Apple muncher's number crunching

apple_muncher

Thanks f0xh0les for asking. I'm not working today, which always helps. I took dc up to school but they weren't able to get out of the car, so I brought them back home and they went upstairs to their room while I went to the gym + liddle.

I reckon the St John's Wort is working, but I do still get very low days where I just want to stop working, stop having to do things and curl up in bed for a bit. Not possible though.

It is a massive and constant learning curve about what works or doesn't, and we need to question everything we have got into the habit of doing, as it may not be the best for dc. And anyway, every day is different. No one way of doing things fits every time. And you only learn by getting things wrong, which I find so upsetting.

f0xh0les

You often do learn more from making mistakes  and getting things wrong than success first time.  But it is important for dc to realise you are both learning together.

I tell my DS1 I will make more mistakes with him than his brothers, as he is my practise run.   I haven't done this before, and hopefully  by the time I need to do it all with DS4, I might have more of a clue.  He just laughs at me and thanks me for still feeding him .......after...... every... single...... meal......

Karmacat

f0xh0les said:

I tell my DS1 I will make more mistakes with him than his brothers, as he is my practise run.   I haven't done this before, and hopefully  by the time I need to do it all with DS4, I might have more of a clue.  

I admire a parent verbalising that to a child *so* much!  That's so powerful.

And apple, you *will* also learn from the things that go right.  It's not as obvious, but I bet it's there.

Alchemilla

@apple_muncher it sounds like we have quite similar challenges going on with our DC.

My best friend from school says "you're only as happy as your saddest child" and there's a lot of truth in that.

apple_muncher

So true, Alchemilla. And I only have one child...

We've been for dc's autism assessment where they went in for an hour with the two clin psychs. The next meeting/feedback is via zoom in 8 days. Dc is understandably worn out from it. Not yet sure if they'll make it back for last lesson, as per the plan... Tho the plan enabled them to stay for lamda after school, so that may be an incentive... Got another hour before we have to get a decision out of dc.

I kept our receipted spending records up to date for Jan, but there's a load more from the joint account that I want to add, to have the full picture. Simplifying the receipt side of things was a brainwave!

I went up to the gym this morning, for an arms-only session, as my knees are still swollen and painful. Sigh. So exercise has to avoid anything like squats or lunges, kneeling, or anything on my forearms... It's just so tempting to keep trying things to see how I go... but I need to be sensible for once...

apple_muncher

Well, dc didn't make it in to school. I'm not surprised. And I'd rather they were fit for tomorrow than push on through today.

Alchemilla - I've just finished a book dc gave me to read, called A kind of spark. It's written by a neurodivergent author, is fiction, and is great. Well worth a read.

I think I filled in most of the financials for last month and I'm pretty shocked by the numbers.

£322 on food (£110 specifically on dc food)

£381 on activities for dd (some will cover a couple of months at least)

£112 on activities for me (mostly gym + counselling; only 1 session in Jan so usually £110 alone on that)

£120 on clothes for dc (much needed, about half on uniform items)

£103 on fuel - 2 fill ups. Eek.

£50 ish on medical stuff - St JW, dc specs, dc vits

£215 giving

£462 on utilities (gas/leccy for a month; council tax for the month; water for 6 months)

£10 mortgage!!!

Missing (off the top of my head): tinterweb, dh life insurance thingy. And defo other very small amounts eg bus fares.

A total of approx £1900+. Eek. I am rather appalled. I thought we lived off about £1000 per month... but hey, I live on cloud cuckoo land most of the time anyway... It's cheap there!

However, some of that covers a few months, so I'll see how things progress over the year...

What can reduce? I think it'll be more an ebb and flow re activities all round, clothes, fuel, maybe utilities...

Karmacat

Sorry it shocked you!  But it's good to know the truth, you have more choices now, and your choices can have more positive effects.

f0xh0les

Fuel has gone up loads, it was over £50 to fill up my little N1ssan M1cra and I do it twice a month on average, it has jumped from £40 really quickly.

Winter is expensive.

apple_muncher

The end of the sch day was just s h i t e today. Gave me a belting headache and caused several eruptions of tears. Once the pupils had left the building. And that was even after the dep head and head of year had been in.

So I feel rubbish.

And dh said the bus journey to the youth group was rubbish - their bus didn't move for 15 mins while 2 other buses with the same number went past. So dc won't be doing too well when I go and collect them...

I'm overwhelmed. Have been all day. I slept poorly with a gazillion things whizzing round my head. Anyone else plan an assembly in the night? When they don't even ever run an assembly!!!! No? Just me, then!

2 IBU, 2 packets of s+v crisps, a mini bout of exercise with a stretchy band, and consciously trying to breath and relax is all helping a bit.

greent

Sending lots of ((hugs)) xx