Please help. Really struggling.

paulineb_2

All sexual activity out with a heterosexual marriage is wrong? Seriously? People believe this? You aren't supposed to have sex unless you are married?

What if you don't want to get married. Or if you've never been married? You're not supposed to have sex?

I actually think that Christian or not, there must be some room for having your own view about sex before marriage. Or sex if you aren't married. Same as gay people having sex ( thankfully people who are gay can marry now)

Are people supposed just to believe what their church teaches them and that's it?

Sad if that's the case in my view. Particularly as so many marriages fail and many people end up in marriages that are less than happy.

bugslet

Billie-S wrote: »

This is what is bothering me somewhat, How looking at horoscopes and suchlike (like the tarot or witchy and wizardy type stuff) is frowned upon. (As WELL as people who don't believe, and gay people.) I struggle with trying to 'get' how people who claim to be good people (ie; Christians) can be so judgemental towards others, and like I said, I WANT to worship and go to Church sometimes, but it's hard with people like this. Then again, not EVERYONE is like this, so it's so hard! ARGH!

No it isn't. You have a a version ( don't mean that rudely) of Christianity that you are happy with, it's a milder version than the Church you are going to has, therefore you just need to find a church where you feel that the beliefs of the rest of the congregation are more in line with yours and you will then feel more accepted and happier.

FWIW, I'm a happy atheist, I just think you have to do the best you can in this world, try not to hurt others, help out where you can, which is surely the central tenet of any religion.

Good luck

19lottie82

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Have you considered looking at the Humanist movement?

There are wacky branches of that as well............ trust me!

shegirl

Judi wrote: »

Not quite



So if your not in Christ Jesus, your stuffed!

And if you are in Jesus,he's stuffed...:rotfl:

Sorry,bad taste but couldn't resist:o

DigForVictory

Last I looked, the Christian faith practised a mix of public worship & private prayer. I drop in on churches trying to find one I feel at home in for the former, but the latter is ticking along just fine.

Quakers? Well, yes, better declare that I was shifted as a child from C of E to Quakers & if you think this board can get a bit rowdy & argumentative, trust me when I say a roomful of Quakers can be just as rowdy & qurrelsome when the quiet is over. They are however scrupulously tolerant en masse (even if individuals might find it more of a stretch) & if you show en haute Goth you will be just as welcome as if you show up in twinset & pearls, so feel free to enjoy what is of help to you.

Keep on church hopping - and don't be distressed if you feel right at home with one most weeks but just can't enjoy it for Easter or Christmas - where echoes of what you're used to and seeking to restore are missing. It isn't worth being "loyal" to a church which sends you home prickly with frustration & not relaxed & reassured that all's right with the world at the big events (where I reckon I need the most solace & support)!

If you can find a tickover place, to get the public worship in, that's a huge relief & improvement on feeling judged & somewhat persecuted.

Who has the best parties? At University, hands down it was CathSoc - mostly as they were all serenely certain that they could binge tonight & do their atonement tomorrow & thus they really knew how to have a good time. But that worked fine for devout & somewhat sozzled late teens - you may prefer a slightly less inebriated faith gathering...

There's nothing wrong with searching. It's the giving up that hurts more longterm.

kat360

My husband is a Christian and I am pagan. I respect his views and he respects mine. He worships on his own, in his own way because he had problems with a few of the views. ( mainly the homosexuals are evil thing).
I honestly think that you should be able to believe what you want to believe and do what you want to do. If you aren't excepted for your views then I'd find somewhere where they are.

System

Don't get me started on womens headcovering/submission and divorcing an unbeliever cause i'll be on all day.

Having said that, I think honouring the 10 commandments is a good base for life.... It just happens that I fall short on almost all of them.:o

Errata

All sexual activity out with a heterosexual marriage is wrong? Seriously? People believe this? You aren't supposed to have sex unless you are married?

I doubt all the vicars, ministers, pastors and other assorted leaders belieive it - they will all have copped a quick grope of a sexual nature on an welcoming bosom.

System

Errata wrote: »

I doubt all the vicars, ministers, pastors and other assorted leaders belieive it - they will all have copped a quick grope of a sexual nature on an welcoming bosom.

Well they ought to, since they promote it.

nimbo

Hi,

it sounds like you are going to the wrong church(es). my partner is a christian at an 'older' looking stone church, and all of the congregation (well the ones I have met anyway) are lovely.

I helped out at tea morning, and at the summer fete event. none of them mind that we are not married and living together, and they have never preached that they think homosexuality is wrong (at least in my partners, or MIL's hearing and she's been going there for most of her life)...

some of the older folks are 'stuck in their ways' - but at 70 I think they are allowed to be.... They were horrified at my jam entry for the show, but I'll upset them even more next year when I make raspberry curd, and enter it in the lemon curd category (can't wait to see their faces)... To be fair this all started when I decorated a cupcake, and because I hadn't been told the rules (the 'toppings' were provided by the church) I had in fact 'cheated... half the women thought it was hilarious that i had put my name, and age (30 and a 1/4), and then written disqualified on the name tag - the others thought I was trying to bring down the house of God one cupcake at a time.... (i'm being facetious I'm sorry, but the bigotries i see at the church aren't about the big things, they're are about how to make a perfect Victoria sponge)...

i think religion is a personal thing, and that if you don't want to put up with the bigotry then this church isn't the place to go to... the women sound as though they have alot to work through. try a few other churches, and if you can't find one that 'fits' then just keep ties at one for the big festivals, and Christmas events if you want to.

i hope you find a church that works for you, and shares your more open and non judgmental views. xxxx