Real-life MMD: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

gombert

I would not let my child attend a party on those terms (for all the reasons given above), but it's worth thinking about how you tell your child and how you turn down the invitation. In my view it would be better not to tell your child how disgraceful it is for someone to try and charge for attendance (which it really is!) because your child will go into school and repeat what you said and cause an almighty rumpus. Hopefully the contribution was requested directly from you and not via the child's invitation? I would reply directly to the parents declining to participate and not saying why - that way there's no risk of your child being taunted at school for having no money. Tempting as it may be to explain all this to the child, it could end up with a big row in the playground!

metropolis

Pay the charge then when it's your childs party, invite the other child and only charge them and not the others.
But, in reality you pay for a ticket, not an invitation.

Mark_Beech

I never heard such nonsense.
Where has all this business of kids having a birthday party every year come from? Kids these days are just so spoiled and cosseted.
And £25 each! Words fail me.
There's me thinking we were just coming out of a recession .... and this sort of thing is somehow considered normal behaviour.
Some people have such crazy mixed up priorities.

bogwart

No. Parties are supposed to be fun, not "events". What next, paid doormen?

One good reason you should resist is that this is the kind of thing that catches on like wildfire. It starts off innocently enough but then turns into a way of making money. And if you've paid £25 a pop you'll be wanting to know all the costs involved, the whole thing turns into a nightmare and the exact opposite of what a child's birthday party should be.

hogger84

I think it depends on the "experience". if it is just a party, then I would expect the host to pay (we do that for our daughter hire a hall and lay on food/drink, let her choose some music), (this is then passed forward as she attends other parties).

If this was an experience with set costs eg go-karting, paintball, themepark etc.then you may need to pay for the experience, but then your kid can do somthing similar and charge others later,

Augustus_the_Strong

If your child wants to go, why not reclaim the £25 out of their pocket money? It make take a few years, but they'll learn the value of money alright. ;-)

lmjohstone

I don't have kids, but there is no way I would pay!

When I was little and had parties (bowling, laser quest, etc) my parents paid for everything (travel, activity, food) and I'm sure they would never have dreamed of asking any of my friends parents to contribute!

(Before anyone makes a comment, we weren't poor but we weren't rich either.)

coxeey

You cant buy friends, use the £25 and go somewhere as a family at that time.
If they have said what the money is for then you can consider it. ie go cart time but when its your kids turn, dont expect them to turn up as they will be too tight (or too broke) to bother. They will cut and run.
You should go to a party because you are wanted there, not because they are collecting cash.

And a present....choke choke!!!:rotfl:

ronangel

I would say NO if somebody is inviting people to a party as the host the cost is theirs. Tell you child to tell their friends this is why they wont be coming and to suggest to parent should do same. Might sound cruel or mean but a paid for party is not a party, it is a business. Which brings me to another point if the child is paying will the party holders home insurance pay out should something happen?

gonecompletelybonkers

No.
It's ridiculous, it's inappropriate, it's rude.

Children have to learn they can't have everything they want. It's not relevant (IMO) whether or not you can afford it, a party should be funded by the parent(s). If they can't afford to put on the party their child wants then neither they or their child should expect others to foot the bill!

Even if this was my child's best friend, I'd still say "no"!!!

Using it as an excuse to do the same thing for your child is only making it worse - what about all the other parents that aren't happy with it?!