Advice before it gets worse, first year student

SlimmingSusan

Cannot thank you all enough for your practical suggestions.

I am going to go back and read, and thank your suggestions individually. I have just had my DSA assessment a week ago, as my breakdown has been only recognised recently (another story)

You have all made me realise that my thinking is extreme, what is wrong with just getting through the first year and not wanting 70% in each task, which is how I'm conditioned.

I am trying to be kind to myself, and that is the only way forward:I'm not dropping out- no way.

Have just had an online chat room thingy with module leader, and realised how much more I am understanding. She even could rake out the people who were trying to use A-level stuff in this assignment, it really made me feel better.

amiehall

Good luck! Keep at it. Your first year is a great time to just enjoy learning and build up a solid foundation of knowledge for the future.

duchy

I'm also doing a social sciences degree and I'm a very mature student !
Maybe where I have a bit of an advantage is that I went to uni in my 30s but had to drop out due to family issues unrelated to the course.

First of all Social Science courses in general attract a fair number of older students -you don't need to "hang with the kids" unless you want to. Some of the "traditionally aged students on my courses are fantastic -others quite frankly are pains in the bum ......the older students are generally more focused -although the biggest PITA on the course is in his 40s or 50s so you can't generalize. At uni you aren't expected to just socialise with your own coursemates .....often students in halls are closest friends with those in their flat or block on entirely different courses ......Not quite so easy for students not "living in" but entirely possible.

Join societies .... I joined our Social Sciences society and last night had the most fun at a "spooky night" at a local historical site- the society paid for the entrance and as someone else there posted today she'd never laughed and screamed so much in equal measure- I'm looking forward to their future events and intend to make sure all my course mates who didn't go last night know how much fun they missed. Unis have societies for just about everything some have a mature student's society-that'd be a good one to join. I was threatening to set one up myself called "The Bucket List" society

If you find it hard to focus at home to study ...... Study at the uni -you don't have to leave when your lectures are over. I live 30 mins walk from my uni but study much more in the library as I find focusing easier without the distractions of home.

As for people asking how you are doing.......why do you assume asking how you are getting on means that they are expecting you to fail? Why couldn't they just be asking how it is going? People ask me that all thetime-I don't assume it means what you think. I take it at face value.

I think you need to stop worrying about the social side and focus on your studies - the social side will come with time and doesn't need you stressing over it. Keep in mind the primary reason to go to uni is to study.

And yes -you only need 40% to pass the first year and it doesn't count towards your final degree classification. Give yourself a break

(Oh and set your FB to "friends only" and be ruthless in unfriending anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself....You *know* it makes sense )

skipsmum

I'm in my final degree year, nearly 40, 2 kids, bi-polar, dyslexia, extra caring responsibilities, very little home support.

I am the only mature student on my course, everyone else was a school leaver and the same age as my eldest child. Socially the first year was hardest, but by year 2 all the unmotivated not-so-nice people had left and it settled down. I've got a few fellow students on my facebook (we use it to share ideas) but I'm wary of adding people and wait until I'm sure...I have also unfriended a couple! I'm mentoring two first years at the moment and they are both struggling to settle into the group dynamic, so I don't think its uncommon in the first term - especially when group projects cause a division!

I get on fine with the other students because we work hard together and help each other out, but it took a good few months before we were a cohesive unit.

Like other posters, I would recommend extending the uni day - now I'm a 3rd year I only have to go in twice a week, but I actually spend 4 full days there because its the only way to stop my family thinking I'm at home to do stuff for them!

It will get better - I cried every night of my first week because I felt so displaced - like a fish out of water. Now I just feel like I'm swimming against the tide, but I am making headway!

duchy

SlimmingSusan wrote: »

My daughter is also a 3rd yr doing her a dissertation on the same course, daren't tell her I'm feeling like this.

