A Singularly Lonely Christmas

LavenderBees

Hi All

At the risk of bringing the Christmas preparation mood down, I could do with some good, constructive OS advice, please.

For reasons too depressing to go into here, I find myself this Christmas with no family, no partner, and my few very good friends too far away, to spend Christmas with. In fact, having lost both my parents this year, and having been left unexpectedly and very sadly unsupported all year by siblings and "friends", I feel I pretty much have no one.

This isn't the first time I will spend Christmas Day alone. However, it is the first time I expect no presents, no phone calls, no company at all over the festive period. Looking forward with some trepidation, I can see that if I'm not careful, after I leave work on the 20th Dec, I could pretty much speak to no one until I go back on 2nd Jan. Well, you can imagine, I'm sure, how depressing that would be, and I'm a pretty positive person on the whole. After one of the worst years of my life, I want and very much need, to make the best I can of the time off work. Albeit, I need to watch the pennies a bit.

Now, I've read many threads on this forum, yet strangely there doesn't seem to be any mention of the heart rending loneliness that this time of year inflicts on many people (and not just those alone...I'm well aware that you can be with people and still feel very alone). Honestly, if I see another "happy families" advert on TV, you will all hear me bashing my TV screen in :rotfl:, and if I hear more colleagues discussing how awful it is that they are cooking for 12...well, I'd be amazed if I still had a job :rotfl:

So, my lovely virtual friends, here's the thing - I have Christmas Day itself covered as I have volunteered to help out for a homeless charity. But what other OS activities could there be out there that would help get me through almost 2 weeks of so-called festivity?

I'm hoping for activities that a) will make it worth getting out of bed, b) help me mix with people so I don't feel so alone and c) maybe make me feel of use and value at a time when my self esteem is at rock bottom.

trolleyrun

I'm sorry you've had a horrid year. I do admire your resilience though - well done for that

Going for walks is free and healthy. Many people will be going for walks, depending on the weather, so a possibility for a little chat.

Can you do more than one day volunteering? Is there perhaps an old people's home you could pop into - many elderly people do not get visitors often and will appreciate any visitors.

Other than that, I can't think of much, sorry. My excuse is that I've got a hangover... Will you call your friends during the Christmas period?
Are there any free museums, gardens or similar you could go to?

I'm sure others on here will come up with more ideas.
And remember, you'll have us here

kippers

Hi what a sad post, I really feel for you. I think you are marvelous for volunteering though...you should be proud of yourself for turning a negative into a positive. Would you like to do more voluntary work over the christmas period?....if so try 'caring at Christmas': http://www.caringatchristmas.org.uk/volunteer.html

NoGoodNamesLeft

How about an animal shelter? The other volunteers will be glad of the help and the animals won't know or care what time of year it is. I find that however bad I feel, a hug from a dog or cat can always cheer me up!

strandedinaber

I'm so sorry to hear about your hard year I agree that volunteering would definitely be a good idea, and it might be something that you wish to continue into the year as well, if you have time. Also, if you phone AgeUK, they are doing some work right now for elderly people who don't have families to go to at Christmas. Maybe you could offer to go and see someone, or invite someone over?

Dolly_Mixture

Hi, sorry to hear you will be on your own this Christmas. Particularly after such a difficult year. I think volunteering on Christmas day is a great idea - can you see if there are any other volunteering opportunities in your area over the whole period. A charity shop or the local hospital may welcome volunteers and keep you busy at a time when you do not want to be sitting at home.

Going for walks, going to the library are other cheap things that can get you out of the house. Going to church at this time of year can be nice too even if you are not religious and you may find they need help at Christmas too.

Hope you get something sorted. Hugs

Dolly

LavenderBees

Thanks so much for the comments and suggestions so far. Please keep them coming :T.

I have decided to visit a local Care Home on Christmas Eve, and will take a few wee pressies and pot plants.

I'm thinking if I can have a few days with company and a few days resting and pottering on my own, that will be the best of both worlds for me. I have two lovely pusscats, and one is very nervous so I daren't bring the scent of other animals back with me. Nice suggestion though. Maybe that will help anyone else in a similar position.

It's strange isn't it? None of this is rocket science, yet I've been unable to see the wood for the trees in my panic.

I haven't had any time to visit art galleries or museums for so long now, so I have added these to my list for between Christmas and New Year. My problem with these is that I'll no doubt be surrounded by happy families and that tends to make me feel lonelier, but, hey! Maybe it's time to broaden those shoulders!!

LavenderBees

Going for walks....yes, I haven't managed to get to my lovely local beautiful beach at all this year. May be a good one for wrapping up one bright day. I'd pretty much forgotten that fresh air and exercise can make you feel better, and there's bound to be a daft waggy tailed dog on the beach to laugh at

Willowpop

There may be school Xmas fayres / community hall xmas fayres that could do with an extra volunteer over the next few weeks. I am organising the xmas fayre at my daughter's school and we have been desperate for volunteers! We got some through our council - they have a volunteer bank..maybe contact your council to see if yours have a pool of volunteers. The kind of events listed won't be on xmas day, but will be in the run up to xmas, so may keep you busy then.
Also, stallfinder.co.uk lets you see some local events that need stall holders, perhaps contacting the organisers of these may result in a few jobs for their event.

LavenderBees

Dolly_Mixture wrote: »

Going to church at this time of year can be nice too even if you are not religious and you may find they need help at Christmas

Thank you for your hugs, very gratefully received

Last year, I went to the carol concert...lovely service, very lovely people, but I felt such a fraud as I'm not religious and I was in grave danger of being roped in to lots of church things as no one believed me when I said I wasn't religious . I need the community atmosphere and generosity of the church but without the religion (hope I haven't offended anyone). So any suggestions along these lines will be much appreciated.

whitewing

I love your user name.

If I am going through a time when I could get emotional, I try to have 1 day planned with an activity and the following day without and the next planned and the next without. Over-scheduling brings me down quicker than anything. It's also good to have some time when you can be spontaneous.

I also have a list of things I want to do at some point (to remind me as memory is the first to go when I'm stressed). Then I can go there if I feel like it.

Between Christmas and the New Year, I really love to spend a day or two decluttering or cleaning out the kitchen. It's almost an out with the old year and in with new promises, making space in my house and my mind for new possibilities.

We always burn a candle on Christmas eve to salute those family and friends who are no longer on this earth.

I like to pop into MSE over Christmastime too. There are generally some newbies in especial need of a dose of TLC as they grapple with a shock or a flickering lightbulb moment.