Advice Re. American Citizenship ~ Complicated

claire16c

A $20 tablet? Lol!

All she needs to do is look at US amazon for real prices.

A US cable company accepting money each month from a UK bank??

Sorry but she sounds like a mug.

Icequeen99

gravitytolls wrote: »

Thanks Sparkly. No idea what state, nor does his mother. She only knows they moved from a warm state to a cold state.

She's not internet savvy at all, in fact she's never used any sort of device ever.

How can that be true if you said she has his address in a later post? Therefore she does indeed know the State he is living in.

IQ

Gingernutty

gravitytolls wrote: »

She's sent money in an envelope (she does have his address), didn't arrive (apparently), she's put it in his UK bank account, but his card was used fraudulently (in America, lots of small payments made in New York ~ she showed me the statement detailing the fraudulent withdrawals/payments as he contacted the fraud department of his bank).

What? Like he was on holiday, or something?

The money was refunded, then 'taken back' again, apparently.

That's what happens after an investigation and the bank finds there was no fraud.

She's paid hs rent, cable, internet for months. She told him she couldn't pay his cable any more (£40 PM!!!). He said he needed her card details to cancel the payment and transfer to his bank card. She said she'd never heard of that before, but he said it was an American thing.

When £290 had left her account, the bank manager told her to contact the company and tell them t was used without her permission. She did so, got her money back, and instructed them not to accept any payment from anyone other than herself.

Hurrah, I hope she's getting tough now.

Some hope.

I know it sounds trollish, it would be if it were posted on here, she's mid sixties, not sure exactly, she's cagey. She's not stupid, she's savvy enough to manager her money and look after her dogs and herself, but I think she's spent her whole life bailing out her lad and he's come to expect it, with no thought to her.

She received a tablet this week, so she could skype him and see the grandchildren. He enclosed instructions, he's set it all up for her. When she first told me he intended to get her one, she said she told him she'd rather he spent the money on paying rent. He told her they're only about $20 over there!

American tech rarely, if ever works over here. If it does work, it may well be built for the British market.

Have you seen it? What brand is it?

Anyhoo, it's here now, she can't use it, but I imagine his plan is that seeing the children will tug on her heart strings.

She's being milked by a lying, cheating toad of a fraudster who's prepared to use emotional blackmail to con money out of his own mother.

He's helping himself to the contents of her bank account and I'm still not even sure he's not in this country.

Report this to social services or elder abuse. This is disgusting.

coolcait

gravitytolls wrote: »

Thanks Sparkly. No idea what state, nor does his mother. She only knows they moved from a warm state to a cold state.

....

gravitytolls wrote: »

She's sent money in an envelope (she does have his address), ...

As Icequeen99 has pointed out, the story is starting to unravel.

The question now is "Who is the storyteller?"

Is it you, gravity? Or is it your friend?

If you are faithfully reporting the things you are being told by your friend, didn't the bits in bold make you hesitate for a minute?

If your friend is spinning this tale to you, she must be getting something out of it. Something more than a free cake from a charity bakesale.

She's clearly getting attention, and the opportunity to feed off your emotional reactions. Is she also getting material support from you?

You are sharing with us a tale which is clearly fabricated, and which grows more fabrications by the day.

If you don't feel able to say "I know that you are sharing things that you have been told by another - but I'm afraid that it is all nonsense, and has a few contradictions", then find a way to protect yourself from being drawn into the attention-seeking drama.

(If you think your friend may be suffering from dementia or similar, consider who you might share those concerns with).

Other than that, following my own advice, I'm out.

harrys_nan

There is definitely something fishy going on here and I think that either you or your friend is being taken for a fool, not sure who though.
Do you help your friend out with money at all?
I'm about the same age as your friend and I wouldn't fall for these tall stories.
If she is telling you the whole truth then you need to get her some help in order for her to sort this out, ie age uk.

Errata

The woman is someone you work with, you may be friendly but little more than that. If you want to give yourself earache listening to her shaggy dog stories then that's your choice; there's nothing in her tales of woe that bears even a glancing relationship with reality. Nothing you can say and nothing you can do will make one iota of difference, other than suggesting she sees her GP.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

sorry this doesn't add up or make an ounce of sense in the slightest.

if she's savvy she'd realize this.

she can run house look after her dogs but not pay for a 20p cake.

if she was savvy she'd know an android tablet is more than $20.00us

claire16c

Maybe he was on holiday in New York funded by his mum.

Picked himself up an extra iPad for a few hundred whilst he was there.

[Deleted User]

With the story that it cost $20.., I personally would assume he's lying that he paid for it at all and its stolen.

This is kindof an atypical abusive relationship.., but I'm afraid it takes two to form this sort of relationship (speaking from experience here). Someone has to agree to be a victim.., and she's not going to get out of it til she's ready to.., if ever.

I don't mean this in a judgmental way.., but as we are all aware, there are enough red flags flying here to make an airship. She's choosing to ignore them. You can't undo that unless she wants you to.

I'd suggest counselling.., I'm sure she's had plenty of people say the same things you are.., its very complex and she needs someone with some skill at unravelling these situations and getting her to peer above the wall she's got.

Voyager2002

I agree that this sounds like an abusive relationship...

To respond to the original question, it might be helpful if you could tell her the following (which is completely true):

There is a way in which her son could resolve his immediate problems and be together with his family in a place where he can earn a living. Under EU law he has an absolute right to live and work in any EU country (apart from the UK), together with his family: and that includes his non-EU wife. Both Spain and Italy have many opportunities for native English speakers to teach English. In particular, living costs in Spain are very low: in smaller cities like Lleida it is easy to find a family-sized apartment for less than Euro 500 per month, and there are plenty of students willing to pay for English conversation or classes. So there is really no need for him remain broke and in fear in the USA.