HELP - how to help my year 12 son study - PLEASE

fletch3163

I have just come back from parent night. My fifth year son is flunking the lot.

So, I have screamed and cried the house down, everyone is now upset:mad: please can anyone help me?

I don't know how to help him. I don't know hat to o. Does anyone know how to do a study timetable? Any tips? Am truly desperate for help.

When I left school at 16 there was no place for study, it was time to work. I don't know how to help him. If I don't figure it out soon he will crash and burn

Spirit_2

You are not the first parent to feel like this, and you won't be the last although I am not sure what crying or screaming role models to a teenager.

How was your son doing before this form? Is his performance now very different to how he has previously achieved?

Hermia

Does he actually want to study? You could put together the best study timetable in the world, but if he doesn't want to study he is just going to ignore it. Have you talked to him about what he wants from the future? Have you explained that many jobs, even unskilled ones, want you to at least have a C in English and Maths.

whitewing

Is he actually attending lessons?

Is it his attitude?

Is he messing around?

Have you had any indication as to why this is happening?

Or exactly what is happening?

How are things at home? If things are bad there, is this the only expression of his sadness that you will take notice on?

Is your partner beating the living daylights out of you? That would affect his school performance.

There isn't enough info to guide you here.

fletch3163

Last year standard grade he got
2 maths
2 physics
2 chemistry
2 computing

3 French
3 English
3 history

He was smart enough last year, though there was a struggle to make him study. Now we have calmed down he admits he has been super lazy and promises to try harder but he is asking me to help him, and I don't know how.

I know screaming and shouting is ultimately not the answer. I was embarrassed and ill equipped for the downside. My son is lazy and I have an inability to be tough but I am failing him. That's why I am seeking help.

Thanks for your responses

fletch3163

White wing, I am at a complete loss as to your post?

I know why, I just don't know how to help. He is lazy, it is simple. No beatings, no truancy, no drugs, drink, or any other misbehaviour. My son is annoyingly naive, very straightforward and quite boring really. His attention is taken with online games, pals on earphones, that's it.

Getting him off is the answer but I have to try to engage him.

dragonette

Highers are a helluva lot more work than standard grades! Even studying hard its common to drop a grade or two, 7 1's and a 2 led to BBBCC for me.

He has to want to do it, coasting doesnt work for Highers

WantToBeSE

Hiya Fletch. I have a 13 year old son and his lack of concern about studying 9and life in general actually! ) amazes me sometimes!

Last year we went through a similar thing to what you are now, and once i had calmed down and had a proper chat to him about it (no lecturing, just wanted to hear his reaction to what was going on), i found it easier to understand.
My son is good at school, but really doesnt enjoy it. He hates homework with a passion, but i told him that i am not asking him to like it or enjoy it, but just to do it to the best of his ability.
He needed to know i was on his side and that i am not expecting him to be perfect at it all. Maybe a similar chat to your son would help him (and you)?

Shushannah

Let him fail.
If he only works now because you force him to, what will happen when if he gets to university or leaves home.
My son was somewhat similar last year (he was in yr 11).
I pointed out to him that if he wanted to do A levels he would need to work. If he didn't he would have to get a job. I explained that the latter was much cheaper for me.
He is now successfully doing A levels, he made the choice to work himself.

fletch3163

dragonette wrote: »

Highers are a helluva lot more work than standard grades! Even studying hard its common to drop a grade or two, 7 1's and a 2 led to BBBCC for me.

He has to want to do it, coasting doesnt work for Highers

Nail on the head. Thanks for that. I just need to get through to him. If I can help with a solution. I truly think he is floundering and I have no idea how to help.

My head is bursting now. Tanks for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it

meritaten

Whoah! if he is 'flunking' all subjects - why?
go back and see what years he was doing ok in.
if it isn't attendance then you need to ask what is going wrong here! and it may not be your sons fault!
have an open mind and go back and see where its gone wrong - I find it strange you are suddenly told 'he is failing everything'! what indications did you have before?