Apple muncher's number crunching

apple_muncher

My time-out was good. The sun was shining, I went to the local charity shop and bought 2 girl's dresses to cut up for bunnies, and a tee shirt for dd. It was good to have a thorough mooch there. Then I did some food shopping and still had time to pop in to see a good friend. I thought the visitor would be gone by the time I returned, but they were still putting the church to rights and I had 15 mins to myself upstairs. Bliss.

I have cut out about a gazillion bunnies, which won't be ready for wednesday's fair, but I am enjoying creating them and using joyful fabrics and combinations of patterns. My hands are already objecting to so much scissor work - ouch.

I shall leave the radiator on low all night - unless 'someone' comes down and turns it off - as we are the end one of 3 terraces and next door is currently empty as he is in hospital, so it is like being a detached house with all outside walls.

Mum is rummaging upstairs, so I shall go up to my room and call home, read a book, and try to get a full night's sleep...

apple_muncher

A chilly start - there has even been a litle frost. The sun is shining, making a good start to the day. So I've turned the radiator up. Have decided to go for a run sooner rather than later, to get it out of the way, so am off for that in the next few mins.

Mum is up and pottering about making tea, so she should keep warm.

greent

Not good about the heating, apple - perhaps the warden could consider having a spare heater (oil filled rad/ halogen) for such occasions.

Hope you've had a good run today
x

apple_muncher

The run was awesome greent although I wanted to just keep on running until I got home... We had a slight frost but clear skies. Wonderful!

The warden has been a total chocolate teapot on this matter. Not even calling in to see how things are, which is very poor indeed. The rad we borrowed from church is an old-fashioned-looking thick one, but is excellent at giving off heat . I've had it on half power with the dial only 1/3 round, and that has been plenty. Until 'someone' turns it off... (I suspect I have managed to offend the warden, but couldn't give two hoots about it. I'll mention it to big sis so that she know what I'm thinking.)

Aside from that, it has been a toughish day. I have been counting down the hours until going-up-to-bed time at 8pm. And am twitching to get home tomorrow to see dd and dh. But that smacks of 'poor me', so I'll crack on with tea.

apple_muncher

Oh dear alert. Feel like crying.

Mother's Day,huh? I made mum a hm card that said To Mum in coloured letters on the front and Happy Mother's Day in coloured letters inside, signed from me. I stood it up and put a red flannel rose inside. I came back from church to find it scribbled on. On the front was a 'thanks' but inside two lines crossed it out with the writing 'what does this mean?'. So I took both the card and rose away, as they obviously mean nothing to mum.

She wasn't ready for the 9.15 service so told me 'go yourself' and said she'd be along later. She did arrive at 10.15, furious with me, 'don't touch me', 'why is the house empty', 'why has everybody gone without telling me'. She settled as soon as I said it was only her and me. Then wanted to go home as she didn't have any smiles for people. Though she stopped and talked cheerily to several people on the way back.

It started at 5am and has been a day of misery. Constant tears and fretting.

It may sound callous, but I long for the day when her memory has gone so far that she can be contented.

Hound of the Baskervilles is on, so I'll make lunch.

apple_muncher

Self-pity time is banned from now on. It is so much worse for mum.


Week 1/12:

Health: doing well. More days without sugar than with. 2 decent runs done at mum's. Plenty of walking. Squats done x5. Saw dad's house empty and it was more nostalgia than sadness. Such a joy to be back home with dd and dh.

Wealth: all pottering along. My one and only investment thingy is worth nearly 8k - not bad. Awesome fabric buys totalling £13.25, from which I have cut out parts for 18 bunnies thus far.

Life well lived: I survived my time with mum and there were some good times in there. Kept mum warm enough (most of the time, anyway) Headspace done several times. Plenty of reading. Much cutting out and some knitting done while at mum's. Enjoyed the sunshine.

apple_muncher

'I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.'

It being Tuesday, I ran part of the way home from work. 34 mins of running. Then buses for the last part. Am pleased with myself.

We are also one step closer to mum being in a care home. Phew.

The epa is registered and we can now apply it.

Plenty of steps still to be done today, so I may reach 20K...

Payday. Nice.

earthgirl

Apple, please don't worry about self-pity - you don't strike me as such at all. You are inspiring, and doing great things.

Sorry to hear about the difficult day, but loved hearing about how your focus continues.

apple_muncher

Thank you earthgirl for such kind words. I am constantly aware of how lacking in kindness I often am when it comes to mum. Sigh.

Today was dd's school Easter fair. £20 for a table and this time I came home in profit by all of £10. I really do not enjoy them, so am finally (''FINALLY'' says dh!) giving them the boot and not doing them anymore. We will simply attend as punters and spend a lot less than £20, I'm sure. And the table price is rising to £25 in the summer...

Had a very good chat with big sis, as we have to rearrange our plans for the Easter hols because mum is going to the care home for a week :j. Stability is what she needs, which kind of precludes me being on the scene, certainly beforehand. However, once she is in the home, I might be able to go up for a few days (to give big sis a break) before returning to work, but that would hit the Easter weekend when train travel will most likely be replaced by buses... And would dh and dd want to come along too? Much to consider, but finding out about the trains is the first thing to do...

earthgirl

At least you made a profit, and I suppose its helped you make your mind up about doing it again.

Fingers and toes crossed that the week in the care home goes well for your mum. Be prepared for some ups and downs, but the home really sounds essential for her safety.

You are very kind to your mum, apple. Not sure I could do what you do!