A Singularly Lonely Christmas

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

That's our problem...we are far flung from our friends who might appreciate it.....out in the sticks. Not far from trains, but not in a state to host people overnight so it would mean car hire or hotel stop overs.

This Christmas just us has been a blessing I cannot describe. They re rare and precious days we get alone together. But sharing company is also important.

I think when we are able to host we will hash out a happy medium, because its 'fitting'.. So long as we still get some time alone together!

I think you "just" need to think how you divide up your available time to get what you need from it - alone time and company time...

I was just thinking though that there are some people from whom I'd really welcome an open door policy invite and others where I'd feel uncomfortable/kind of stuck on the edge of their Xmas rather than feeling like I belong, and there's nothing worse than not feeling right, so I guess I'd have to caveat my response with it could be a great idea ...it depends...

:rotfl: No pleasing me...

jpscloud

LavenderBees wrote: »

Out of my price range at the moment, though. But worth having a look to get ideas.

x

Yes out of my price range too, and may never be in it to be realistic, but I can dream I don't have much in the way of pension, and only 16 years left to earn one (and on my pay, not likely) but all being well I do stand to inherit a modest amount. I don't want to think of that though... can't imagine life without those people.

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

Funny stories.....

Hmm...will today do?


We've just been out trying to 'sow' mistletoe seeds in a lime tree. This involved DH sitting up in the goblet of one of our pollarded limes.


Its surprising ly busy on our rural road today and we were surprised so many people were out. Most locals are used to DH and I looking a little odd about the place I suppose, but today a couple and their children pulled over because the children thought we were elves.

The bases for this is that usually men doesn't sit up trees in orange jumpers, and women don't wear elf suits play with small white dogs dressed in jumpers '. (I am actually wearing a very warm purple jumper and red fleece pj bottoms. .....not stylish but very warm and washable, essential in gardening clothes I find). Its quite nice to be mistaken for an elf. The dog was in his jumper to leave some mud in it rather than him.....its more washable than he is.


The geese wouldn't talk to use this morning, we think they scent our betrayal on our breaths, but yesterday's roast goose was yummy. Our boys are safe though, and we are contemplating getting them a young wife each, but if they are going to be rude I'm not sure I'll bother, after all, it will make life very awkward having two boys with girls about.....pffft.


Hope today is brighter lavenderbees . Fwiw, remember its a bleak day for many with families too, its never lonelier than when you are with people and realising perhaps you don't want to be with those people, .

:rotfl:

I think this qualifies :rotfl:. Would have loved to have seen you myself :T

Dozey_crow

A.Penny.Saved wrote: »

Why is everyone making such a fuss about being alone at Christmas? I find most people hypocritical celebrating Christmas when they never go to Church except for funerals, weddings etc. There are hundreds of thousands of people who are alone at Christmas, do we open threads for every one of them? Millions of elderly alone who are doing no better than the OP. Homeless people and people who have been forced to vacate their homes due to flooding. Count yourself lucky, it could be much much worse!

I have not seen or heard from anyone since I phoned my brother on Christmas eve. I have eaten no Turkey or Christmas dinner, no nuts, pies or anything else. Christmas day was like any other except there was no where open! I won't give a sob story because no one wants depressing but I don't open a thread saying woe, woe I'm all alone at Christmas. I suppose I should change my name to ebenezer. Bah, humbug! lol

OP I hope that you found something which made your life meaningful and fulfilled. Christmas is far too materialistic anyway, people hoping that the latest tech gadgets are going to make them happy, for 5 minutes. Happiness is about appreciating what you have, health, a place to live, food to eat and family/friends and not yearning for what you don't have!

Regardless of religion Christmas is associated with being a family time, when extended and close family get to spend quality time together. Whilst many families don't manage to achieve the idealistic image of the media portrayal of Christmas it is said to be a family time. So religion aside if people don't have close family or family of any type or if they have lost people special to them then they are going to feel lonelier at this time of year.

I agree with your observation that people are alone and in desperate circumstances throughout the year and that this should be recognized and addressed.

