Online Dating Tips - official discussion thread

System

purpleshoes wrote: »

I think I gave up a long time ago:rotfl:

Its seriously not easy to be 40 something and single, well it is in the respect that that's my life and I'm absolutely ok with it.

Dating is harder.

I'm currently nearing 30 and finding that scary enough so you have my sympathies

I'd pretty much resigned myself to being a crazy cat lady I have the crazy part sorted I just need some cats now lol

purpleshoes_2

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I'm currently nearing 30 and finding that scary enough so you have my sympathies

I'd pretty much resigned myself to being a crazy cat lady I have the crazy part sorted I just need some cats now lol

Ive no issue with my age. Im quite happy being 40 something (46).

Ive no issue being single either. Just that when people meet me they say, you are attractive, intelligent, you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone. Thats not the way it is.

My experience has been that the men Ive met or spoken to have had a lot of baggage. People who are lonely and have wanted to meet me the day they sent me the first message, like anyone will do.

I saw a post on another thread where someone said that it was sad that another poster had written themselves off. Ive never done that, ever. Im not high maintenance. As I said before Ive only ever wanted to start with going for a drink with someone, but that's not what has been on offer.

Its been too much too soon or people who have just been liars, or just downright unhinged.

I ended a 7 year relationship that was making me miserable and Ive been single since. Still fine with being single, but when another poster said recently all you need to do is go out and about and put yourself out there and dating won't be that hard, it has been that hard for me. I have a good social life, I go out lots, but in the last year Ive been asked out by 3 people, none of them have been ready to date, for one reason or another they just wanted someone.

One guy asked about 15 people after me in 6 months before he met someone who he clicked with.

Some people do just want to be with anyone, or want to go out with someone to get over their ex.

My view is, Ive done enough disastrous dating in my 20s and 30s, Im not putting myself up for more in my 40s, it has to be fairly easy going and low maintenance or its not worth having and those aren't the kind of people Ive met.

The last guy I dated was on POF the entire time we were together, showing as being single, some people really do want their cake and to eat it as well.

amistupid

MSE has created a few marriages, it's probably destroyed a few as well.

bigheadxx

All interesting stuff! I tried Tinder, thats pretty horrendous. PoF is better but you need to get your profile right. Its a womans world really, most women claim to want to meet a "nice guy" etc but end up choosing the players! Women get 100's of messages, men will get a few especially if you are average looking! That is why a good profile and the maximum number of images in different, flattering situations is the key to male success.

Use recent photos, if you are 6/7 looks wise and she is a 5/6 she will she be disappointed if you are ten years older than your profile pics. Dont go over the top with your first message. Common advice is to pick something on her profile and ask about that. My advice is dont bother. Ask about movie/music interests, something bland just to ensure you show up in her inbox. If she finds you attractive she will usually message back. If she doesnt, she wont anyway and you havent wasted all that time pouring over her profile for a topic!

Leave any sex talk out of the conversation until you have agreed a date and only is she starts aex talk. Its a good idea to get a phone number, send her your number and hopefully she will start texting you.

1. Desperate
2. Third date sex
3. Just friends
4. Curious
5. Slappers
6. Player magnet

If you are lucky you will get plenty of 2's!

catoutthebag

Huh? Where's the advice on 'sex talk' come from? You make out that it's somehow part of the dating agenda or menu? Quite strange way of thinking. You can tell you're a seasoned pof user and it's why I stopped using that (and all other free chavvy sites). Sex happens. Usually naturally and instinctively. No 'talk about sex'. And I'm a bloke - romance is dead I can see.

bigheadxx

catoutthebag wrote: »

Huh? Where's the advice on 'sex talk' come from? You make out that it's somehow part of the dating agenda or menu? Quite strange way of thinking. You can tell you're a seasoned pof user and it's why I stopped using that (and all other free chavvy sites). Sex happens. Usually naturally and instinctively. No 'talk about sex'. And I'm a bloke - romance is dead I can see.

About 4 weeks and a handful of dates. You misunderstand what I mean.

davenorwich

just to say theres an error on the dating guide **edit I cant post the link to it due to anti spam rules lol, but the title is "Free Dating Sites - 20 tips to help you date online for less " ** recently decided to try online dating again (had a bad experience that put me off a while back) and looked for a guide and found this one.
I liked the look of the happn app, its a cool concept but its far from free, you get 10 tokens, if you like a lass you press the charm button (this costs a token) tokens are £1.49 for 10, now granted you are not going to be liking every girl you see on there but your also not going to find a match too quickly.

SanguineSteve

Is Tinder real?

I mean, I have had one, maybe two interactions with what I (perhaps naively) assume to be humans.

It seems 99% of the matches are some kind of spam-bot who immediately wants me to 'join them' on some other chat site.

Who knows, maybe they REALLY do?

AngelicMatch.com

Hi, we've just launched a new, free online dating website, and while there aren't many members yet, we're hoping that the features we've developed will help people find their perfect match.

There's no fake profiles, no charges to delete your account, and all personally identifiable data is highly encrypted.

It truly is a free website to join and use —and while paid members get access to a few extras, we don't charge members to read or respond to e-mails from other members etc.

You can find out more at AngelicMatch.com, and we'd love to have our site reviewed!

2016Ajay

one tip:
don't pay for dating sites.

I've used various subscription sites (e.g. Match.com and single parent sites) but would only recommend POF, which is free.
my experience has been (and this has been confirmed by people that I've met or spoken to) that anyone that uses Match also uses POF.

there are married people, fake profiles and timewasters on subscription sites, so they are no better than free sites.
also, you have no time pressure on free sites. you can use it as often, or as little as you choose.

Good luck!