Mrs PG's Hopes & Dreams for a debt free future !

brizzledfw

Great news....all of it..( although on second thoughts just lay off the ironing!,;))

Hope the house sale goes smoothly and there is some upside for the family

X

PinotGrigio41

brizzledfw wrote: »

Great news....all of it..( although on second thoughts just lay off the ironing!,;))

Hope the house sale goes smoothly and there is some upside for the family

X[/QUOTE

Ironing is the bain of my life. I realised the majority seems to be DD2s , so I am wondering if she is perhaps throwing things in the dirty washing instead of hanging them back up when she has worn them for 30 mins !!

Sadly, don't think there will be much upside. Their Savings will go on paying us back DM's Care Fees / Funeral Costs and when the house is sold the Solicitors and Estate Agents fees. There is unlikely too be anything left from that. They would be upset by that but it is what it is. As a family we funded DM's Care whilst trying to get Social Services to get off of their backsides and sort some funding. It was finally arranged after she had passed away, it took five months to get a Financial Assessment , but would only give the bare minimum despite her having a Terminal Illness, whereby I think she should have received Continuing Healthcare Funding at the very least. After her Prognosis we were told she would receive End OF Life Funding but they swiftly swept that under the carpet and it was never mentioned again. Due to the fact that they discharged her without a Care Plan from hospital as well, Its another thing to fight in my opinion , as she was very let down,. I need to clear my head after the Court Case and brush up on my knowledge of the Healthcare System and see if I can appeal the decision.

As far as the house goes, they withdrew Equity on the property a few years ago via an Equity Release Scheme and the interest has sky rocketed to more than 3/4 the value of the house. I feel terrible about this, as we were helping them, but when we got into financial difficulties and could no longer help to the degree that we were, they took out this Scheme to help them through. I have been advised to try and appeal the interest being charged and see if we can get it reduced, but I am not the only person who can make those decisions. I know that DM & DD would want me to fight this all the way, but Im not sure the rest of the family feel the same.

Decisions Decisions xxx

Honey_Bear

It's definitely worth appealing the decision about funding terminal health care fees, Mrs PG, but it can be very distressing to have to read all the care home notes to find the information. The process takes an absolute age, too. May I suggest that in the circumstances you ask the care home for a copy of the notes, and the necessary forms from the relevant funding body and then leave them on the side without reading them for at least three months. You'd also need her hosptial notes from her related stays in hospital, and discharge information, so you need to contact the hospital, too. I'm afraid. That should be within the time limits, but that can be checked when you ask for the forms. It is an upsetting process, but if you genuinely beleive that she shouldn't have paid and the fees were high, it might be well worth it.

You've got enough to be going on with without all of that, tbh.

My brothers, for some reason, were convinced my mother's nursing home fees should have been covered and against my better judgement I started working on the paperwork knowing full well she'd made the decision herself to go into care so I didn't believe she was eligible. Reading her notes gave me hideous nightmares and brought back a lot of very unhappy memories, so I packaged the whole lot up and sent them to my brothers, who'd left most of the difficult stuff to me anyway as soon as they knew how ill both our parents were, and told them if they wanted the money they'd have to do the work themselves.

dangers

Mrs PG, a few years back, there was a very long thread on here about continued healthcare. It would have been on the over 50s sub board. No idea as to whether it's still running, but I seem to recall there was a large amount of useful information on there.

Good luck with it all. X

PinotGrigio41

Honey_Bear wrote: »

It's definitely worth appealing the decision about funding terminal health care fees, Mrs PG, but it can be very distressing to have to read all the care home notes to find the information. The process takes an absolute age, too. May I suggest that in the circumstances you ask the care home for a copy of the notes, and the necessary forms from the relevant funding body and then leave them on the side without reading them for at least three months. You'd also need her hosptial notes from her related stays in hospital, and discharge information, so you need to contact the hospital, too. I'm afraid. That should be within the time limits, but that can be checked when you ask for the forms. It is an upsetting process, but if you genuinely beleive that she shouldn't have paid and the fees were high, it might be well worth it.

You've got enough to be going on with without all of that, tbh.

