Real-life MMD: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

nannaanna

Definitely a no no! Buying friends or going overboard to pay the parents to give a party for their own child?? This is sooooo ridiculous!!! Taking a gift for the birthday child is very good and acceptable, but additional expenses other than travel makes it a totally disgusting act by the birthday parents.

lobbyludd

well, no, I wouldn't send them, my children have had big go-garting or Laser tag/paintballing parties and also small-at-home parties, with guests ranging from the whole class to a few select friends depending on the age/interests of the child and what we could afford. All have been thoroughly enjoyed.

and they have been to big events as birthdays and small birthday teas for other friends and classmates, and thoroughly enjoyed all types as well.

But they have also not been able to go to some, for a variety of reasons (other comitments, not been invited etc) so I don't think not going to a party is the end of the world.

rinabean

billbennett wrote: »

Hear hear. I would want to know what it was that was costing £25.

And I completely agree with what babyjaike says - a limit on the number of people is sensible. When I was a kid, I was told "you can invite 5 people", and each of the 5 people was told to "bring their favourite food for the table". My parents paid and organised the venue and majority of the food.

They complain about that now. I see on other forums people getting furious because someone dared to have a party and not invite the whole class. No wonder parents are charging nowadays. I could understand if it's a class of 30 and 25 are invited or something like that, that's not nice, but it being 'adults bullying children' to invite 10 or 15 is bizarre.

loocyloo

i'm astounded! in 25 yrs, I've never asked anyone to pay anything to attend a childs party, nor have I ever paid for my children to attend a birthday party.

we have paid to attend football club/swimming club etc discos and the like, but still only a few £ a time.

my childrens parties have, as others have said, been chosen to fit what we could afford to pay, and what they wanted to do; with numbers of guests as appropriate. I would never ask anyone to pay to come to my childs party.:mad:

Kirri

Elisecas wrote: »

If you're thinking, "this isn't ok," but say "yes" then you help start a new trend where some people think this is ok.

It's a child's birthday party. They are already out of hand compared with when we are kids. Children accept whatever norms we set for them. Don't let this become the new norm. We have more important things to spend our hard earned dosh on.

Was thinking the same, it used to be sandwiches, sausages on sticks and fairy cakes etc in the living room, party games and music with a few friends! Maybe a Wimpy when reaching being a teenager.

I wouldn't pay £25 even at an adult do!

FLG

This seems a dull if not one sided debate.
The real issue here is NOT the dilemma itself – but the assumptions being made by most readers. The responses seemingly make value judgements in the face of unknown factors.

Every post I’ve read seems to assume the child to be a youngster, but there is NO reference whatsoeverto age in the question.

So whilst a toddler might enjoy a lucky bag & a party at MacDonalds, for which I agree £25would be totally disproportionate and against the grain of our traditions. An older teenager will not want jelly &ice cream, or settle for a Macdonalds. They will most likely want to go to a theme park, quad biking, paint balling, go Karting or some other adrenalin rushactivity. Under this scenario It may not be unreasonable to ask for a contribution towards the cost, after all it maybe a one off opportunity for the child.

Let us not forget also that many working families are no better off financially than families on benefits. As a member of the Under Class Precariat (This is the poorest and most deprived class group. According to the BBC Great British Class Survey)
I myself took two teenagers Go Karting 5 years ago. The Go Karts cost £5 for 5 minutesor £25 for half an hour per Kart. The venue was a 45 miles round trip and so to make it worthwhile I let them race against each other for half an hour. They were thrilled to bits and still talk about it today. The cost made a huge dent in my £138.74wk Carer’s fee but the memory it created for them is priceless. I certainly could not afford to subsidise the cost of any of their friends wanting to join them. I have not been able to do anything like that since then either, so for me the solution to this dilemma is simply to “Cut ones Cloth accordingto Ones Means”. There is no shame in being realistic over money issues. Life is full of disappointments and today’s children need to learn this lesson if they are to avoid issues of debt in their futures.

If paying towards a party is becoming a trend then parents should consider encouraging their children to save their pocket money towards this. This would then allow the child to make their own value judgement decision and perhaps as they grow up they may follow in Martin Lewis’s wise footsteps.

megaroons

Some would find it too costly, others not, depending on income. I would not spend money on unnecessary expenses if it is beyond my budget. I would stretch my budget for special family occasions but not to the point of debt. Just my personal view.

Frevski

If it was a good friend, or something pretty spectacular I would offer to pay, but the money would have to be earned.

Things like helping more than they currently do, or if they do a lot already letting them see that there are benefits to helping around the house.

If it was a meal in pizza express and a trip to the cinema, there is no chance.

nesamp

no way should a child be charged to attend a children's birthday party !!

Prothet_of_Doom

The most expensive party, my kids ever had was a paintballing party.

And the biggest con was the price of the balls of paint.