Counselling is not doing any good! Not sure what to do.

pearl123

This is going to sound patronizing but it not meant to.
Walk and keep walking- it will boost your mental health, lifting your mood and take inches from your body. Sick of something - go for a walk.

Anoneemoose

pearl123 wrote: »

This is going to sound patronizing but it not meant to.
Walk and keep walking- it will boost your mental health, lifting your mood and take inches from your body. Sick of something - go for a walk.

Thank you. It isn't that easy unfortunately. My CFS means that quite often, any form of exercise leaves me so fatigued I have to take to my bed and I feel 'ill' - easiest way to describe it is like having 'flu. I love walking though and being in the fresh air.

Anoneemoose

paulineb wrote: »

Im confortable in a size 14, even at my thinnest Im certainly not tiny. Even at a small 16 I feel ok, but if Im bursting out a 16 or touching an 18, I start to look awful and I feel it. Im small as well so any extra weight, I dont carry it well.

I think you need to try and find how you can exercise and what you can do without it affecting your heath in any way. It would make all the difference

For me, exercise and healthy eating go hand in hand. I dont know what you can and cant do, even walking, some water based fitness classes or even doing exercise at home, lifting light weights or gentle aerobics. Or maybe a pilates type class, its fairly gentle but you still get a good workout from it.

You'll feel better as you get fitter and I think that also gives you an incentive to eat healthier as well.

I was always a size 12-14 and was so happy at that size. Even if I was 14, I would be content. I am currently an 18 and hate it. I feel like a character Matt Lucas played in Little Britain - the older lady at the health farm!

jazabelle

pearl123 wrote: »

This is going to sound patronizing but it not meant to.
Walk and keep walking- it will boost your mental health, lifting your mood and take inches from your body. Sick of something - go for a walk.

That's not possible with Fibromyalgia. It's constant pain in every part of your body, and severe fatigue. Getting out of bed, or having a shower can feel like a victory.

The Spoon Theory is a way to help understand.

I'm disabled myself, and find it hard with people constantly telling me to just exercise (and I'm an electric wheelchair user). I also don't have the energy to cook, so healthy meals are hard, and I often comfort eat due to the pain.

So there are some extra problems with disability and weight.

Anoneemoose

jazabelle wrote: »

That's not possible with Fibromyalgia. It's constant pain in every part of your body, and severe fatigue. Getting out of bed, or having a shower can feel like a victory.

The Spoon Theory is a way to help understand.

I'm disabled myself, and find it hard with people constantly telling me to just exercise (and I'm an electric wheelchair user). I also don't have the energy to cook, so healthy meals are hard, and I often comfort eat due to the pain.

So there are so me extra problems with disability and weight.

Thanks for this. I have never read the story behind spoons - just knew they were there!

I am lucky that my Fibro isn't as severe as some and I seem to manage the pain well. I sort of swap between fatigue being my 'main' symptom and then pain. But the spoon theory fits perfectly with how i have had to adapt. Also, with me being me, it is so difficult not to do as much as my mind wants to! I think a PP was sort of right with the perfectionism reference because, if I do the housework, I am not happy until it is all done. It has been difficult to try and change that mentality.

I am glad you mentioned about not cooking - I always think I might come across as if I am making excuses to get a takeaway!! But truth is, by the time I have done all the things I mentioned in a PP, I am literally good for nothing.

As I said though, I am lucky not to be as affected as some...I am just in the process of learning how to make sure I don't get worse.

jazabelle

Anoneemoose wrote: »

Also, with me being me, it is so difficult not to do as much as my mind wants to! I think a PP was sort of right with the perfectionism reference because, if I do the housework, I am not happy until it is all done. It has been difficult to try and change that mentality.

That is a very common personality type of people with chronic illness. Obviously I haven't surveyed everyone out there - but certainly being a perfectionist, pushing yourself beyond your limits, finding it hard to say no, seem to be very common!

poorly_scammo

OP, if you have deep seated issues considering your appearance, self-esteem etc. then two sessions won't have done much at all. I've had therapy and I had about 28 sessions some on the NHS, some private so I'd be either a) pushing for me from the doctor or b) finding another doctor and be pushing them. 'The squeaky wheel gets the oil'.

Re your husband's activities, I honestly wouldn't be thinking about him at all. You really need to be focusing on yourself and improving your self esteem. Apologies if this is wide of the mark.

If you're in West Yorkshire, I know of a therapist who specialises in body issues and weight etc. PM me.

Anoneemoose

Thanks again all!

I think I will go down the private route...I have been to the docs so much recently and tbh, I am fed up of being at the mercy of waiting lists and things not being 'right' for me. At least if I am paying, I can decide whether it is good enough so to speak. I know where I want to be and I am determined to get there.

Things are still a bit wobbly in the Anon house. My illness seems to be affecting my self esteem even more and I feel like such a burden. Also, DH boss has been poorly so guess who text her to see how she's feeling and "hope you don't think I'm being nosy"?!! And guess who replied "I like that you care enough to ask"? Whenever I mention any of my ailments, I get nothing, nada, zilch! Just a bit frustrating. Well actually it totally gets to me!

Anoneemoose

Just a vent.

I tried to talk to OH re: how badly the previous sessions have been and it's like he doesn't even hear me! He seems to have no interest in anything I tell him. Yet when I them mentioned that I would like to consider private counselling that costs, well he soon reacted then. Admittedly, he worries about not getting into debt again, as do I but really, should that be his first reaction when I try and tell him about how it might help me?

Further into the conversation, he admitted he doesn't think it would work as I've had counselling before and it didn't else I wouldn't need it now!!

Just so fed up....

Anoneemoose

I have booked a session with a private counsellor for next Thursday. Fingers crossed I get on well with her! I really, really hope I can work towards being happy in myself.

I am feeling very defeated at the moment after what I explained in my pps. I just sometimes think that OH is more of a hindrance than a help.

I know it can't be easy living with me and all of my ailments and issues but he's not always the easiest person either even though he reckons he is!!

Anyhoo - I shall see how I get on and hopefully can report some success soon(ish)!