homework help

double_mummy

cutestkids wrote: »

That does seem to be quite a lot of homework for his age.
I work as a Teaching Assistant and our school parents are told how long each piece of homework should take.
At the age your son is now we would expect them to do 15-20 mins of homework 3-4 evenings a week with some reading on top. he gets maths on a monday to hand in on a wednesday and literacy on wednesday to hand in on a friday and spellings every night times tables every night reading every night and spanish every other week on a friday to hand in on a monday the literacy is generally done on length rather than time so this homework was 10 sentences with at least 5 being complex sentences (using and or but etc)

We also tell parents that if the child is distressed about a piece of work then they should stop and even if they do not manage to complete the homework in the time given it does not matter, they just bring in what they have done.

Homework at this age should not be causing distress, it should simply be reinforcing what has been learned in class and the child should not be punished for not being able to complete it.

i know this but its a constant why hasnt he done his homework from school and then i ask him and all he can ever say is i dont know

esmy

If he is a good reader can he tell you about what he reads, who the characters are, what's happening in the story, what he thinks might happen next?

My DD had the most incredible meltdowns over homework at that age. We set a time limit, 30 minutes if I remember rightly, if it wasn't done by the end of that time it didn't get done, no homework at all after tea, and certainly none before bedtime. We always read together at bedtime but not always the books she brought home from school.

fabforty

double_mummy wrote: »

have not thought of autism or aspergers as he has always been advanced and will express emotion but cant describe it so i didnt really think it fitted

Because Autism is a spectrum, it will affect people in different ways. However, without meaning to alarm or upset you (but probably doing both ), I agree with others that it is something that you ought to think about. Autistic children can be very bright and advanced in a number of ways. Autistic children do express emotions (happy, sad, frustration), but the significant thing that you mentioned was an inability to empathise, which is different. If he isn't on the spectrum, great, but if he is, having this diagnosed and recognised can make a huge difference to his daily life.

There are other things which could be causing his difficulties, dyslexia for example. It is worth discussing the issue with your GP. In the meantime, have a look at some of the many Autism and Dyslexia websites, see if any other symptoms match your son.

The fact that it is taking him so long to grasp something so relatively simple (especially as he is a bright boy), and the fact that he is becoming so distressed over it, suggests that something is not quite right - I am surprised that the school has not picked up on this.

Good luck, hope it all works out .

starrybee

How does he feel about reading?

It's so much easier to write when you know how other writers do it It would help boost his imagination as well.

(Haven't read all the other posts, sorry if it's been brought up )

double_mummy

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

One of my girls was just like that. She pretty much lost the plot every time the word 'literacy' was mentioned. yup just like my son

Eventually, I told the school that she wasn't going to be doing the homework. She wasn't punished, and there were no untoward effects upon the rest of her education. its just a bit scary i was always piled high with homework from a very small age and did quite well so i have always seen homework as an added bit to school



However, we do have a strong family history of Aspergers, so it is quite natural to be able to accommodate it - we treated the feelings thing as a logical exercise and over time, she learned very well.

I'd have a word with the teacher and explain how he has no comprehension of what he is expected to do. And make it very clear that detention is inappropriate for a six year old; possibly asking for the SENCO's input as well.

i am going to ask to see the head and senco i have told her that he doesnt understand what he has to do and she says that he is the same in class if she asks him to write a fact sheet he will spend ages on it and it will be amazing the second he has to describe or put emotions in he falls apart

seven-day-weekend

My son had problems with this sort of homework even in Secondary School, he used to cry about creative writing and no way would he write it down. One day he was telling me a story, I wrote down what he said, handed it to him and said 'there's your creative writing homework'. It was as though a switch had gone on and he said 'you mean it's just what comes out of my head?' and after that he was fine with it (although he always preferred to type rather than write). I have to say he has since(as an adult) found out that he has Asperger's Syndrome.

