Counselling is not doing any good! Not sure what to do.

Anoneemoose

Hi everyone.

I had a thread recently where I was concerned about my hubby's relationship with his boss and recognised I had no self esteem and body image issues.

I also mentioned in my thread that I had requested to be referred for counselling and had my consultation in August.

Well since then, I have only had 2 sessions with my next not being until the middle of November and this will be a 'recap' session. I am totally stumped really as we didn't actually 'do' much in the sessions apart from talk about the way the subconscious mind works (which I found very interesting) but it was no actual use in the sense that I don't know how to apply that to my circumstance.

The nearly didn't give me the sessions in the first place because my 'depression and anxiety score' on their tick sheet was not very high. I explained that I am on meds which means my anxiety and depression is under control but my self esteem and body image issues really affect my general happiness and marriage and I wanted to work through that. It really does affect my life. I feel so down when I look in the mirror and constantly compare myself to others.

The man who is doing the counselling is lovely but I don't feel like I have achieved anything at all. I am also a bit worried about saying anything because I don't know what to ask for!!

This is arranged through mind via my gp but am wondering if I might have to pay to get something decent now!

Fletchasketch

I don't really have much good advice, have never been to counselling. But I did find the daily emails I got from this site enormously helpful https://www.moodscope.com/ That and really good books to lose yourself in. Good luck.

pearl123

You've only had two sessions. Rome was not built in a day.

bagpussbear

I paid privately for counselling.

The first counsellor helped, I saw her weekly, but can't say she was 'right' for me.

I chose another counsellor who I bonded with quicker, and saw her weekly for about 9 months. Those sessions helped me enormously and I still draw on her words, advice and techniques to get me through bad times.

My initial reaction is you should see a counsellor weekly (or at least much more regularly than you have done), that you haven't given it much time and that sometimes you get one person that works so much better than another.

So don't give up hope. I would actually say to this counsellor exactly what you have told us - that you don't think its helping - and it might lead to conversation in a direction that actually helps more.

Anoneemoose

pearl123 wrote: »

You've only had two sessions. Rome was not built in a day.

I understand this but the counsellor suggested my next session would be my last! That's why I am disheartened.

Edited to say - I should have made this a bit clearer in my OP!

Anoneemoose

bagpussbear wrote: »

I paid privately for counselling.

The first counsellor helped, I saw her weekly, but can't say she was 'right' for me.

I chose another counsellor who I bonded with quicker, and saw her weekly for about 9 months. Those sessions helped me enormously and I still draw on her words, advice and techniques to get me through bad times.

My initial reaction is you should see a counsellor weekly (or at least much more regularly than you have done), that you haven't given it much time and that sometimes you get one person that works so much better than another.

So don't give up hope. I would actually say to this counsellor exactly what you have told us - that you don't think its helping - and it might lead to conversation in a direction that actually helps more.

Thanks. I have had counselling before and it has always been weekly and worked well. I thought this would be the same.

I can't really afford private but will try if it gets results. My low self esteem will probs make it difficult for me to mention it to him but I shall try!!

paulineb_2

Any counselling Ive ever had on the NHS has been 6 sessions max.

Its not for everyone and you might need to look around to find someone who does work well with you.

meritaten

Simple, at the recap session you ask the name of the counsellors boss if you don't already know it.
You say that you don't think 2 sessions are enough as although you have learned a lot about abstract issues you haven't even scratched the surface of YOUR problems.
You request more sessions and that those are with a different counsellor. You follow this up with a phone call to the manager or co-ordinator (whatever their job title is), to say the same. Two sessions and a recap when you haven't touched upon your problems? I find that really bizarre!
Oh, I have trained as a counsellor in the basic courses because I worked as a volunteer for a charity - but perhaps they do counselling differently these days?




Don't say this - but, I am wondering what the hell the counsellor is playing at! you don't need a lecture! or education. and two sessions without mention of you or your problems...............Well!

pearl123

Anoneemoose wrote: »

I understand this but the counsellor suggested my next session would be my last! That's why I am disheartened.

Edited to say - I should have made this a bit clearer in my OP!

If the counselling sessions are so short, maybe they don't realise the full extent your problems. I suggest you let them know of your concerns. Maybe they can extend your counselling to give you more. Give them a ring maybe.

Molly41

Private counselling should be means tested or at least those with a compassionate outlook should be. I have had counselling for about 3 years and now go roughly every other week. It has saved my life - literally - and enables me to cope with very difficult issues. It is by its nature a difficult and ongoing process so please dont give up x

I have a very good relationship with my counsellor and trust him implicitly so would suggest you look around ?

Meanwhile I also like the Moodcope emails x

ETA - if the sessions are time limited then perhaps the counsellor is deliberately not delving too deep. There is no point opening a pandoras box of emotions and pain for him to have to call time on the sessions - leaving you feeling even worse than you went in x

FBaby

I don't see how you could learn to boost your self-esteem in two or three session, even less if what you talked about is your subconscious.

What you would probably benefit more from is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, as in, how do you change your thoughts when you look at the mirror and feel down, when you imagine what people think of you etc...

Unfortunately, there is quite a variety of counselling methods and many counsellors specialise in one field, so whoever comes to them applies this method, which is not always the most appropriate for their needs.