Real-life MMD: Party-pooping payment request - should I pay up?

minicooper272

It's depressing if this is going to become the norm...

If your child was sent an invitation to the party and the parent basically sent a bill with that, then that's unfair. If the parent said 'we're taking the birthday child to the safari park, and we're happy to take other kids with us but need a contribution', that's another matter.

You can't expect someone to contribute to a birthday party. The parent knows the cost when they book, and it's up to them if they can afford it (unless they perhaps lost their job since booking the birthday, then it's probably to help them out of a real bind).

If it's just a day trip around the child's birthday, you can say 'why don't I get the next one instead of paying this time', but that's up to you.

Your kid probably won't be the only one not going at this price, so don't feel bad about that. I feel bad for the birthday kid though, as probably only half the invitees will be able to make it.

Talent

Don't pay, don't go, simples.

dodgydealer

One response mentioned party bags for all guests. This was the start of the slippery slope-it's not your birthday so why expect a present?
I would not pay this amount. I've always paid for my kids' parties, usually about £200 but limiting numbers to about 10 or 15 so that the cost matched what I could afford. But all too often these days these same guests invite my youngest child to "pay for yourself" parties. I've explained to my daughter that I can't afford to pay for her to go to perhaps 20 parties a year like this and she must choose 2 or 3 a year which are the most important to her and that she is free to explain this house rule to those whose parties she declines. It is never too early to learn about "cutting one's clothes to suit one's cloth" Perhaps the message will get home indirectly to the parents as well.
It would be at least a bit better mannered for the "host" to ask potential "guests", (or preferably their parents direct) " I'm thinking of doing this but you'd need to chip in £xxx-do you think you'd be able to come?"
Sounding out potential guests would quickly establish if it was a starter or not.
Finally don't get me on to the "2 free tickets for the hosts" type parties which I know for a fact has happened at more than one party my daughter has attended, without the free tickets being thrown into the pot! I don't get caught twice by the same person on this con.

marich

Don't do it . If enough parents said 'No' , then this idea would die a death .

If you all slavishly indulge then you face £25 a shot for all your child's/children's friends parties - just do the sums ! Then you will get the "We're doing a £30 party this year" .

A party is free for everybody , a small present is expected and the fun is simple . Any friend can come - parents don't have to be able to afford it or feel they are being shown up if they can't .

It boggles me as to quite what that £25 buys... It sounds like some adult has had an idea of what their ideal party might have been and is foisting it on everybody else .

cazpost

I'm wondering if this is a case where the parents feel they have to have a fancy party for their child, but can't actually afford it,so they are getting the other parents to chip in. I would check the details,and find out exactly what you would be paying for and why.Then I would sit down and decide whether you can afford it, whether your child actually wants to go and discuss with the child how much it is costing and what that money might buy them instead.
I only had one birthday party as a child. I was 7,and the main thing I remember is the dog getting over-excited and being sick under the chair during Musical Chairs.

spendidme

I think it is quite rude to ask for an entry fee into a childs birthday party.
If you can't afford it, you can't have it!
However, if your child was to recieve a fun filled day for example; go karting, trip somewhere this including a substantial meal ( not your usual sausage roll and sarnies) and a belter of a goodie bag then maybe just maybe I would pay it.
I personally would ask what exactly your money is going towards and if it is not a fair price for a childs day out then I would consider declining the invitation.
Unless its your best friend or family member why should you chip in ?????

tallgirld

Decline the invitation. I have heard of this a few times from family and friends and I totally disagree with it.

I invited 7 of my friends/family out for dinner on my birthday. One of my friends texted me when I sent the invite out asking how much per head. My response was "I have invited you so there is no cost to you"

I paid for everyone to eat and we all had a good time!!

oldtrout

The world's gone MAD!!

Parents are forcing more and more expectations on children to have a bigger and better party than everyone else ... it'll be a child's weekend party at Disneyland Paris before you know it!!

Get real.

Chickola1

I view this in the same light adult birthdays where one is invited out to a restaurant not of your choice, where people have different sensitivities to money, and then are expected to split the bill. If it is my birthday, I am the host and I should treat everyone else (and if I can't afford to go out, a party at home is much cheaper); I think it's the same for kids' birthday parties.

dmg1109

Absolutely no way! Hosting a party is just that you HOST it, therefore stump the cost of the party - I would not hold a party if I wanted the attendees to pay. That leaves a bad taste!!:j