When people say...don't bring anything...

lostinrates

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I take a bottle of wine if they are teetotal. I say "I know you have everything covered but you won't have bought decent wine cause you never head down that aisle at Tesco"

:rotfl:

Tee total doesn't necessarily mean wine ignorant. I cannot drink by force of medication. I still serve nice wine (and miss it ) and would appreciate the gift of it for the others in my household or to serve at other meals. Just as drinking doesn't mean wine knowledgeable I suppose.....:rotfl:

Oh, goodness, I really would love a glass of wine!

Lunar_Eclipse

victory wrote: »

So, when people say for a xmas stay ' oh don't worry, don't bring anything, do they actually mean absolutely nothing or just a bit of something?'

It means you aren't responsible for bring something specific, ie don't bring the puddings & cheeseboard, all the wine or the ham to roast for lunch.

Of course you shouldn't turn up empty handed, as you shouldn't whenever you're being hosted. Champagne, a poinsettia or festive bunch of flowers, some wine and a big box of chocolates would be appropriate.

If you're staying over, I might add smoked salmon and croissants for Boxing Day breakfast or something, and tell them they can both be frozen/eaten another time if they have plans already.

DigForVictory

"Don't bring anything" has always been translated as "please bring a bottle" by my lot.
When a teetotal visitor looked woryingly shocked, I explained that despite the pretty bag, it was in fact cough mixture. (We still use the "cough mixture" as family language for a hearty red.)
When visiting folk who aren't family & don't drink, I take chocolates & flowers. Somehow, that isn't "anything".

SandC

I would bring my own wine/drinks as I wouldn't want to drink them out of house and home or, worse still, them run out of alcohol and the shops are all shut!! :eek:

victory

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

It means you aren't responsible for bring something specific, ie don't bring the puddings & cheeseboard, all the wine or the ham to roast for lunch.

Of course you shouldn't turn up empty handed, as you shouldn't whenever you're being hosted. Champagne, a poinsettia or festive bunch of flowers, some wine and a big box of chocolates would be appropriate.

If you're staying over, I might add smoked salmon and croissants for Boxing Day breakfast or something, and tell them they can both be frozen/eaten another time if they have plans already.

Thank you, that is a great idea and exactly what I am going to do:D I am going to take the thank you chocs (expiry date next year) a ponisettia as I know she loves house plants (bought one years ago for her birthday and still going strong)

We are staying over so yes will take the salmon (frozen and will keep) and those mini thingamigies that go with them (name escapes me) for a posh breakfast but as said if they have that already in hand then they can keep frozen for another time.

Perfect, all sorted, feel miles better now, much better than 'don't bring anything':D

fluffnutter

victory wrote: »

for xmas, for when we stay there, OH are debating what that actually means?

We are not doing presents this year, simples:D they have said, we have said, so that is perfectly clear but then you go into the mindfield of 'oh don't bring anything' I am taking a box of chocs that says Thank you on the boxing, was going to take champagne for the day but have been told no, then OH says 'is that all your taking?' so I added quality street tin and chocs to munch on but others have said 'why are you taking those, it's not as if they asked you to and they will probably have some there'

Can't win, now OH says have some presents wrapped up 'just in case' as he doesn't want to be embarrased, jeez might as well just bring it all:eek:

So, when people say for a xmas stay ' oh don't worry, don't bring anything, do they actually mean absolutely nothing or just a bit of something?':rotfl::D

I'd take nothing and make sure I write a really nice thank you card afterwards. If people say 'bring nothing' and then feel resentful when their guests arrive empty-handed, it's absolutely their own fault for being passive-aggressive.

Don't second guess people, it's just perpetuates obtuse behaviour. 'Bring nothing' should be taken as precisely that.

Kynthia

Whenever someone is hosting I would always take something as a sign of appreciation, but nothing too much like a present if you've agreed no gifts. Ideal is something consumable that doesn't have to be used then but can if needed. So as others have said, fancy biscuits, chocolates, wine/champagne/spirits, flowers, etc. I'm not into flowers but would love a treat that I maybe wouldn't buy myself like marzipan fruits, amaretto biscuits, colourful macarons or a selection box from Hotel Chocolate, etc.

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't even think that's control freaky. I think if thoughts gone into planning and someone brings something that throws the balance its rude tbh. That's why I take something non perishable that doesn't demand to be put out any time soon but can be out away for months (or even years depending on the bottle).


It seems to me that to take something rapidly perishable or for that evening only is as rude as turning up empty handed to me

That's so uncharitable!

People don't bring stuff to be rude, they bring it to show appreciation and gratitude. The world won't end if there's an extra cake or dip.

Netwizard

I'm another one where if I am told "Don't bring anything" then I don't.

I'm male. If you want me to bring something, just bloody well say so and don't play games!

pelirocco

FatVonD wrote: »

Are they control freaks, I ask because if I said don't bring anything I really mean don't bring anything.

I hate it if I've gone to a lot of trouble with food and then someone turns up with something extra :mad: Prime examples, a posh picnic, I had provided all the food including fresh cream cakes. Someone turned up with a Mr Kipling chocolate swiss roll thing that ruined my theme

Or when I've spent the morning marinading stuff for a BBQ and then someone brings a pack of kebabs from the supermarket.

I'll stop now

I'm glad i'm not the only one to think like that, I invited friends over and not only did she bring a starter she brought a pudding too!! ( i had spent hours preparing the dinner , didnt do a starter as there wold have been a timing issue with main course :mad: )

By the same token wine can be a minefield , and if youve been told not to bring any , then dont


Flowers plus importantly a nice vase , so the host doesnt have to hunt one down can be a nice touch

the best gift is probably an invite back to yours to repay the kindness