Real-life MMD: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

Former_MSE_Debs Posts: 890 Forumite
edited 29 November 2013 at 9:01PM in MoneySaving polls
Money Moral Dilemma: My pregnant bridesmaid needs a new dress - who pays?

I'm getting married in March, and have just found out one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. She's obviously not going to fit into the dress she has, so she's told me she'll need a new one. I know I'm going to get judged for saying it, but I feel like she should be the one that pays for it. Is it fair that I ask her to or is it my responsibility as the bride to pay for it?

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  • macaroni
    macaroni Posts: 447
    First Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    Get a new bridesmaid....make this one into a maid of honour
  • Sorry but it is down to you IMO
    Can you sell old one towards it?
  • iclayt
    iclayt Posts: 454
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Interesting that you don't say "but I can't afford to replace it" as is so often the case in these Dilemmas. So is it the case that you could replace it, just don't think you should? She didn't get pregnant just to cause you some minor wedding-based stress. If you were happy to buy her the first dress, buy her one again (can't you return the first?). You asked her to be your bridesmaid, presumably, and not the other way round, so I don't see why she should pay - especially if the others aren't paying for their dresses either.
  • Hi,
    I think if your close enough to have this person as your bridesmaid then she should be fine to chat 2 and express if your hard up and really can't afford to purchase a replacement.If it's more that you feel put out maybe think how you would feel if you were in her shoes?
    Whatever happens good luck and congratulations x
  • Talent
    Talent Posts: 244 Forumite
    So you think some poor guy should go without just because the girl is made a bridesmaid?
    Anyway, if you can afford it, be nice.
    If she can afford it, let her.
    You need to talk.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    There is a bridezilla thread on the weddings forum.
    Do you want a six month pregnant bridesmaid ...could the dress be altered ....does she even still want to be bridesmaid ? Have you talked to her about how you can't afford a new dress? Hopefully you managed to congratulate her before thinking about your wedding arrangements....If you didn't you may not have a problem anyway.
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding problem
  • mr-tom_2
    mr-tom_2 Posts: 131 Forumite
    Don't think there's a perfect answer here. How about going halves on the cost of alteration / replacement?
  • Cough up, you're getting married on the basis of "in sickness and in health". That goes for your bridesmaids too. Be happy for her.
  • guiriman
    guiriman Posts: 525
    First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Just think how thin you're going to look standing next to her :) That should ease the pain of buying her another dress.
  • What are you all on about? The bridesmaid should definitely pay for the dress! The bride has already bought her one dress, if this no longer fits, for whatever reason then it's up to the bridesmaid to fix it. What if another porky bridesmaid decided to go on a crash diet and lost a few stone? New dress again? No. Besides, if you can't afford a new dress because you got pregnant then you really shouldn't be having a baby!! Clearly some very silly people commenting on here.
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