Think the mistake I've made is to try to fit in, and pretend I'm still young :rotfl:

There is fitting in and fitting in

I have NO intention of spending time at the SU (it's boring anyway we're the smaller of the two campuses and frankly they need a kick up the bum to do some proper promotions there) but there's lots of things unis over above studying.... Two of my course mates are doing a rock climbing taster session -neither will see forty again , there's a pub quiz coming up -apparently the lecturers join in and get a bit tipsy too and despite working for three years just around the corner from the Old Bailey I've never been inside...there's a trip upcoming to visit . I'm far more comfortable "doing things"rather than sitting and socializing ..... I even took a fellow first yer shopping - she'd not set foot off campus......and was thrilled when I showed her how to get to the local big town (and how to halve the bus fare with a student rate)

SlimmingSusan

Thanks to you all for amazing advice and support, with everything that has gone on in my life this year, I think I need to pat myself on the back that I'm halfway through the first semester, and not be so hard on myself, really good advice regarding focusing on my studies.

I've just got my first essay back today with great feedback and a 75% grade, so I really must not give up on this, Unfortunately that does not count towards this year's grade, just for feedback purposes, and there is a danger I will now put pressure on myself to get this kind of grade every time.

At least I know there's life in the old dog yet :j

time2save

Really good to hear about the 75% for the essay.

If others are in the situation of withdrawing, may I suggest you might want to look at a Access to HE course at your local college, if you felt you wanted to go back into HE. It is for people over 19 but many are mature adults and though it can be fast paced as it is a full time 1 yr course, it can be great to bring not only your confidence but level 3 skills back upto scratch.

Many local colleges do let you do the course part time and you can get a similar lone to pay the course fees. I think it's called 24 advanced loan (Need to be over 24 ).

It is paid and worked out similar to that of HE loans and is administered by SLC. I think to remember that if you completed the AtHE course and went to HE then your debt is wipped off. May need to look into this.


As a younger student, I do empathise of the difficulties you and others have with their own issues, possible caring responsibilities (though not a carer) and keeping up with HE work.

Might want to also look into foundation degrees like in the area you're interested at local colleges as they do run HE courses now adays.


Anyway take care.

time2save :A

fishybusiness

There is a certain element of one module, where it is a group task, and most of the group will do anything to slack, and I'm just getting anxious about it, as I do, but dare not speak up as I have had a lot of abuse from the younger generation, not at uni but in my personal life.

Slackers always happen with group work, especially with a mix of younger and older students. Try not to worry and do your bit. The younger ones in the group will probably do their work at the last minute. Doesn´t help you much, just expect it will happen.

Same happened to all the groups in my first year with group presentations -I´m one of the older ones, that liked things done in a timely fashion!

SlimmingSusan

fishybusiness wrote: »

Slackers always happen with group work, especially with a mix of younger and older students. Try not to worry and do your bit. The younger ones in the group will probably do their work at the last minute. Doesn´t help you much, just expect it will happen.

Same happened to all the groups in my first year with group presentations -I´m one of the older ones, that liked things done in a timely fashion!

Thanks Fishy, a big part of the mark is peer marking, and my main focus is not p******g them off, as know I can pull up on my essays and lab reports. I did not realise I had signed up to a module like this. It is almost a module which is trying to make us appropriate for work in the future, but it is hard for me, as have had been in a work environment many times in team meetings, so have to juggle not saying much, taking a backseat, which is no problem, but also trying to make sure the group are performing and not acting like my kids used to. I feel their annoyance, and the power struggle between them all, where I just stand back. This is the worse module of the whole course and causing me stress, as my anxiety is having a will of it's own, like something apart from me.

Am actually going to copy and keep this post, as it's come from my heart, and I need to show it to my DLA mentor, thanks for the trigger Fishy

Tryingagainandagain

You sound as though you are doing really well, so do try to be kind to yourself.

You have far more home responsibilities than many of the younger people.

You have health issues which will probably continue to make you doubt yourself.

You turned in an assignment and got 75% - a level which would get you a first class honours degree. :T

For some of your "classmates" it will be their first time away from home - they are probably a bit over-excited still and will calm down as the novelty wears off. After a while there will be more of a focus on the work you will all forget the age difference.

As someone has said, the slackers will eventually shape up or drop out and the workers will be left - without the disruption the nature of the group will change.

Stick with it - accept whatever help there is - but don't forget that this is something you can do.