For me LBs thread has ààà a socially taboo issue. I have a friend in her 60's who is retired and has no family at all (parents both died in teensàs and only sibling 15 years ago). She dreads Christmas because her friends typically spend it with their families she accepts and understands this but finds it hard to be left behind all of the time. So she is reliant on waiting to see what people are doing, which is always hard.

This year she is very depressed because she had made plans with different friends for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. However in the two weeks before Christmas this all changed as each friend changed their plans in favor of family activities. Although she understands this entirely she was hurt and upset because it made her feel very very alone and unwanted. Much as I wanted to help her I couldn't because we were also going to someone's else's house for Christmas and I wasn't able to ask for additional guests. if I host next year it will be different.

It seems that this thread has attracted people who feel like this. Fortunately my DH and I are lucky enough to have family (even if they can be very irritating at times :rotfl:). However the way my friend is this year had opened my eyes to this. She says she even dreads all of the Christmas conversations because she feels she had to explain her situation. It must be awful.


So there's you go LB had not only drawn attention to this but also she has inspired people to think of ways to overcome some of the problems and find ways to survive or even enjoy Christmas.

That said I appreciate that you are also struggling but it may be with remembering that everyone deals differently with things...I wish you well.

boddy wrote: »

Hello everyone.

This thread is certainly not a woe is me thread. The fact that positivity, reflection, new friendships and support have come out of it. Also some sadness but its good that people feel they can share on here.

This time of year means different things to different people whatever religion or no religion. For me it's a time for friends and family but also time alone for reflection. Thinking about my mum who loved Xmas. Sometimes about what I might like to achive the coming year. I have lived alone a long time but can remember when I first did and how it felt.

Funny things LB? Well we had just finished lunch yesterday and we realised we had no stuffing. Last year I left the Yorkshire puddings in the oven. Then today we realised we had not done the roast parsnips.

Been to daughters ex in laws today to watch great grandchildren open their presents and have a buffet. Home now and pjs on.

Nicely put!!!! Your day sounds lovely. I am hoping to put my PJs on soon... I love wearing them!!!

chirpycheap wrote: »

Christmas means different things to everyone, a celebration of Jesus birth, a midwinter festival, a traditional celebration that can be enjoyed regardless of religious beliefs and yes it has become for some all about over consumption.

However for me this thread is all about the important aspects of Christmas. It is about community and reaching out to others. The OP s anything but 'woe is me' and has in fact inspired others to share their experiences and think about how to make a positive contribution to others.

The thread I am sure has provided comfort to others and that act of thinking about other people is surely exactly what Christmas should be about. Of course we should all count our blessings but in the spirit of Christmas we can also take time to think compassionately about others rather than sitting in judgement.:A

Yes I agree with all of these sentiments! Again very nicely worded!

Right then back to Grandma's oversized, bright fuschia blouse and top.... Lavender Bees I can't get a photo.... Here's why. We had said relative who bought my Victorian esk late 80's petite Grandma this delightful pressie round top ours for tea tonight. Half way through the evening I get a call from Grandma about a small problem. I am trying to conceal the true purpose of the call from relative and desperately turning the volume down on the phone as Grandma launches into a step by step description of precisely why the outfit isn't suitable.... Trying to keep my face straight as she said ' the top is a size 18 my dear and I only have 8\10 and the skirt stops at my thighs I'm afraid it really isn't suitable' was very difficult!!

Bless her though it was very sweet as she didn't wasn't too upset relative by letting her know it was unsuitable but would it be acceptable for her to put it in the charity bag?:rotfl::rotfl: oh dear.

Take care everyone xxx

LavenderBees

boddy wrote: »

Hello everyone.

This thread is certainly not a woe is me thread. The fact that positivity, reflection, new friendships and support have come out of it. Also some sadness but its good that people feel they can share on here.

This time of year means different things to different people whatever religion or no religion. For me it's a time for friends and family but also time alone for reflection. Thinking about my mum who loved Xmas. Sometimes about what I might like to achive the coming year. I have lived alone a long time but can remember when I first did and how it felt.

