Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

edited 29 November 2013 at 9:01PM in MoneySaving polls
93 replies 24.4K views
Former_MSE_DebsFormer_MSE_Debs Former MSE
890 Posts
edited 29 November 2013 at 9:01PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

I'm getting married in March, and have just found out one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. She's obviously not going to fit into the dress she has, so she's told me she'll need a new one. I know I'm going to get judged for saying it, but I feel like she should be the one that pays for it. Is it fair that I ask her to or is it my responsibility as the bride to pay for it?

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  • macaronimacaroni Forumite
    445 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Photogenic
    Get a new bridesmaid....make this one into a maid of honour
  • Sorry but it is down to you IMO
    Can you sell old one towards it?
  • iclayticlayt Forumite
    450 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Interesting that you don't say "but I can't afford to replace it" as is so often the case in these Dilemmas. So is it the case that you could replace it, just don't think you should? She didn't get pregnant just to cause you some minor wedding-based stress. If you were happy to buy her the first dress, buy her one again (can't you return the first?). You asked her to be your bridesmaid, presumably, and not the other way round, so I don't see why she should pay - especially if the others aren't paying for their dresses either.
  • Hi,
    I think if your close enough to have this person as your bridesmaid then she should be fine to chat 2 and express if your hard up and really can't afford to purchase a replacement.If it's more that you feel put out maybe think how you would feel if you were in her shoes?
    Whatever happens good luck and congratulations x
  • TalentTalent Forumite
    244 Posts
    So you think some poor guy should go without just because the girl is made a bridesmaid?
    Anyway, if you can afford it, be nice.
    If she can afford it, let her.
    You need to talk.
  • duchyduchy Forumite
    19.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    There is a bridezilla thread on the weddings forum.
    Do you want a six month pregnant bridesmaid ...could the dress be altered ....does she even still want to be bridesmaid ? Have you talked to her about how you can't afford a new dress? Hopefully you managed to congratulate her before thinking about your wedding arrangements....If you didn't you may not have a problem anyway.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding problem
  • Don't think there's a perfect answer here. How about going halves on the cost of alteration / replacement?
  • Cough up, you're getting married on the basis of "in sickness and in health". That goes for your bridesmaids too. Be happy for her.
  • guirimanguiriman Forumite
    522 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Just think how thin you're going to look standing next to her :) That should ease the pain of buying her another dress.
  • What are you all on about? The bridesmaid should definitely pay for the dress! The bride has already bought her one dress, if this no longer fits, for whatever reason then it's up to the bridesmaid to fix it. What if another porky bridesmaid decided to go on a crash diet and lost a few stone? New dress again? No. Besides, if you can't afford a new dress because you got pregnant then you really shouldn't be having a baby!! Clearly some very silly people commenting on here.
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