homework help

itsanne

The school is handling this very badly. Your son should not be being punished for not having done homework, especially when you have already raised the concern. I don't know the legal situation where you are, but when I was teaching in Scotland we could not punish children for not doing homework - and making them do it during breaks was counted as punishment. Regardless of the legal aspect, the issue is not about your son refusing to do the homework out of bad behaviour, but because he has a problem. Making this into such an issue for a child who is already experiencing a difficulty is counterproductive.

Not only should your son not be placed in a situation which is causing him so much stress, the fact that you are repeatedly left in tears shows that something really needs to be done. As speaking to the class teacher has not helped the situation, I would suggest that you arrange a meeting with the head teacher and whoever is in charge of additional needs. As you say that your son is similar in other areas where he has to consider how other people feel, I would not delay seeking help for him.

Do bear in mind that from what you describe your son also has important strengths, so for both your sakes try to concentrate on these in the meantime. On a practical level, it would be easier to try to do the difficult work at the beginning, possibly with a reward / break at the end. You could set a time limit for it: if it's not done within that time it won't be done. Write the time taken on his work and make it clear that you think that is enough time.

Good luck in chasing this up. Nothing lasts forever - things will improve.

cutestkids

That does seem to be quite a lot of homework for his age.
I work as a Teaching Assistant and our school parents are told how long each piece of homework should take.
At the age your son is now we would expect them to do 15-20 mins of homework 3-4 evenings a week with some reading on top.

We also tell parents that if the child is distressed about a piece of work then they should stop and even if they do not manage to complete the homework in the time given it does not matter, they just bring in what they have done.

Homework at this age should not be causing distress, it should simply be reinforcing what has been learned in class and the child should not be punished for not being able to complete it.

double_mummy

gingin wrote: »

I would be seriously concerned that school are punishing a 6 year old for not completing homework that his mother has already said he struggles with ( is he in a state or private school?). If a child is already stressed about something adding pressure is only going to make things worse.

Other than making his surroundings as stress free as possible and rewarding him when he does complete it well I think you really need school to work with you on this and not have them create so much drama over a 6 year old's homework.

cant multi quote so will be replying like this

all children are kept in if their homework is not handed in on time

he is at a state but it is an academy

double_mummy

WestonDave wrote: »

First reaction is that for a 6/7 year old (same age as my youngest) that's a lot of homework. Ours gets weekly spellings, a maths sheet which is more game than hard work, and a sheet of "memory maths" to practise (think times tables but they also do it with single digit additions as well to get them to be able to know that 2+4=6 without working it out).

We have a similar problem in that whilst we don't get the full extremes of behaviour, our youngest is excellent at maths, anything logical but struggles to be creative in writing (be that imagination or empathy). And you know what - at 6 if he can read, write, and be ahead of the game in numeracy, I'm not going to stress too much at a lack of finer writing skills.

That said maybe a bit of cheating the homework would help get the thought processes developing in his mind. If you sat down and did the homework almost for him next time so he can see what you are doing, and gradually increase his contribution and reduce yours so he's doing more and more of the thinking then maybe he will get the hang of what to look for, what to mentally ask himself etc. Forcing him to the point of meltdown to do it alone isn't working so a more "alongside" approach with this may help. we have tried this but then he wont copy it out in his own writing we have tried to get him to do it orally with me writing it down but he still wont write it up

The other suggestion is that if this work always gets left until last, do it when he's fresher - first or first after food etc. we come home have a snack and then start homework every night after school we then read every night before bed which he loves

He's a talented little chap and I'm a bit sad for him that at 6, its all becoming very serious and pressured, missing breaks etc. If possible getting back to enjoying his work and being more relaxed may open up the creativity which could be stifled further if he tenses up knowing he has to do it "or else"!

he is an amazing little man but yes it is very pressured he is top of his classed and after a year of refusing to do any work with a NQT because it was too easy he is now being stretched and is loving it in every subject except from literacy

double_mummy

ecgirl07 wrote: »

