Not Legally Married

Mojisola

sweaty_betty wrote: »

No one asked if we were married when we registered him and neither of us bothered changing our names when we were married (before having LO).

As you were both in attendance, there wouldn't be any need to ask if you were married. If you had gone on your own, you would have been asked because you can't add an unmarried father's name unless he's filled in the relevant forms in advance.

sweaty_betty

Mojisola wrote: »

As you were both in attendance, there wouldn't be any need to ask if you were married. If you had gone on your own, you would have been asked because you can't add an unmarried father's name unless he's filled in the relevant forms in advance.

But my point is that contrary to a previous poster, who said that a "maiden" name would always be shown, mine wasn't.

TonyMMM

sweaty_betty wrote: »

I've just checked this on my LO's birth certificate (long version and short) (he's 3). There's no "maiden" name on it, just his name, dad's name, my name. No one asked if we were married when we registered him and neither of us bothered changing our names when we were married (before having LO).

Then the registrar didn't do their job properly ... one of mandatory questions that has to be asked when registering a birth is to establish whether the parents are married.

A certificate formatted in that way,with no maiden name shown, would indicate an unmarried couple..... the only other thing to check is who signed as "informant" ? For a married couple it will be either mother OR father, for an unmarried couple it should be both.

Mojisola wrote: »

As you were both in attendance, there wouldn't be any need to ask if you were married.

The question MUST still be asked.

Kynthia

Oh my, there's no way I'm keeping track of other people's wedding anniversaries! Its hard enough remembering all their birthdays. I certainly don't expect other people to mark when I married my husband, that's for us to do.

Person_one

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Thanks but I can't imagine not celebrating with my husband with at least a card and if my close family and friends forget I am not happy!

certainly don't mean to imply that if you don't mark the date you aren't married but it's a new one on me.

I'd say its definitely unusual to expect anybody except your spouse to remember or mark your anniversary, unless its a big one like 50 or 60 and you have a party.

January20

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Thanks but I can't imagine not celebrating with my husband with at least a card and if my close family and friends forget I am not happy!

Really? It sounds a little OTT to me! I think it should be a date to be remembered and celebrated by the couple concerned, but expecting friends and family to remember is unfair and (sorry) a bit self centred!

And what do you do if/ when your close family and friends forget? sulk? :rotfl::rotfl:

lostinrates

Torry_Quine wrote: »

My husband knew when his parents married as did my brother know when our parents married so it definitely isn't a general male thing. Actually my husband's parents had a very small wedding but even they had someone take a couple of pictures.

I can't imagine not at least sending parents a card for their anniversary and most couples have their wedding photo on display.

There is a slight socio economic bias to wedding photos out on display. Some people would consider it in poor taste to have many photos out at all.

We have some photos, but none of our wedding. If we had some of our wedding I would not put them 'on display'.

I certainly don't expect any one but DH to remember our wedding anniversary, even I forget it! I have to say I would find it slightly stalker ish at worst and invasive or over familiar at best if people sent us anniversary cards. Its something to do with DH and I ( and whatever spirituality we have) not other people. If people have the thought I'd rather they put the card money in a charity box and got on with their day.

Edit...reading down I see this has. Caused some offence....none is meant, and I find it slightly sad it has unsettled people. I certainly don't judge what people are worth To me as peoe by what they have/have not and what they do or do not decorate their homes with. It doesn't just relate to wedding pictures but other photos.

claire16c

I have quite a few wedding photos out as I love my photos and well why shouldn't I?!and it was only 2 and a half years ago and we don't have children yet so seems normal to me.

But I don't care about anyone else remembering our anniversary, although some people do. It's just DH who would have his neck on the line for that

I think my parents anniversary is in December or January I really can't remember!

Errata

lostinrates wrote: »

There is a slight socio economic bias to wedding photos out on display. Some people would consider it in poor taste to have many photos out at all.

.

I'm familiar with one woman who has dozens of photos on display in all her houses, clearly Her Maj doesn't know how naff she is.

duchy

In the past "familiarity" like that would have got you sent to the Tower !

The only people whose anniversaries I know are ones whose weddings I attended who married on a memorable date like 4th July, my son's birthday etc. Anything beyond the couple themselves remembering with a card or gift is more of a Hallmark moment anyway.... and just keeps the card industry in business.