrote: »

For reasons too depressing to go into here, I find myself this Christmas with no family, no partner, and my few very good friends too far away, to spend Christmas with. [...]

What about the other 50 weeks in the year? The other 364 days? Be thankful you actually have friends you will be able to see at other times. At least you are not estranged from living parents. You have access to a community, to a charity.

Many people live in total isolation 365 days every year. Why does Christmas matter to you?

the_cat

Nada666 wrote: »

What about the other 50 weeks in the year? The other 364 days? Be thankful you actually have friends you will be able to see at other times. At least you are not estranged from living parents. You have access to a community, to a charity.

Many people live in total isolation 365 days every year. Why does Christmas matter to you?

Blimey, just when I was thinking what a lovely, helpful and warm thread this was:mad:
It's not a 'who can be the most miserable' competition. It's a place for helpful and supportive suggestions. Which could easily be used at ANY time of the year.
Simply put, many people don't notice in the throws of normal everyday life the loneliness they endure. Enforced time off polarises the issue.
As Thumper rabbit used to say, if you can't say something nice .........don't say nothin' at all.

lostinrates

Nada666 wrote: »

What about the other 50 weeks in the year? The other 364 days? Be thankful you actually have friends you will be able to see at other times. At least you are not estranged from living parents. You have access to a community, to a charity.

Many people live in total isolation 365 days every year. Why does Christmas matter to you?

While, in my opinion, Counting your blessings is a very useful thing, comparison,...for the better or worse, is always a hiding to nowhere IMO.


Lavender bees, I hope you have a good Christmas Day.

I volunteered as a very young woman, for personal reasons. I was not in a situation of need, but rather high dudgeon really, and was lucky enough to have the choice. Volunteering a Christmas Day with the homeless, where frankly a lot of those volunteering has less than I did let alone the else we were helping, was a wonderful, wonderful experience, though I admit I found the day hard emotionally too. It stands out still as one of the 'best' Christmases I have ever had, one of the most important. I warn you, your stint volunteering might be difficult at times but I hopes it is as helpful to you as it was to me.

LameWolf

the_cat wrote: »

Simply put, many people don't notice in the throws of normal everyday life the loneliness they endure. Enforced time off polarises the issue.

Absolutely right; I don't actually celebrate Xmas, and always found the compulsory two days' Bank Holidays unutterably dull, til I became a host for a dog-sitting service. Some of the hosts are not available for Xmas because they're busy doing family things, so the service are grateful to hosts like me who literally beg to have a canine guest for the period.:o I have a "sprocker" spaniel coming to me this year.:T(that's a cross between a springer and a cocker).;)

LavenderBees

Dear All

I've finally arrived back home to internet access (! :mad:), and I just wanted to quickly thank each of you for the kindness and generosity and just downright POSITIVENESS of your thoughts and comments.

I managed to read some of them in the office I was working in yesterday, and I'm not ashamed to say that I was moved to tears at the thought that has gone into the posts in response to my plea for help.

Tonight, I have read the rather less positive comment, and, whilst I feel it could have been worded more kindly, and in the spirit of helpfulness of the rest of the thread contributors, this is actually a good point here, and it shouldn't be lost. Loneliness isn't about one day or two weeks, it can be an ongoing awful ache day after day after day.

This was never meant to be a thread about competition of who feels the most cr8p. I never said I wasn't lonely 365 days a year, simply that the loss of those I love, the loss of friendships, the loss of hope even, is heightened unbearably at this time of year.

Personally, I have felt very alone dealing with so many illnesses and problems and family feuds and....oh, too many things to mention, this year, and I have only very recently had even a tiny bit of time to lift my head from it all, and realise just how isolated I had become.

Being generally a friendly, positive person, I am determined not to wallow, and hence asked for help on how to effectively restart parts of my life.

My lovely virtual friends!! I salute you!!

You have delivered that help in spades. Not just to me, but I'm guessing to many others who find themselves isolated and lonely for many many different reasons, and who want to try to change that.

Even just the fact that we are all positively discussing possible antidotes to loneliness (surely one of the last taboo subjects) is just so....well, bloomin positive :rotfl:

I will spend the weekend reading all your suggestions very thoroughly and will be devising a plan, not just to get through the Christmas intact as I had hoped....NO! I will bloomin enjoy it! Or at the very least, aim to be content, whilst acknowledging and learning to live with my grief.

And I will be using so many of these suggestions in the coming year too to get my life back on track.

So, thank you again for all your positive messages. I really am overwhelmed by all of your thoughtfulness.

LB xx

Byatt

LavenderBees wrote: »

You have delivered that help in spades. Not just to me, but I'm guessing to many others who find themselves isolated and lonely for many many different reasons, and who want to try to change that.

Even just the fact that we are all positively discussing possible antidotes to loneliness (surely one of the last taboo subjects) is just so....well, bloomin positive :rotfl:


LB xx

Totally agree, there are so many options, which have helped me consider my situation and what suits me and fits in. I am also aware I must make the effort and use my car for pleasure, not just for business. I have got into the mindset that I can't go to places because of the cost, which of course is always a factor, but very restrciting. Even if I go out just once a month in 2014 it will be 12 times more than I did this year! :rotfl:

Fab link to the frugal foodie blog, can't wait to try some of the recipes.