Apple muncher's number crunching

greent

apple_muncher wrote: »

Indeed, a roller coaster. A good morning, then in the afternoon I managed to really upset mum and she walked out in tears. We did get it all sorted and by the time her friend came for tea, we were friends again. What horrifies me was just how furious I became, totally ignoring the FACT that it is the dementia that has made her this way. I hope that I have learned a very salutory lesson.

I find it extremely difficult being away from dd (and dh, but to a much lesser extent ), yet here I am constantly reminded of how much big sis does and puts up with (from what I see myself, and from what other people tell me) - which makes me feel rotten that I don't do more to help her. I know that I simply cannot do more, without dd becoming very upset and distressed - and she is more precious to me than anything else. And there is my own (mental) health to consider.

So, what if mum doesn't like the care home; what if she refuses to go there; what if they have a stupidly long waiting list; what if she/they 'fail' the probationary period...

And we still have another 4 weeks for the results of the mri done on Jan 11th...

Don't be so hard on yourself, apple - you're dealing with a hard situation xx Your mental & physical health is of the utmost importance - if you're not in reasonable health then you won't be in a position to help your mum & sis at all - you have a different life to manage to your sister and you're both doing what you can - which is all anyone can, tbh.

'What ifs....' - think of them if you must, work out a contingency plan to the worst case scenario - and then try and put the 'what if'-ing aside - it may all come to nothing (I know it's hard to do that, but it's conserving energy, if you can manage it)
xx

apple_muncher

Thank you.

Another day, another dollar. The y9s were out on a trip, so although I had a cover to do, it was a good day.

Ran a little bit of the way home and was home nice and early for a Mondsy. It also helps alleviate some of the stress.

Got home to find dd playing with neighbour - they used to be best buddies then it went sour, but now seems to have been patched up.

Tomorrow is dh's last day of extra caretaking, and he is glad it is nearly over. But it is also good to know he has earned some money...

No contact from big sis today; but I have done some more home research. Didn't reach any earth-shattering conclusions though.

Paid some more off the mortgage. Feel better about the target figure now.

Nearly at the end of my 12 week plan. Need to get another one underway, not forgetting my Lenten one going on in the background.

Have mulled over a few steps to take concerning the 'what if's I wrote. No definitive answers but vague thoughts are floating around in my mind.

Hoping for some decent sleep. I'd dropped of for about 10 mins yesterday when dd appeared at my side at 10pm, unable to sleep. So I got her bedding and sorted her out in between us. She and dh then snored for the next 90 mins, when dh snuffled himself awake noisily. Quite a non-peaceful night, ending at 5.30 when dh got up. It made being at mum's look like a good night's sleep!

apple_muncher

We all had a really good night's sleep last night - phew. Dd really needs more so we'll aim early tonight.

A good day off thus far: got a whites wash #1 done and hung up before the school run, then walked up and returned some library books, got the necessary gf shopping in Sainz, spent my £5 free money in icyland, then visited aldee. Dh joined me in icyland, so we could share the load home.

Another whites wash got done - bedding this time, and then the lounge rug that always get things spilt on it as soon as it is cleaned and put back down. It is now draped over the climbing frame in the sun.

I dragged the mower out of hibernation and have done the front and back. It is not perfect, but not bad for a first cut. (and that makes me well up, as I'd normally be talking to dad about when to do the first mow of the year...).

I have made 8 washcloth bunnies complete with eyes and noses, for dd's Easter fair. I realised that I am going to mum-sit next weds for 5 days and then come back and have 2 days at work , 1 governor evening meeting, 1 brownies evening and then the next day is the fair. Yikes.

And in the background, I have the recorded rugby matches playing.

Dh is glad to have finished his extra caretaking. It really is exhausting. He has been catching up on paperwork for here and dad's house, paying bills...

I saw some gorgeous fabric when last up at mum's, in a proper fabric shop, that almost made me drool :rotfl:. It would be perfect for super cute bunnies. I may buy some next time and see if mum lets me use her sewing machine (which currently resides in the wicker stool thingy in the bathroom, of course). Even if not, I can still cut some out.

Better go and collect dd soon...

earthgirl

Thats such a productive day off apple. You are doing so much for everybody else, much more than I could do. Wowsers!

apple_muncher

Dd has her dance exams tomorrow - tap, ballet and freestyle. She is totally ready for them.

She gained her 'pen licence' at school today, which gives her a pen (surprise, surprise!) and permission to use it for her written work. She is rightly proud.

Big sis took mum to visit the care home today. It went as okay as could be expected. At least mum doesn't seem to have hated it. Now to see how long the waiting list is ...

I tried to do a 'toe-friendly' workout today, as my toes are extremely achey and hurty. (I think it is due to yesterday's footwear + 19k steps, so those trainers are going to recyc.) I couldn't manage it all - it sounded so innocuous... 40 lunge + 30 sec wall sit; 38 lunge + 30 sec wall sit... all the way to 2. Instead of lunges, I did squats + 20 sec wall sit. In 12 mins, I only just got down to 30 squat + wall sit, so I just did a final 3 mins using dumbells.

I found some beautiful turquoisey fabric today - 100% cotton - plus some blingy gold fabric, all for £5. I have cut out 6 bunnies already! And that has made my hands achey and hurty. Sigh. Pesky arthritis making its presence felt...

So... the focus for the next 12 weeks simply has to be on weight loss. I can call it a 'body blitz' or 'get shredded for summer', but ultimately I need to eat less, move more and build up some muscle. Less weight will certainly help the joints, help prevent depression, help reduce the risk of dementia, help me fit into my jeans.

smallholdingsister

How does less weight prevent depression?

apple_muncher

That's probably an oversimplification,but personally, when I feel better in myself as regards my weight, plus I am exercising well, plus I am fueling my body correctly, then I am less prone to a depressive slump. I am particularly sensitive to grains and sugary food, so when I feel 'on the edge' I try to eat more veg and protein instead of reaching for easier food. Don't always manage it, mind...

Hope that makes sense.

earthgirl

Yes total sense. I only have basic mental health training, but we are advised to try to get people moving and fuelling their bodies in a balanced way. Also time outside helps...although I live in Scotland so trying to get my charges outside can be a bit hit and miss with the weather!

Your plans sound great apple.

smallholdingsister

Sorry. I don't mean to be critical. Just interested.

apple_muncher

You didn't come across as critical in the slightest shs!