Personally, I have loved how this thread has developed - so supportive and thoughtful. Full of ideas for helping each other. Full of much needed friendship, whether virtual or real life.

It's really made me think about what I want from life as I move forward, and how do I go about getting it. Am still thinking...I'm a slow thinker...;)

xx

lostinrates

LavenderBees wrote: »

:rotfl:

I think this qualifies :rotfl:. Would have loved to have seen you myself :T

You have a picture by pm of elf the greater in his tree.

LavenderBees

Dozey_crow wrote: »

Regardless of religion Christmas is associated with being a family time, when extended and close family get to spend quality time together. Whilst many families don't manage to achieve the idealistic image of the media portrayal of Christmas it is said to be a family time. So religion aside if people don't have close family or family of any type or if they have lost people special to them then they are going to feel lonelier at this time of year.

I agree with your observation that people are alone and in desperate circumstances throughout the year and that this should be recognized and addressed.

For me LBs thread has ààà a socially taboo issue. I have a friend in her 60's who is retired and has no family at all (parents both died in teensàs and only sibling 15 years ago). She dreads Christmas because her friends typically spend it with their families she accepts and understands this but finds it hard to be left behind all of the time. So she is reliant on waiting to see what people are doing, which is always hard.

This year she is very depressed because she had made plans with different friends for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. However in the two weeks before Christmas this all changed as each friend changed their plans in favor of family activities. Although she understands this entirely she was hurt and upset because it made her feel very very alone and unwanted. Much as I wanted to help her I couldn't because we were also going to someone's else's house for Christmas and I wasn't able to ask for additional guests. if I host next year it will be different.

It seems that this thread has attracted people who feel like this. Fortunately my DH and I are lucky enough to have family (even if they can be very irritating at times :rotfl:). However the way my friend is this year had opened my eyes to this. She says she even dreads all of the Christmas conversations because she feels she had to explain her situation. It must be awful.


So there's you go LB had not only drawn attention to this but also she has inspired people to think of ways to overcome some of the problems and find ways to survive or even enjoy Christmas.

That said I appreciate that you are also struggling but it may be with remembering that everyone deals differently with things...I wish you well.

xxx

Oh! How I feel for your friend. I know exactly how she feels.

I hope she has come through the period ok......

I don't honestly understand this "christmas is for families" business myself, are friends not also part of your family? Often friends are closer than your family, so why would a friend be second-rate at Christmas time?

Having been on the receiving end of this so many times myself, I know how hurtful it is. I try to be understanding, but my sensitive little heart gets that bit more bruised every time.

I hope your friend is ok. She will be, if she has you looking out for her.

x

LavenderBees

Dozey_crow wrote: »

Right then back to Grandma's oversized, bright fuschia blouse and top.... Lavender Bees I can't get a photo.... Here's why. We had said relative who bought my Victorian esk late 80's petite Grandma this delightful pressie round top ours for tea tonight. Half way through the evening I get a call from Grandma about a small problem. I am trying to conceal the true purpose of the call from relative and desperately turning the volume down on the phone as Grandma launches into a step by step description of precisely why the outfit isn't suitable.... Trying to keep my face straight as she said ' the top is a size 18 my dear and I only have 8\10 and the skirt stops at my thighs I'm afraid it really isn't suitable' was very difficult!!

Bless her though it was very sweet as she didn't wasn't too upset relative by letting her know it was unsuitable but would it be acceptable for her to put it in the charity bag?:rotfl::rotfl: oh dear.

Take care everyone xxx

Bless your Grandma for even trying them :rotfl:

LavenderBees

lostinrates wrote: »

You have a picture by pm of elf the greater in his tree.

He DOES look like an elf :rotfl:

lostinrates

LavenderBees wrote: »

He DOES look like an elf :rotfl:

The day before the annual elf laundry.......:o


Our gardening clothes are rough. So rough we have a bit f a reputation as local eccentrics. A local farmer said to my father...' I thought your daughter were right posh....she's half cracked in that way int she?' '

my father explained I took after my mother in someways. ( they are searated:rotfl:)