Not Legally Married

Georgiegirl256

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Reading this makes me very surprised. I surely can't be that unusual in getting a card from my Dad for example.

If I go to a wedding then they will be sent a card for the first anniversary and for close friends and family they get one every year. Also if I know it's a special one eg 25th then I wouldn't like to forget.

Marriage is to be celebrated in my opinion.

I know my parents have sent silver wedding/gold wedding cards etc but that's the only ones they ever send to anyone. Also alot of people have parties to celebrate those special anniversarys, and that's the only time I'd probably send one.

daisiegg

lostinrates wrote: »

There is a slight socio economic bias to wedding photos out on display. Some people would consider it in poor taste to have many photos out at all.

We have some photos, but none of our wedding. If we had some of our wedding I would not put them 'on display'.

I certainly don't expect any one but DH to remember our wedding anniversary, even I forget it! I have to say I would find it slightly stalker ish at worst and invasive or over familiar at best if people sent us anniversary cards. Its something to do with DH and I ( and whatever spirituality we have) not other people. If people have the thought I'd rather they put the card money in a charity box and got on with their day.

Oh dear, clearly we are terribly lower class (though on paper, anything but!) as we got married in April and have quite a few photos dotted around. I dare say as time goes by they will be put away or replaced with something else but at the moment, they make us happy. Our house is for us, no one else, and in fact we have few visitors most of the time. If seeing these pictures of our happiest day brings genuine joy into every day of our lives, we will go on having them up, even if it is naff. My parents have a wedding photo that lives permanently on top of the piano, and I love it. Visitors to the house don't seem to mind, either; if anything they enjoy exclaiming over the baby faced bride and groom and the questionable eighties hairstyles and meringue dress!

As for others remembering anniversaries, though, I agree with the majority. I suspect we may get one or two cards from our parents and maybe our bridesmaids on our first anniversary, but after that, I would find it slightly strange if anyone else remembered, and even stranger if they got a card. I certainly have never bought anyone an anniversary card unless it was a big one and I had been invited to a celebration.

Gloomendoom

As far as 'class' goes, mine and Mrs G's parents are at opposite ends of the spectrum. We get wedding anniversary cards from both sets of parents.

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

I'd say its definitely unusual to expect anybody except your spouse to remember or mark your anniversary, unless its a big one like 50 or 60 and you have a party.

In your opinion. My father always sends us a card as do others as I them. Have never had a party and we celebrate just the two of us.

January20 wrote: »

Really? It sounds a little OTT to me! I think it should be a date to be remembered and celebrated by the couple concerned, but expecting friends and family to remember is unfair and (sorry) a bit self centred!

And what do you do if/ when your close family and friends forget? sulk? :rotfl::rotfl:

I knew there was somethin wrong one year when a close friend didn't send a card as usual and when I got in touch (not to say where's our card), he was goin through a bad time so it was a sign of a problem.

lostinrates wrote: »

There is a slight socio economic bias to wedding photos out on display. Some people would consider it in poor taste to have many photos out at all.

We have some photos, but none of our wedding. If we had some of our wedding I would not put them 'on display'.

I certainly don't expect any one but DH to remember our wedding anniversary, even I forget it! I have to say I would find it slightly stalker ish at worst and invasive or over familiar at best if people sent us anniversary cards. Its something to do with DH and I ( and whatever spirituality we have) not other people. If people have the thought I'd rather they put the card money in a charity box and got on with their day.

I really did think that it's the norm to have the bride/groom photo framed and on display. I can think of many homes where I've seen one.

jackyann

I'm not sure what the "socio-economic" bias is! I went into many homes as part of my job, and whilst there were a lot of things that indicate class, wedding photos wasn't one I noticed - saw them - or not - in many different homes.
As for birth certificates: you can have the "long" which indicates lots of things or the "short" which doesn't. Having the "short" may indicate something to hide, or maybe convenience / cost.

PS: there is a trend - which I quite like (probably fairly middle class!) to have ancestors' wedding photos on display alongside the couple's own photo - sometimes in one of those multi-frames.

clairec79

Until you need your birth certificate for something then many people don't think to look at them - my children have never asked to see theirs, if they ask they of course can

My great grandfather found out in his 20s that his birthday isn't the same on his birth certificate (his mum lied to get out of a fine) - which I think was when he wanted to get married - up till then he hadn't seen it

GobbledyGook

sweaty_betty wrote: »

But my point is that contrary to a previous poster, who said that a "maiden" name would always be shown, mine wasn't.

Perhaps they are thinking of Scottish birth certificates. A woman's maiden name is always shown on those. As well as the parents date of marriage.

unholyangel

LeeLoo wrote: »

This is what I wanted to say. They may end up having to pay taxes they would not have when inheriting from the surviving 'spouse'.

How often does that happen?

seven-day-weekend

We do not have any photos at all on display, although we have many original paintings, mainly landscapes.

But that is just our personal taste. I don't think it's a reflection of any 'socio-economic group', certainly it isn't in our case.

As for wedding anniversaries, I know when ours is, and I when know when my friend's parents' is (because it's the same date and year as ours ). I don't know anyone else's, not my parents, nor any of my family, nor our friends, not even the year. Same with birthdays although we do know a few more of those than we do anniversaries.

I'm sure if my son and his partner ever marry I shall remember their anniversary.


We're all different.

Flugelhorn

sweaty_betty wrote: »

Me too (although married for much fewer years!)



I've just checked this on my LO's birth certificate (long version and short) (he's 3). There's no "maiden" name on it, just his name, dad's name, my name. No one asked if we were married when we registered him and neither of us bothered changing our names when we were married (before having LO).

I find it really interesting how marking anniversaries (and for that matter, having wedding photos on display, wearing wedding rings etc) are so important to some people, but not for others.

there is no maiden on mine either - just my name.

I was asked if we were married as I went on my own tp register the kids and would have needed a statutory declaration to name the father on the cert in his absence if we weren't married. I did take the marriage cert, just in case they needed it , but they took my word for it.