Advice before it gets worse, first year student

~Chameleon~

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

Have not described it all Jacques.

Definition of bullying::use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something.

Exactly what has happened to me regarding this lecturer..

She is the course leader, and, as my DSA came late, report only on 1 November, they are unaware of my problems, but that does not make it right for her ignorance.

Student support are helping me.

It could well be that she's feeling a bit put out that you haven't approached her to explain your DSA. My tutor did the same to me and another student at the end of one of her lectures in our first year. She was also very rude about us using a recording device during lectures without asking permission.

We'd assumed all lecturers were made aware of any specific needs we had but it seems not. I'm fairly certain this is why she needs to see you. I'd also approach all your other lecturers too to explain your needs. Take your mentor along for support if you feel anxious about this. Good luck

Dunroamin

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

As my DSA assessment only came through on the 1st November, she has obviously no idea how she has exacerbated my anxiety, as in the rudeness of her emails, supported by student support services.

Rude, aggressive and condescending, without prior thought or evidence as to why you treat a person in that way- that is bullying.

It may be poor communication skills but what you've described, even if true, really isn't bullying.

Can you give any specific examples?

duchy

Often academics have poor communication skills -stop taking things so personally and jumping to conclusions and go see the woman . By all means take your support worker with you -it is entirely appropriate. Bear in mind if your DSA assessment only came through a week ago she may not be aware of all (or indeed any) of the details. Administration depts at some unis are shocking.

What you describe doesn't sound like bullying to me either though -getting to the point is not bullying -it's just getting to the point. Many tutors are employed for their academic skills not their pink fluffiness. Go TALK to her adult to adult !!

duchy

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

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We'd assumed all lecturers were made aware of any specific needs we had but it seems not. I'm fairly certain this is why she needs to see you. I'd also approach all your other lecturers too to explain your needs. Take your mentor along for support if you feel anxious about this. Good luck

This....

Unis aren't like schools or colleges - you need to take responsibility for making sure each lecturer knows of any particular circumstances....In an ideal world they'd know....in the real world - they usually don't.

SlimmingSusan

Thanks all for your advice. I don't think it ois bullying now, just over-reacted.

I do' however, not like the tone of her emails, the fact she will not even let me know what it is about, so that I can be prepared. My disability advisor in Student Support Services is getting ignored when trying to find out for me what this is about.

I am more than happy to see her adult to adult, but I am not happy in being treated as if I am at school, and not an adult, who is doing the work, getting the grades, and has a lot of things going on, which have now calmed down, but which have made my very condition worse, as has the way this lady has treated me.

I had a sleepless night last night- and have no wish to spend 3 more nights the same, before her even letting me know what this is about.

I have been looking at the Equality Act 2010 this morning, and this seems to amount to harassment under that act.

All she needs to do is let me know what it is about- that is all I am asking.

jacques_chirac

You don't think it is bullying but now you think it is harassment? You need to stop over thinking this. The university are expected to take into account your disability related needs, but they are certainly not expected to pander to you.

Reasonableness goes two ways, and at the moment your expectations are unreasonable.

~Chameleon~

jacques_chirac wrote: »

You don't think it is bullying but now you think it is harassment? You need to stop over thinking this. The university are expected to take into account your disability related needs, but they are certainly not expected to pander to you.

Reasonableness goes two ways, and at the moment your expectations are unreasonable.

I quite agree. I've found my tutors and lecturers to be nothing but supportive when I've been in a crisis and some have bent over backwards to help with extending deadline dates, individual tutorials etc.

University is completely different to school/college. We are expected to take full responsibility for our studies. They don't spoonfeed you but give the basics via lectures for you to then go away and read up on yourself.

I suggest you use your mentor more, as well as the student support. You're only a few weeks in so stop panicking and everything will sort itself out.

SlimmingSusan

I am not asking to be 'spoonfed', indeed that is what I love about the course.

I do overthink, panic, and go into self protect mode- as that is part of my condition.

And I am fully aware that lectures are just a taster of subjects to read up in in my first year.

This is my whole point, it should be student-led study, not to be treated like a child.

This lecturer has exacerbated my condition, which means I have been unable to concentrate today, and therefore have only done half the study I planned, as my concentration is horrendous today- part of my condition.

All she needed to tell me was the reason for the meeting.

Having a PHD does not exclude you from normal decency and etiquette.

jacques_chirac

If she tells you what the meeting is about, how is that going to make it better? You still cannot do anything until you see her. She may not be telling you because she is concerned it will make you worse.

You are coming across like a child. The lecturer has not exacerbated your condition, you have. If you know that you over think and panic, that is something for you to work on - speak to your support worker about coping mechanisms to deal with this. It is not for others to change because of you - and I speak as someone that has the same type of problems as yourself.

Person_one

Hang on, am I reading this right?

Your lecturer has asked you to come to a meeting, and you think the fact that she hasn't told you exactly what its about is bullying?