3rd baby?

dandy-candy

Then tell him straight away how you feel. If it's been this long and you are still longing for baby 3 then I can't see it changing. TELL HIM NOW!!

heartbreak_star

Look at the two beautiful children you have.

Draw up a list of pros and cons.

And sit down and TALK.

Good luck!

HBS x

Alikay

katym79 wrote: »

It kind of came to head this weekend, when I gave him the ultimatum; try for a baby or go for a vasectomy. He chose vasectomy, and I feel crushed.

Why did you offer vasectomy as the alternative to another baby? That's the polar opposite of what you want and permanently discounts a change of mind, even if you won the lottery (assuming finances are a factor in his decision).

ciderwithrosie_2

I've loved it, I had 3 in 4 yrs 10 months. I did question for a while whether we should stop at 2 boys but the broodiness was too strong. Son no3 has been a challenge and a delight in equal measure.

Jagraf

I don't think your question is any different from wanting 0, 1, 2 4, 5, 6 ......

It's only you who can experience it. No one else can help you just because they may have the same amount of children as you, iykwim x

peachyprice

katym79 wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies- lots of you describe feeling the way I do so that's reassuring. Here's my problem in a nutshell: we have a pretty nice lifestyle, both work full time, enjoy our jobs, not wealthy but we do ok, don't have money worries. My youngest is 2 1/2 so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of childcare costs, nappies, pushchairs, cot etc. I can probably think of 50 other reasons why having another baby isn't a good idea. I do just have a yearning, I'd say it's almost a physical ache for another little baby. If we went for another though, it's certainly true, we wouldn't have the same quality of life, and we'd struggle to pay for childcare for 3, so I'd have to give up my job. The feelings I have I know are not rational, I really just want to get over feeling like this. I feel very lucky to have the lovely family I've got, and feel another would be selfish really. But I still feel sad when I think that I won't have another.

And what if you have No.3 and the feelings are still there? If it's a 'little baby' you're yearning after rather than another child it's quite possible that you will still yearn for a baby once No.3 gets to the same age No.2 is now.

Edit: Doh, just realised this is an old thread.

Sounds like your OH really doesn't want another if he's willing to have a vasectomy. Do you think if he does have the snip you'll be able to move on more easily?

FBaby

Got two tried for a third, didn't work, had to move on, thought I would be left heartbroken with a void forever but not only did the pain gradually eased, it was slowly replaced by a relief that I didn't have a third and now just plan grateful!

I think what happens is that you start making different plans, looking forward to different things, and these things can of interfer with being a parent so you start to see the positives of not having another.

Threebabes

We had a happy accident and had no. 3. She was the sweetest loving baby and completed our family.

She's still adorable and 11 but guess that will change in the next few years.

Moved to a 4 bed last year so the girls shared for 10 year.

oystercatcher

My first child died, after that all I wanted was to have more babies despite there being a fatal genetic condition with a high chance it could reoccur. We went on and had three more children all healthy and lovely . Then, (first) husband had a vasectomy so we didn't have to effectively play russian roulette with our childrens lives . The broodiness never went. I bitterly regretted that vasectomy.

Eventually, I remarried and we tried for another baby but it didn't happen, probably because i was too old. When it came to the point of considering IVF with donor eggs I decided enough was enough and I should be grateful for the childen I had. The desperate longing never really went though. There will always be a missing child

Jagraf

oystercatcher wrote: »

My first child died, after that all I wanted was to have more babies despite there being a fatal genetic condition with a high chance it could reoccur. We went on and had three more children all healthy and lovely . Then, (first) husband had a vasectomy so we didn't have to effectively play russian roulette with our childrens lives . The broodiness never went. I bitterly regretted that vasectomy.

Eventually, I remarried and we tried for another baby but it didn't happen, probably because i was too old. When it came to the point of considering IVF with donor eggs I decided enough was enough and I should be grateful for the childen I had. The desperate longing never really went though. There will always be a missing child

My friend lost a baby boy. She then had two beautiful daughters but kept yearning for another. She couldn't have any more and realises now there was no replacement no matter how many she had had. She does have two beautiful grandsons now xxxx