3rd baby?

Alikay

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I don't think not having a third child is a regret in the way that some people feel who desperately want them but aren't able to have any. Or that's my personal pragmatic view on it anyway.

I agree (though we have 3 and very vaguely thought about 4). It's more a wistful "wouldn't it have been nice ...." feeling and not the powerful sense of loss and regret that I've heard people who have not been able to have children experience.

pukkamum

We went round the houses with regards to having a 3rd, I am one of 3 DH is one of 4 so our family of 4 just felt slightly incomplete.
We decided to I made an appointment to have coil removed, then we chickened out.
A year later the feeling hadn't gone so we went for it.
It has been hard, very hard but no3 was and still remains a very shall we say 'challenging' child.
Having said that when i see all 3 snuggled up on the couch it feels so right and i do feel she completes me, i also relish her being my last and really try and enjoy every bit.
I suspect if I hadn't had her when i did I would have got to 40 and done it.
The other 2 love having a lo around, most of the time, and though the girls have to share a room and we do have less money to spend on luxuries, I know when i look back in my dotage none of that will matter and i will have 3 wonderful children.
The broody feeling though, it never goes away, certainly not for me, luckily my head overrides my heart!

hazyjo

My friend always wanted three. I always saw her with three. She'd put it off and put it off as her hubby wasn't keen on having another cos of money, time, etc and she convinced herself having two was the right decision. She always felt like someone was missing too.

She didn't even feel it was right getting rid of the baby stuff from years ago (her kids (girl/boy) are now 12 and 10) nor did she want to consider a vasectomy/sterilisation.

They said they'd give it a try, and she got pregnant straight away. She now says her life and family feels complete (and she's happy to get rid of unwanted baby stuff and hubby may have a vasectomy).

She had her third (boy) at 42, 15 months ago. No regrets.

Don't know anyone else in that boat, everyone else seems happy with the number of kids they've got.

(I'd like one, but very unlikely now!)

Jx

Threebabes

I fell pregnant accidentally with my no 3. I did have a longing for a third so after the initial shock I was pleased. Im so pleased we have got her, we already had a boy and a girl. Shes an absolute joy to have around. It is more expensive, we are hoping to move in the next couple of year to a 4 bed house. I wouldnt change a thing though.

Prothet_of_Doom

From a blokes point of view : If you want one, can we stop you ?

My sister's ex husband went out and had the snip without telling her.

Which might be why he's an ex?


There is always a logical reason why not to have kids, but lucky for the human race, some chemical in a woman's brain keeps the human race going.

VICSH

Just from another point of view, my friend was desperate for her 3rd, she eventually persuaded her dh to agree and fell pregnanct almost straight away. Had her 12 week scan and it was Twins!!!!

onlyroz

I think you have to consider *why* you want a third. Is it just because you want to hold a cute cuddly baby again, or do you actually want a larger family? For me, I've got a comfortable life-style and a house with a reasonable amount of space. My kids are now at school so I'm not paying nursery fees, and we can afford to go abroad most years. If I had a third child our lifestyle would have to be curbed and I wouldn't have as much time to spend with each child.

I'd suggest that you leave the decision a few months to see if you still feel the same way.

ellay864

I worked with a lady who had 2, one of each. Her hubby wanted more, she was happy to stick at 2 but in the end they agreed on one more (he had been saying 4 kids would be good). She fell pregnant naturally with triplets and for a few months had 5 kids all under school age. Probably not the most likely downside I grant you...!

sedment

Im a bit like you op, I have two and and we have a good life, holiday abroad every year, takeaway/nights out when we want etc. But its like longing and it wont go away. I have a small doubt at the back of my mind, along the lines of am I too old (35) can I cope with homework, screaming and cooking with three under 8 till my oh comes home. But the overriding feeling is we can deal with it. So we are going to try for another next year.

itsanne

I suspect that many people have a hankering for "one more". We had the three you're thinking of and would have quite liked a fourth, but that would have meant a much bigger upheaval than number three as both of us and four children wouldn't fit into a normal car and we would have needed a bigger house.

To answer your question about whether the broody feelings will go away, I look back and think "we would have liked", but don't regret in the slightest stopping when we did. That doesn't mean I think you should stick with two - only you and your OH can decide that.

Things to think about would be how does your OH feel about and what changes would having another child force on you. It's also important that it wouldn't just be because you like the baby / small child stage or you'll be posting to ask about number 4!