Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

sugarbaby125

Congratulations to you and your impending groom. Congratulations to your friend on her pregnancy. I hope all goes well with you both on your special days and throughout your friend's pregnancy.

Talk to her and decide together.

My oldest daughter is getting married on a tight budget in April 2014, but has already had to buy 2 dresses for 2 of her 6 bridesmaids. Never even occurred to her to expect the bridesmaids to contribute or to buy their 2nd dresses.

frugs

I'm getting married next year and aware that one of my bridesmaids is planning on being around 4 months pregnant (as far as you can plan these things). I don't desperately want a pregnant bridesmaid, but I want my friend a lot more. We agreed that rather than buy a brand new dress we'd get a larger size off ebay which she can have resized as required. I feel it's my responsibility to provide a dress, but not to account for her family planning! She knows I've got enough to think about already and I wouldn't expect her to plan her family around me. I guess that's called compromise!

Fujiko

One question which has not been raised is what style are the bridesmaids' dresses? Assuming they are all close-fitted with a defined waist I cannot see how anyone who is six months pregnant could wear one without looking ridiculous. She could perhaps get away with being Matron of Honour in a more flattering style, but an obviously pregnant bridesmaid - no!

UnlikelyButTrue

I have mentioned this before on another similar thread, but I was bridesmaid at my friend's 'budget wedding' (very proudly told everyone how little it had cost her) and she picked dresses / petticoats / shoes / accesories for her 4 bridesmaids, and then sent us the internet link so we had to buy all of it ourselves... over £100's worth and it's not something I would ever wear again....

At the time I thought it was cheeky as we also had to buy seamed stockings, black shoes, red lipstick, black handbags etc as well as the very specific dress and petticoat. I didn't think it was very fair for us to pay for it all ourselves but it was that or let her down.

I think if your bridesmaid needs her dress changed then it should be up to her to pay for a second one. And she should be pleased that you bought her one in the first place!

(rant :mad: rant :mad: rant!)

dmg1109

I believe that the pregnant Bridesmaid should feel a sense of responsibility here. If the dress is already purchased then she should feel it is her place to replace the dress with one that fits her - its only fair. This happened to my friend she had SIX (can you believe it) bridesmaids and two of them got pregnant. One paid for her own alterations and was nearly 9 months by the time of the wedding -the other bowed out of the bridal party as she didn't want to wear such a dress pregnant. I believe a conversation will clear it up - however, I do not believe it is your responsibility to replace the dress to fit a blossoming mother to be. AS Mr bacon says in those adverts - no brainer!

Any

frugs wrote: »

I'm getting married next year and aware that one of my bridesmaids is planning on being around 4 months pregnant (as far as you can plan these things). I don't desperately want a pregnant bridesmaid, but I want my friend a lot more. We agreed that rather than buy a brand new dress we'd get a larger size off ebay which she can have resized as required. I feel it's my responsibility to provide a dress, but not to account for her family planning! She knows I've got enough to think about already and I wouldn't expect her to plan her family around me. I guess that's called compromise!

No, that is not being called compromise, that is being called sensible.
If the wedding is in March and she just told the bride that she is pregnant she was possibly trying or was already pregnant when they bought the dresses...
It is always easier to buy bigger dress and alter it later IF YOU KNOW what might happened. As an amateur seamstress I can tell you that making smaller dress bigger is nearly impossible.

Any

UnlikelyButTrue wrote: »

I have mentioned this before on another similar thread, but I was bridesmaid at my friend's 'budget wedding' (very proudly told everyone how little it had cost her) and she picked dresses / petticoats / shoes / accesories for her 4 bridesmaids, and then sent us the internet link so we had to buy all of it ourselves... over £100's worth and it's not something I would ever wear again....

At the time I thought it was cheeky as we also had to buy seamed stockings, black shoes, red lipstick, black handbags etc as well as the very specific dress and petticoat. I didn't think it was very fair for us to pay for it all ourselves but it was that or let her down.

I think if your bridesmaid needs her dress changed then it should be up to her to pay for a second one. And she should be pleased that you bought her one in the first place!

(rant :mad: rant :mad: rant!)

Well, I would have bailed out of that wedding...

gaving7095

Making her into a maid of honour sounds like a brilliant option :-)
It's your wedding & I think you know the "right" answer from your comment "I know I'm going to get judged for saying it". Personally I wouldn't expect asking a bridesmaid to pay for her own dress to end well, no matter what the circumstances.

sweetshop_2

Why not just elope and use the wedding money to pay off debt/ mortgage/rent, etc. Problem solved (in a money saving manner).

Always remember that those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.....

First_Trouble

Me & my husband got married last year we had to slash the budget by half as we brought the wedding day forward by 2yrs. This was due to my nan and his father being quite ill and we were worried that they may not be around to share the big day with us. We knew that we had to re look at our original budget and see what we could cut down on. We then had a sit down with all our bridesmaids and best men to see if they wouldn't mind paying for their clothes. We paid for all other accessories and any alterations that were needed. I also started planning far in advance so I could plenty of time to find the best deals and cheapest rates I think it is all down to what you can afford and also if the dress can be taken out or maybe a matching shawl with a plain comfortable dress. A nice sit down chat with your friend would be the best course of action and come to a mutual decision. You obviously asked her to be your bridesmaid as she means a lot to you and you wanted her to take part in your wedding. Her getting pregnant shouldn't change that.