Bucket list

fluffnutter

Nah. As much as I like to think I'd have a dignified, purposeful end it's more likely I'd spend my last days mired in self-pity and depression.

Gigervamp

fluffnutter wrote: »

Nah. As much as I like to think I'd have a dignified, purposeful end it's more likely I'd spend my last days mired in self-pity and depression.

I spent a year in a bit of a fug after my diagnosis. When I first started my treatment, the doc said they were looking to cure it, but although the cancer shrank after the chemo and rads, they found it was too close to my sciatic nerve to operate. I didn't believe the doc anyway as everybody I know who has had cancer has died of it, so the news that they couldn't remove it didn't make much difference to how I felt about it.

I feel a lot better mentally now. I think it was my 50th birthday that changed things. Wasn't sure if I was going to see that, but I did and I'm feeling pretty good about things now. And the cancer is stable, don't have to go back to the hospital until February and I'm not on any meds. :j

fluffnutter

Gigervamp wrote: »

I spent a year in a bit of a fug after my diagnosis. When I first started my treatment, the doc said they were looking to cure it, but although the cancer shrank after the chemo and rads, they found it was too close to my sciatic nerve to operate. I didn't believe the doc anyway as everybody I know who has had cancer has died of it, so the news that they couldn't remove it didn't make much difference to how I felt about it.

I feel a lot better mentally now. I think it was my 50th birthday that changed things. Wasn't sure if I was going to see that, but I did and I'm feeling pretty good about things now. And the cancer is stable, don't have to go back to the hospital until February and I'm not on any meds. :j

Do you think you're at the 'acceptance' stage then? Don't they say that being told you have a terminal illness means you go through particular stages? Denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance I think is the usual way it's expressed?

If you are, then I think it's the most anyone can expect and I think it's wonderful you're feeling good about things. TBH, I think there's an awful lot of pressure on people to behave 'admirably' or to 'cope magnificently' and to 'battle their illness'. Personally I think people should be free to rant and rave and to be angry and sad and frightened and depressed. All too often this idea that people should 'put a brave face on things' and 'fight the good fight' (laughter is the best medicine!) is not about them, it's about everyone else. It takes the burden away from the loved ones if they feel that the afflicted person is 'coping'.

Gigervamp

To be honest, I've never felt anger or anything like that. It was more like "Ah, so that's why my kidneys packed up." I was always expecting to get cancer, my dad and both his parents died of it, so I just kind of assumed I'd get it too one day.

I've always accepted it. Been very pragmatic about the whole thing, but it did take over my life. It would be the last thing on my mind as I went to sleep, and on and off my mind thoughout the day.

Since my birthday, that's changed. It also helped that I finally had my nephrostomy removed. My kidney was draining externally into bags and I often had pain or problems with that. Once the stent went in and the bags were gone, although it stings a bit when I wee, I feel so much better.

Prothet_of_Doom

I guess that in a flippant way we all have a terminal illness, and I myself only have about 40 to 60 years left.

There are so many things that I really have no desire to do, including swim with dolpins, or sharks, that I think my bucket list might have a hole.
The only thing I really want to do is build the ultimate mk1 mx5 with big turbo, and roll cage, and take it racing. I suppose I should get on with it given that I don't have long left.

Gigervamp

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I guess that in a flippant way we all have a terminal illness, and I myself only have about 40 to 60 years left.

Lol. I remember my mum telling me, when I was little, that we're all dying a little bit each day. That fascinated me.

DKLS

scooby088 wrote: »

Revenge as karma takes too long.

Too right, sod swimming with dolphins, if you want to know what a dolphin is like, stroke a warm boiled egg.

DigForVictory

Slightly depends on How Long...
If I've less than a week, then get a driver (to prevent any Freudian slips) & hurtle round family. Whilst stuck in traffic, write letters to all family I won't have time to see, the gist being "I love you".

If I've a month or more, hold a 'please bring a vehicle' party & distribute chattels while I can see folks pleased to be given the complete Jane Austen, or cookbooks & cooking equipment - even the freezer! Drop in on a solicitor & check Will says what I want it to, and see what paperwork will be wanted. Then buy a funeral plan! Saves everyone wondering what I would gave wanted, but leave it with escape hatches so they don't have to follow my plan. Also book & pay for caterers so my death certificate triggers several big family parties in different towns.

Over a year, scheme to spend time in various museums in the UK, US, Europe & Russia. It would be inconvenient to die in the Hermitage museum, but I'd go a sight happier!

Hermia

SavingPennies wrote: »

I think the idea is to do them during your lifetime, not necessarily wait till its almost too late like in the film. Also they can be free, like tell someone something you've never dared to (good or bad) or dye your hair blue, though generally they are expensive otherwise youd already have done it.

I'm not sure where the idea that it's something you do when you are terminally ill comes from. I guess that's why some people call it a life list.

I think whether a bucket list will work for you depends on your personality. I know I am someone who needs to have goals and a structure to achieve my dreams. I do have friends who have more dynamic personalities and make things happen all the time so they don't need to set goals in the same way.

Faith177

I have a list of things I would like too do but I won't keep it for just in case I cross things off now when I can. My dad died suddenly at the age of 28 and he had so much he had wanted to do but didn't get to.

For example I wanted to go to the Winter Palace in St Petersburg and my mum wanted to go to Red Square we've done that. We are now planning to go back when my mum gets the all clear from cancer.

I have always wanted to visit the Titanic cemetery in Halifax Nova Scotia I did that on the 100th anniversary of the sinking. I went on my own had an amazing time. I have also been to nearly every place she docked only Southampton left too do.

Life is too short to save experiences just in case by all means have a bucket list but act on it while you have the chance.