A Singularly Lonely Christmas

THIRZAH

If you do like walking check the Ramblers website- https://www.ramblers.org uk- to see if there are any walks arranged near you.You can go on a couple of walks before you are expected to join.

I know that our local group in the Peak District has some walks arranged over the Christmas period so it would be worth checking if there are any near you.

monnagran

Dear LavenderBees, please do not imagine that all those families you see preparing for Christmas are happy. This is the most stressful time of the year even if you are happy, and if you're not.............!

Many people who are part of the 'happy family' set-up would give their eye-teeth to have the choices about how to spend the holiday season that you have had suggested here.

I suppose that we all want what don't have and we all imagine that everyone else is having a special, fuzzy-warm and loving get together with family and friends.

It ain't necessarily so.

You'll be fine.

x

Hollyberry

What a lovely but sad post, and I think most of the suggestions I might have made have been covered already, like volunteering, doing big household jobs and pacing yourself. The other one I would add is thinking about getting the stocks in for a good old fashioned batch cooking session, so you could start the New Year ahead of the game and with lots of good things in the pantry or freezer.

I'd like to send you a big hug, OP. I have travelled a similar path this year (Mum died, MIL seriously ill), and to be frank 2014 can't come quickly enough in some ways. One of the things that I resolved to do this Christmas was to make some new traditions - honouring the past but looking to the future. Sounds daft, but I have put Christmas decorations up for the first time in many years, and Christmas day lunch will be very non-traditional. Perhaps there are some things that truly gladden your heart, no matter how daft they might seem to someone else, and that you should add to your busy list. And I'm absolutely sure that it will be bustling in here over the holidays, so there will definitely be company around.

LavenderBees

Hollyberry wrote: »

What a lovely but sad post, and I think most of the suggestions I might have made have been covered already, like volunteering, doing big household jobs and pacing yourself. The other one I would add is thinking about getting the stocks in for a good old fashioned batch cooking session, so you could start the New Year ahead of the game and with lots of good things in the pantry or freezer.

I'd like to send you a big hug, OP. I have travelled a similar path this year (Mum died, MIL seriously ill), and to be frank 2014 can't come quickly enough in some ways. One of the things that I resolved to do this Christmas was to make some new traditions - honouring the past but looking to the future. Sounds daft, but I have put Christmas decorations up for the first time in many years, and Christmas day lunch will be very non-traditional. Perhaps there are some things that truly gladden your heart, no matter how daft they might seem to someone else, and that you should add to your busy list. And I'm absolutely sure that it will be bustling in here over the holidays, so there will definitely be company around.

Oh, Sweetie! a big hug back to you, too :grouphug:

I was planning to give the house a good going over this coming weekend, and, whilst I don't have the funds or, let's face it, the oomph for a Christmas tree, I will entwine fairy lights on my curtain poles, and have candles around for lighting. I'm also lucky in that I have a wood burner, so it's easy to create a cosy living room. Team that with a seasonal drink or two... :beer:, and ....hic.... everything will be jusht fine....I'm shure...:rotfl:

I also love pottering in the kitchen with a nice glass of wine so creating some nice freezer meals sounds just the job.

Hollyberry

LavenderBees wrote: »

Oh, Sweetie! a big hug back to you, too :grouphug:

I was planning to give the house a good going over this coming weekend, and, whilst I don't have the funds or, let's face it, the oomph for a Christmas tree, I will entwine fairy lights on my curtain poles, and have candles around for lighting. I'm also lucky in that I have a wood burner, so it's easy to create a cosy living room. Team that with a seasonal drink or two... :beer:, and ....hic.... everything will be jusht fine....I'm shure...:rotfl:

I also love pottering in the kitchen with a nice glass of wine so creating some nice freezer meals sounds just the job.

Mulled wine...wood burner...fairy lights...it's sounding good to me. Much as I mutter a bit to myself on a frosty morning when I empty the ash bucket (and the wind blows some of it back over me), I wouldn't voluntarily give up my open fire.

bluebag

monnagran wrote: »

Dear LavenderBees, please do not imagine that all those families you see preparing for Christmas are happy. This is the most stressful time of the year even if you are happy, and if you're not.............!

Many people who are part of the 'happy family' set-up would give their eye-teeth to have the choices about how to spend the holiday season that you have had suggested here.

I suppose that we all want what don't have and we all imagine that everyone else is having a special, fuzzy-warm and loving get together with family and friends.

It ain't necessarily so.

You'll be fine.

x

Second that!! Not now as we spend our Christmas with just the few of us, but years ago we had to do the big family thing and it was just vile. Made me really unhappy.

When you only have yourself to please, you can please yourself.

savingqueen

((((((((((((Lavenderbees))))))))))) sounds like you need a big hug.

As monnagran put it so well, lots of people seem happy on the surface but many are not. TV adverts are not representative of real life, switch em off. They really get on my nerves at times too!

Most of the suggestions I would have made about doing jobs, volunteering, going for walks, popping on OS/MSE threads over Xmas etc have been covered but here are a couple more.

Make a list of nice things you can do as well as the niggly jobs. So if for example you clear out that cupboard then balance it with a treat after. Soak in a bubble bath with candles, read a good book with a nice drink and cake/nibbles or whatever. You could make yourself a timetable of activities if that helps. Aim to have some time for just you to recharge your batteries after a very difficult year.

Your idea to visit some places you haven't had time to is great and glad to hear you have an invite for New Year's Eve. I also find going to my local shops rather than the big supermarkets is a much more friendly experience and have had nicer or more interesting conversations with strangers than people I already know at times.

Another thing is to make some plans for the new year, resolutions, places to go, new recipes, plans for the garden or decorating or whatever you like doing or would like to try. Christmas is just a few days and will soon be over... 2014 is a whole year long.

If you are volunteering you might make some new friends and could suggest meeting up for a coffee and chat over the break. Chances are some of the volunteers are there for similar reasons to yourself and would love an invite to do something. If you visiting a place of interest, maybe mention casually that anyone interested is welcome to join you?

sq

Spirit_2

LavenderBees wrote: »

I need the community atmosphere and generosity of the church but without the religion (hope I haven't offended anyone). So any suggestions along these lines will be much appreciated.

Our local Anglican church needs the support of the secular community as well as believers to survive.

I am a non practising RC. I participate in some church activities as part of being in the community. On 22nd December I will go to 9 lessons and carols, enjoy it and take along a couple of dozen HM mince pies to share afterwards.

On Christmas day I will go to church, the service will give me time to reflect on what it all means and think of absent and lost loved ones. I will see my neighbours and fellow villagers and eat someone elses HM mince pies afterwards.:)

-taff

Have a look for charities who go carol singing...they may need an extra.

I would also start cultivating a larger friend base....have a look what courses run locally, join a coffee morning, learn a craft etc....

ERICS_MUM

I blame the TV ads. I'm single, no children but do have siblings and their families and my Mum who will be 90 by Christmas. I hate all the arrangements - who is going where, when, what food, what presents etc etc. I'm happy to go to family for an hour or two but that's enough, I can't cope with all the jolliness. Miserable moo.

Still, at least I've got options. I'm a contrary moo as well !

I seem to remember last Christmas Day it was quite busy on here after tea time, when people had had enough of family togetherness.