Please help. Really struggling.

Caroline_a

My mother was very religious, went to church every Sunday without fail (C of E) and took me as a child. I was bored and stopped going as soon as became feasible. During the time my mother was alive the church had many different vicars, most of whom came and guzzled sherry/scotch with alacrity as often as they could get away with it. My father was an atheist and enjoyed the banter and debates, often playing 'devil's advocate' to see how these half drunk vicars would react!

What I saw, though, growing up, and also as an adult, was that many people used 'going to church' or 'being a Christian' as something to hide behind. So, for example, the Catholic priests who abused children in their care hid behind their religion as being untouchable. In smaller ways I saw members of my mother's church pick on people and ostracise others with the front of 'they aren't our sort of religious person', etc.

When my mother became ill and could no longer go to church it was very sad to see that the people who attended the church that she had supported for 30+ years couldn't even be bothered to call in to see how she was. How sad, that Christianity for those people was about religion and not about charity and kindness to their fellow man. I have never set foot in that church since, I prefer to try to be someone who is kind and supporting to those who need it, and to use my judgement rather than an interpreted doctrine as to who is worthy of consideration and who is not.

Lunar_Eclipse

Torry_Quine wrote: »

The Christian belief that this church and I follow believes that all sexual activity outwith a heterosexual marriage is wrong.

You are right, although I personally think this is one of the main things that doesn't help the Church today, mainly because it gets blown out of proportion.

I also think it's a good time to remember that according to the Bible, we are all still children of God and He never turns his back on any of us.

System

Errata wrote: »

I suspect it's an amazingly empty place.

No because

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Just telling it as the bible sees it. Not saying I agree with it. I had 'issues' myself with interpreting what the bible says.

Errata

Well, if that ^^^ happens to everyone it would seem they can pretty much do as they please during their time on planet earth.

tea_lover

Just wanted to add another perspective. I'm a Christian and attend a CofE church. I've been going to this one for abour 2 years, since we moved house. I've never felt more welcomed and accepted in my life.

I live with (not married) my aethiest partner, and we're both divorced. We've both been made to feel extremely welcomed and never once felt judged about anything. My OH doesn't attend church but knows lots of the people there now and they always stop and say hello when they see him. Some of my friends there know we're going through fertility treatment and they've been a great help through a very difficult time.

The church is very open and accepting of all - married, single, living together, gay, straight, young, old, etc. It also has great links with other religious and community organisations around the town (not just Christian ones).

This may not be much consolation OP, but I wanted you to know that there are churches which are welcoming and non-judgemental, and I sincerely hope that you can find yourself in one of these soon.

paulineb_2

Now that to me is what Christianity should be about. My view is people don't choose to be gay, they are who they are. And it's hard enough for people to come out without anyone deciding that what they do in bed is not right.

It's the 21st century !!!!!!.

seven-day-weekend

I feel for the OP and can only say that churches are made up of people, and that not all people, even Christian ones, are very nice.

I am a Christian in a lovely friendly, welcoming and inclusive church, and whilst we might have views on particular topics, no-one would be turned away or made to feel bad because of thinking differently. Hopefully you would come to understand and learn through the teaching and general ethos in the church why some things are classed as a no-go area for Christians, like the occult, although it would remain entirely your choice what you did about it. If you wanted advice on 'iffy' things, people would help you and counsel and pray with you, they would not be judgemental and unfriendly over it.

How often you come to church is between you and God, although of course if you don't come very often some church members may enquire if it is because you have any problems and offer help if you want it. They certainly shouldn't be judgemental about anything!

You could try talking to the church leader about your feelings, but if that is no help, then all I can suggest is that you try other churches until you find one you feel happy with. Do remember though that no church is perfect because it is made up of imperfect people.

Which area of the country do you live in?

System

Errata wrote: »

Well, if that ^^^ happens to everyone it would seem they can pretty much do as they please during their time on planet earth.

Not quite

Romans 8: 1-2

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

So if your not in Christ Jesus, your stuffed!

Errata

I'm stuffed anyway, one of my minor hobbies is slandering the neighbours.

paulineb_2

I want to do my neighbours serious harm. Just as well I'm a non believer. I don't btw. You'd have to know them to know why I feel like that.

Think shameless, Scottish style.