'Living Simply' with children

Valli

Araboo27 wrote: »

My eldest has got Xbox games on his bday (in dec) and xmas list - how do I deal with this?

Don't buy what's on the list?

sarahlouisexo

Haven't read all replies so sorry if I'm a repeat.

By all means ban all technology...but how do you think your children will do in IT based subjects in a few years at school? Most of them pretty much assume you have a good knowledge of computers, how to turn on etc etc, the difference between iOS and Android, what html and css is, because most kids in the UK do...its the norm and teaching reflects this.

Technology is a huge part of life. Trying to ban it from your children forces them to live an unrealistic life, and doesn't equipt them for the real world...which I'm sure is what parents are there for?

theoretica

Did anyone else on this thread grow up without a TV? I did. I didn't get picked on for it: sure there were conversations I couldn't join in, but there were plenty of other things to discuss. I ended up with a small circle of kids as friends, not including the ones who lived for popular culture, a wide ranging general knowledge from books and consider myself reasonably tech savvy, though not as fond of it as many people. I am not saying it would work for all families, but I feel I turned out alright!

It isn't an irreversible decision. You are moving house and could just be slow to arrange TV and see how it goes. Perhaps even let the kids choose books with the saved license fee?

Lunar_Eclipse

poet123 wrote: »

I am not sure why anyone would go down that route unless they believed that as a parent they could not adequately control and supervise usage and so had to impose an outright ban. A bit like an alcoholic not daring to take even one drink as they know it is outside their control or comfort zone.

Really? Maybe because it didn't fit their life values or style of parenting? It's not necessarily to do with control. Some people just believe there are better ways to spend time and live their life according to those values and consciously. Lots of people admit to spending too much time doing x/y/z which highlights the point.

For instance, I was chatting to a dad yesterday who told me he runs every other day with his teenage daughter. It's a condition of his if she wants him to ferry her around to various sports matches at weekends (ie be the fittest and best you can be and I'll give you my time but if you don't take it seriously, let's not bother.) In the holidays, she is not allowed to slob out all day in front of the TV like a typical teenager (his words.) He said he wouldn't allow himself to do that, his wife doesn't do it so he's not having his kids being bone idle either. Just one set of values that drives actions and behaviours that other families won't adopt, or even consider. The parents choose to use their time up on other things so there is no time left for TV! We have another set of friends equally driven in life.

Utseya123

I don't think that certain ways of spending time are superior to the other. It is just a matter of interest and just a matter of connecting with one another. Both the parents and the children may connect on some traditional media like board games or cooking or reading. At the same time, they may connect by joining dance classes together, taking up culinary classes together, boxing, watching a movie on TV, playing video games etc. As long as there are memories attached to it, what you do is unimportant. What is more important is the kind of lessons both of you learnt from each other.:beer:

themull1

I don't understand this wanting to go back to living simply - we should embrace technology not shun it, my kids watch what they want, read what they want, and go on the computer. The
occasionally use bad language, but that was when they went to high school, not because of tv/internet. We don't have to live like the Duggers just because we hear a swear word!

themull1

If you don't know who the Duggers are - google them.

brunettifan

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Really? Maybe because it didn't fit their life values or style of parenting? It's not necessarily to do with control. Some people just believe there are better ways to spend time and live their life according to those values and consciously. Lots of people admit to spending too much time doing x/y/z which highlights the point.

For instance, I was chatting to a dad yesterday who told me he runs every other day with his teenage daughter. It's a condition of his if she wants him to ferry her around to various sports matches at weekends (ie be the fittest and best you can be and I'll give you my time but if you don't take it seriously, let's not bother.) In the holidays, she is not allowed to slob out all day in front of the TV like a typical teenager (his words.) He said he wouldn't allow himself to do that, his wife doesn't do it so he's not having his kids being bone idle either. Just one set of values that drives actions and behaviours that other families won't adopt, or even consider. The parents choose to use their time up on other things so there is no time left for TV! We have another set of friends equally driven in life.

I think there is a difference between rationing TV and allowing some "down" time and not having one at all, ditto technology. I haven't seen anyone suggesting "slobbing out all day" is a good idea.

seven-day-weekend

I actually agree with the OP. If this is the decision she has made for her family, then of course she should do it.

I don't buy all this 'he'll hear the bad language at school/elsewhere'. Maybe he will, but he can also get heroine elsewhere, so does that mean you should give it to him at home?

And as for all the 'he'll be bullied', isn't it possible he will learn a valuable lesson about not conforming to the herd?

I think managed properly there is nothing wrong with what the OP wants to do, in fact I think it is admirable.

brunettifan

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I actually agree with the OP. If this is the decision she has made for her family, then of course she should do it.

I don't buy all this 'he'll hear the bad language at school/elsewhere'. Maybe he will, but he can also get heroine elsewhere, so does that mean you should give it to him at home?

And as for all the 'he'll be bullied', isn't it possible he will learn a valuable lesson about not conforming to the herd?

I think managed properly there is nothing wrong with what the OP wants to do, in fact I think it is admirable.

With regard to the bad language, having a TV but supervising/monitoring the programmes should mean that doesn't arise.

Did anyone say bullied? Or was it more "isolated"? Not being able to discuss the things their peers could? I wouldn't want that for any of my children. I would rather they develop an ability to discern which programmes were suitable, under my guidance, then simply impose a ban on all TV and technology.