My brothers, for some reason, were convinced my mother's nursing home fees should have been covered and against my better judgement I started working on the paperwork knowing full well she'd made the decision herself to go into care so I didn't believe she was eligible. Reading her notes gave me hideous nightmares and brought back a lot of very unhappy memories, so I packaged the whole lot up and sent them to my brothers, who'd left most of the difficult stuff to me anyway as soon as they knew how ill both our parents were, and told them if they wanted the money they'd have to do the work themselves.

Thankyou Honey Bear that's really helpful and I am so sorry you have also had to go through this,it must have been very traumatic for you.

Its the principal of it all really as without boring everyone to tears with the detail the whole process in my opinion was horrendous and noone seemed to know their @r$£ from their elbow . When in hospital we were given so many differing decisions, that it literally changed every day over the course of a week.

I'm not sure I have the energy to fight it and I certainly don't relish reading the paperwork. I have filled the forms in for the hospital notes and have spoken with the GP who no longer has her Surgery notes, so I will need to apply elsewhere for those as well. I feel sad for her if she was entitled to more help than she actually got .

I will put it in a pile and have a think. I have a bit of a nature of trying to get to the bottom of everything and I have trouble letting it lie. Thats one thing I did inherit from my mum, we used to say she was like a bulldog with a gnat ! Once she got a bee in her bonnet about something she couldnt let it lie and I'm afraid I'm the same. Its not always a good trait to have though !! :rotfl:

Thankyou so much for your advice, its really very appreciated x

PinotGrigio41

dangers wrote: »

Mrs PG, a few years back, there was a very long thread on here about continued healthcare. It would have been on the over 50s sub board. No idea as to whether it's still running, but I seem to recall there was a large amount of useful information on there.

Good luck with it all. X

Brilliant dangers, thankyou so much, I will take a look and see if I can find it. I hope it is still there.

I have read a few bits and pieces, some of which sound near identical situations to ours. These people seemed to receive End Of Life or Continuing Healthcare Funding with the same/ similar diagnosis and prognosis, another reason why I feel like I should investigate it further. IT could all be a waste of time and so be it, but a part of me feels that I owe to her to try and delve a bit deeper, as I know she would. I need to concentrate properly on it all, as its such a minefield. x

joeyjimbles

Just caught up with your diary - was several months out of date - and wanted to come and say how sorry I was about your mother passing away and now potentially having to fight to get what she should have had, but also Woohoo for the court case win.
I admire you so much for the way you tackle everything - I hope 2016 is a great year for you and your family. You definitely deserve it.

brizzledfw

Sorry to hear this PG...hasn't expected that. Had simply hoped you'd get some upside.

It is a balancing act, isn't it? But really, do what what you have the energy for. Don't be too swayed by what DM or any other family member would have done..you are in the here and now, and you need to look after yourself OH and the girls. Equally as you say other family members are involved too. This is not a simple ( or from what others have said), straightforward and success is not guaranteed.

Breathe..and maybe...just maybe..let go

Xx

PinotGrigio41

Jut dropped by quickly, and your message about me taking a breath really made me laugh !

You will never guess what I did today, total Numpty that I am ?

Trying to juggle a million things, as we all do and was frantically falling behind and getting myself a bit worked up.

I was working in the office when remembered I needed to collect a Prescription for DD2, as the chemist was closed last night. She needed to start taking the tablets straight away, so realising it was nearly her break time, and there being a sneaky place I can quickly meet her with a bottle of water and the tablet without having to go through the medical room ( ) I jumped in the car and drove to the Chemist. I ran in, it was packed and I was getting more and more agitated as I had to get back for a meeting 20 mins time. The lady, as lovely as she is , wanted a chat about our ailments which I really didnt have time for , but I didn't want to be rude. They took the prescription and while I was waiting for them to get it ready, I hunted around for my keys. They weren't in my pockets or my bag . nor were they on the counter. When the tablets were ready, I grabbed them and headed outside with the lady calling after me if I had found my keys yet ? I shouted back that I hadn't but would rummage in my bag again when outside.

As I walked out of the shop towards the car, I realised the headlights were still on and the drivers door wide open . Idiot that I am, in my haste I had left the engine running, keys in the ignition and door wide open and just jumped out of the car and ran into the Chemist !:eek:

I can only imagine my confusion , if had I walked outside to find my car gone. So lucky that nobody took a liking to it and jumped in and drove away with it.

Note to self........really must slow down !!! :o:o

brizzledfw

Umm.. and to repeat..

Breathe and slow down

:rotfl: