Paid to Breastfeed: would it have encouraged you to do it?

poet123

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

nodiscount wrote: »

I must admit I felt very guilty when I failed to carry on bf after 3 weeks but at least I tried. It is not mothers like me who should feel guilty it's the ones can haven't even bothered trying who should feel guilt.

nodiscount wrote: »

Why? Not even bothering or attempting to breastfeeding is shameful!

I tried for three weeks and gave up because I was exhausted and everyone was discouraging me but at least I tried.

There is a stark difference between trying to bf and not being able to and not even bothering at all.

There was a programme the other day featuring young pregnant girls. All of them said they would definitely not bf. They weren't even going to bother to try. One of them even said 'boobs are only for sex'. Very stupid and sad.

nodiscount wrote: »

I don't believe I said that did I?
I bottle fed too so I hardly think I would have contempt for myself.
I said it looks like selfishness. Not the same as having contempt.

You also said all of the above;) and thanked every post by Moneysavingmama who did say she held those who didn't attempt breastfeeding in contempt.

seven-day-weekend

I do/have breastfed - I would have carried on whether the money was offered or not

I breastfed for three weeks and hated it. Depite this, if I had not had the excuse of a breast abscess to give it up, I would have continued, believing it to be the right thing for my son.
#
However, as others have said, I could have done with a bit more support. I was not at all helped by other (well-meaning ) mothers telling me how wonderful it was and that it was the loveliest part of their lives, when all I felt was very anxious and de-personalised. Someone to help me through these negative feelings and re-assure me that my son wasn't starving would have really helped.

When I got the breast abscess I was delighted for the excuse to put him on the bottle. Money would not have made any difference to my decision, more support almost certainly would have done.

I don't see why more money should help; breastfeeding is free!

I totally agree that if the mother is not happy breastfeeding, for whatever reason, even if she does not want to 'give it a go', then that is fine and both mother and baby will be happier than a if there is a stressed, anxious or resentful mum breastfeeding because other people think she should.

DigForVictory

I couldn't breastfeed for medical/personal reasons

I had a rough first delivery, and when back on the ward was told, no explanation given, not to breastfeed.
In the next 24 hours, I had a lot of help from baffled nurses with cupfeeding so the baby didn't learn to use a teat & eventually the news filtered back that my anticonvulsants would be in the breast milk & would definitely harm my baby's neurological development.

So, I never breastfed, felt utterly clobbered about it & now would have to watch another woman being given vouchers for doing something she probably means to do anyway that I wanted to do and was instructed not to do.

Instead use the money to support breastfeeding by employing more help for those allowed to & struggling with breastfeeding - the reward of knowing you are doing the very best thing you can for your child Should Be reward enough.

kat360

I couldn't breastfeed for medical/personal reasons

I physically can't breastfeed, I don't produce any milk at all. I tried with my first and felt a complete and utter failure. I was told at one point that I wasn't trying hard enough! I think that it should be put into support but not only for breastfeeding. Support for any feeding!

I hate that mums are so divided about this, I don't think it should matter how you feed your children but that baby is happy and healthy. Happy babies mean happy mums! I think we should just except the fact that everyone raises their child in their own way and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

I don't think that you should be ashamed about how you feed your child, I support breastfeeding in public!:T

sacha28

I couldn't breastfeed for medical/personal reasons

I was unable to BF, I had carpal tunnel in BOTH hands and had to wear splints up until my ds was 11 weeks old. If I wore the splints I couldn't get him in a decent position for him to latch on and if I took the splints off then both of my arms went numb from finger tips to elbows and I would have dropped him. He was BF for the 12 hours I was in hospital as they assigned an MCA to hold my ds in position for the whole feed. Needless to say, I couldn't take her home with me. I tried when I got home but ended up going to a 24 hour Asda for formula after about 8 hours. I felt more guilty for starving my son then I did moving onto formula. Breast is best is great, when it works.

This is just another way of making mothers that are unable to BF feel ashamed for their 'failings'.

nodiscount

I couldn't breastfeed for medical/personal reasons

poet123 wrote: »

You also said all of the above;) and thanked every post by Moneysavingmama who did say she held those who didn't attempt breastfeeding in contempt.

The above does not indicate contempt for those who don't try breastfeeding though does it.

Maybe it's just semantics but I don't see how saying they should feel guilty and saying it smacks of selfishness is akin to holding in contempt.;)

poet123

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

nodiscount wrote: »

The above does not indicate contempt for those who don't try breastfeeding though does it.

Maybe it's just semantics but I don't see how saying they should feel guilty and saying it smacks of selfishness is akin to holding in contempt.;)

Maybe it is semantics, but you also thanked MM who said that quite clearly.

In any event, the language you used is judgemental in the extreme for an activity which produces perfectly health babies the world over.

It could be that scratching the surface of your life and the lives of other posters who hold similar views, might produce issues which others might view as very much more harmful to a child than bottle feeding. Who knows?;)

MoneySavingMamma

I do/have breastfed - I would have carried on whether the money was offered or not

Just an update, not sure why I am bothering as opinions have already been made about me, without really reading what I have been trying to say.

I also think my feelings are more of strong annoyance, rather than contempt, I perhaps should have thought carefully at my choice of words.

I have given birth, possibly the most traumatic birth of the 3 & i went into shock after. First BF went great, 2nd day not great as despite both sides being given, she seemed upset after, so I tried syring feeding formula, so as not to confuse 'latching' as they say giving a bottle can lose a baies abulity to breast feed? Anyway she guzzled this down at such a rate I could tell she was nowhere near satified by me. I think what I've been through has had an effect on my milk supply.
Next feed both sides, followed by a bottle, again, guzzled.
Night feeds again, topped up by a FF after BF.
This morning milk seems to be there, so BF & she wasn't interested in bottle, then after lunch feed broke a blood blister on nip & alot of blood!

Not looking great for BF being successful, going to pump after dinner as kinder to skin, and see if they can heal & I can go back to mostly BF.

Hopefully here you can see I completely understand the struggles of BF, I have already had to FF, and will weigh up each day as it comes to determine what is best for baby & me.

I have to say she is a hell of alot happy after the succesful BF, no wind, sick, etc just calm & content.
But after bottle feeds, theres burps, wiggles, sick & settling, so she seems to prefer the speed etc of breast feeding to a bottle.

This is the earliest I have ever offered any of mine a bottle. And I know I don't seem to have many cheering for me on this thread, I wish myself luck on successfully BF for a few weeks. If not, so what! I gave it a shot ;-)

Nicki

I do/have breastfed - I would have carried on whether the money was offered or not

Congratulations on your new arrival moneysavingmamma. Don't beat yourself up either about this thread or about a few mls of formula at this stage. If BF is what you want to do, I hope the blister heals soon and all works out for you.

poet123

I don't/haven't breastfed - no I wouldn't have done it

Congratulations on your new arrival and I hope you manage to feed according to your needs/babies needs.