It seems a shame that your son is being punished for something that is distressing him so much. I would definitely have a word with the school about it and ask them to find some other way of dealing with it.

double_mummy

esmy wrote: »

If he is a good reader can he tell you about what he reads, who the characters are, what's happening in the story, what he thinks might happen next?

My DD had the most incredible meltdowns over homework at that age. We set a time limit, 30 minutes if I remember rightly, if it wasn't done by the end of that time it didn't get done, no homework at all after tea, and certainly none before bedtime. We always read together at bedtime but not always the books she brought home from school.

he can describe the characters as they have been described in the book but it is basically word for word he can factually tell me what has happened cant predict what could happen next

he has free run of the library at school as he has already passed all of the reading stages at school (thank god any more kipper books i may have gone mad lol) so he picks what he wants rather than having to read something specific

double_mummy

fabforty wrote: »

Because Autism is a spectrum, it will affect people in different ways. However, without meaning to alarm or upset you (but probably doing both )nope, I agree with others that it is something that you ought to think about. Autistic children can be very bright and advanced in a number of ways. Autistic children do express emotions (happy, sad, frustration), but the significant thing that you mentioned was an inability to empathise, which is different. If he isn't on the spectrum, great, but if he is, having this diagnosed and recognised can make a huge difference to his daily life.

There are other things which could be causing his difficulties, dyslexia for example. It is worth discussing the issue with your GP. In the meantime, have a look at some of the many Autism and Dyslexia websites, see if any other symptoms match your son.

The fact that it is taking him so long to grasp something so relatively simple (especially as he is a bright boy), and the fact that he is becoming so distressed over it, suggests that something is not quite right - I am surprised that the school has not picked up on this.

Good luck, hope it all works out .

its kind of one of those things that would occasionally pop into my head when he was in a social situation and i would just brush it off and always looked at the little individual and never really stepped back to see the whole picture

double_mummy

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

My son had problems with this sort of homework even in Secondary School, he used to cry about creative writing and no way would he write it down. One day he was telling me a story, I wrote down what he said, handed it to him and said 'there's your creative writing homework'. It was as though a switch had gone on and he said' you mean it's just what comes out of my head?' and after that he was fine with it (although he always preferred to type rather than write). I have to say he has since(as an adult) found out that he has Asperger's Syndrome.

It seems a shame that he is being punished for something that is distressing him so much.

we have done this but he wont write it up and cant hand in work that he didnt do

we have dictation software on the computer and he can use that really well (his dad is very dyslexic) but it still isnt anything more than the facts

Savvy_Sue

Academy or not, I didn't think homework could be enforced.

There's no skirting around this, there are some situations where a child just cannot do what's asked of them. Just because 90% of the class can, doesn't mean they can. And if they can't work out what someone else might be feeling from looking at pictures, no amount of practice will get them there.

You can TELL them that you think the other person might be sad / happy / excited because ... but it may well be completely meaningless.

The school doctor who talked to me about DS1's 'quirks' said "he can't say he loves you, he doesn't know what that is, his brain doesn't have the wiring." All the times I'd tried to get him to empathise, to understand why his brothers were upset that he'd destroyed a Lego model or whatever - no, nothing there. I could tell him that if they destroyed one of HIS models he'd be upset, but just because HE would be upset didn't mean he could appreciate that THEY would be upset. Wiring not there.

Also, when DS1 was doing his GCSEs, DH said to him "Never underestimate the stupidity of the examiner." See, DS1 couldn't work out WHY he was being asked about the meaning of Romeo's speech to Juliet etc - surely the teachers and those asking these questions already KNOW all that stuff?

Obviously that's a stage to come ... but at 6, I can appreciate the incredulity - "You want MORE? I've said he's got a blue shirt on, what more do you need to KNOW?"

I'd back off. DS1 is now a reasonably well-adjusted young man, with friends and a social life. I'm still not sure he understands how people feel ...