Some boys just hate writing - try having him type his story out. The lack of imagination or empathy especially frustration at writing about people feel does sound a little bit autistic/aspergers. Would he be able to do a descriptive piece about what they were wearing or what they were doing? he can do factual but cant expand on that so he will say 'the man is wearing a blue shirt' but wont say things like the man is wearing a pale blue shirt with shinny buttons - he just wont expand on anything that isnt a blatent fact Can you establish if its writing ie pen to paper he hates or writing about emotions? he is excellent on the computer but still doesnt want to type things up and is fine with pen on paper with everything except literacy

have not thought of autism or aspergers as he has always been advanced and will express emotion but cant describe it so i didnt really think it fitted

double_mummy

pennypusher wrote: »

Maybe he might have dyslexia? He's obviously trying hard at other subjects so perhaps he has a problem with words.

nope no dyslexia is an amazing reader and is currently reading harry potter and james and the giant peach he reads aloud so i know hes not just skimming through them

double_mummy

marisco wrote: »

It sounds like you have a bright, capable little boy OP and are feeling baffled by his responses to the literacy homework tasks that are set. I am a teacher of year 3 and am wondering if his lessons in class are overly structured, not allowing for children to work independently and give things a go. In each lesson there should also be plenty of time given to let children form ideas and opinions and learn the necessary skills to express these confidently.

If the foundations for this are not being laid down in class, then it is no wonder that once at home and left to attempt this, your son feels out of his depth and panic reacts. Keeping children in at break and / or lunch gets homework done in a non effective and often begrudging way, but it rarely produces good quality work or addresses the root cause of why the child didn't try to do it initially by themselves. I would recommend going to see your sons teacher and talking this through some more. A good teacher welcomes regular interaction with parents and should be happy to work with you on this.

we have a very good relationship with his teacher and talk daily and see her more in depth about once a month (he is on an IEP still because of his complete refusal to do work last year) she said he is excellent but just doesnt understand empathy or describing things if someone is crying he will say they are sad but cant expand upon that

you are always excellent marisco thank you!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Try buying a magnetic poetry kit and using the words as ideas starters; then he can copy some of the words down. Some kids just don't have active imaginations and need a little prompting.

double_mummy

itsanne wrote: »

The school is handling this very badly. Your son should not be being punished for not having done homework, especially when you have already raised the concern. I don't know the legal situation where you are, but when I was teaching in Scotland we could not punish children for not doing homework - and making them do it during breaks was counted as punishment. Regardless of the legal aspect, the issue is not about your son refusing to do the homework out of bad behaviour, but because he has a problem. Making this into such an issue for a child who is already experiencing a difficulty is counterproductive. it only seems to be this year where he is having problems now he is being pushed but he has never really done anything descriptive before or needing to use empathy

Not only should your son not be placed in a situation which is causing him so much stress, the fact that you are repeatedly left in tears shows that something really needs to be done. As speaking to the class teacher has not helped the situation, I would suggest that you arrange a meeting with the head teacher and whoever is in charge of additional needs. As you say that your son is similar in other areas where he has to consider how other people feel, I would not delay seeking help for him. plan for monday morning thank you

Do bear in mind that from what you describe your son also has important strengths, so for both your sakes try to concentrate on these in the meantime. On a practical level, it would be easier to try to do the difficult work at the beginning, possibly with a reward / break at the end. You could set a time limit for it: if it's not done within that time it won't be done. Write the time taken on his work and make it clear that you think that is enough time. my son is amazing and has some wonderful strengths we both enjoy maths so often sit and do maths games together he can very factually describe science things to (recent unit on sealife and told me all these things i'd never known about dolphins and whales - he has an amazing memory)

Good luck in chasing this up. Nothing lasts forever - things will improve.

thank you i know that in my head somewhere lol

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

One of my girls was just like that. She pretty much lost the plot every time the word 'literacy' was mentioned.

Eventually, I told the school that she wasn't going to be doing the homework. She wasn't punished, and there were no untoward effects upon the rest of her education.



However, we do have a strong family history of Aspergers, so it is quite natural to be able to accommodate it - we treated the feelings thing as a logical exercise and over time, she learned very well.

I'd have a word with the teacher and explain how he has no comprehension of what he is expected to do. And make it very clear that detention is inappropriate for a six year old; possibly asking for the SENCO's input as well.