homework help

double_mummy

little bit of rant but all ideas welcomed

so i am sat here in tears yet again over my 6 almost 7 year old son
he is amazing academically but has absolutely no empathy or imagination

he does his maths homework every night when it comes home and it is perfect every time the same for his spellings and his spanish homework.

BUT his literacy homework is a battle every single time he is given it he just doesnt want to do it. This weeks homework was due in this morning and was a picture that you had to describe and write about how you think the people in the picture would feel. he just couldnt get his head round it so instead of asking for help he defaced his homework book tearing up the pages and scribbling all over it. when i finally managed to talk to him about it he managed to tell me some key describing words and we put them on bits of paper for him to move around to make up the homework.
he didnt know how to put the words together so just screamed and cried until he went to be the second night. so tonight i just asked him to write up the draft adding in some connecting words. so now he is just sat there screaming.

with his other literacy homeworks his handwriting is so bad that it is unreadable whereas in school and on his other homeworks his handwriting is excellent for a boy of his age

i have talked to his teacher about this and he is now being kept in at break and lunches until his homework is done but it is taking him the whole week between home and school to get one small piece of work done. i have tried punishing i have tried incentives i have tried star charts i just have no more ideas can anyone help?

he is very similar at school and finds anything where he has to describe things or think about how other people feel

gingin_2

I would be seriously concerned that school are punishing a 6 year old for not completing homework that his mother has already said he struggles with ( is he in a state or private school?). If a child is already stressed about something adding pressure is only going to make things worse.

Other than making his surroundings as stress free as possible and rewarding him when he does complete it well I think you really need school to work with you on this and not have them create so much drama over a 6 year old's homework.

WestonDave

First reaction is that for a 6/7 year old (same age as my youngest) that's a lot of homework. Ours gets weekly spellings, a maths sheet which is more game than hard work, and a sheet of "memory maths" to practise (think times tables but they also do it with single digit additions as well to get them to be able to know that 2+4=6 without working it out).

We have a similar problem in that whilst we don't get the full extremes of behaviour, our youngest is excellent at maths, anything logical but struggles to be creative in writing (be that imagination or empathy). And you know what - at 6 if he can read, write, and be ahead of the game in numeracy, I'm not going to stress too much at a lack of finer writing skills.

That said maybe a bit of cheating the homework would help get the thought processes developing in his mind. If you sat down and did the homework almost for him next time so he can see what you are doing, and gradually increase his contribution and reduce yours so he's doing more and more of the thinking then maybe he will get the hang of what to look for, what to mentally ask himself etc. Forcing him to the point of meltdown to do it alone isn't working so a more "alongside" approach with this may help.

The other suggestion is that if this work always gets left until last, do it when he's fresher - first or first after food etc.

He's a talented little chap and I'm a bit sad for him that at 6, its all becoming very serious and pressured, missing breaks etc. If possible getting back to enjoying his work and being more relaxed may open up the creativity which could be stifled further if he tenses up knowing he has to do it "or else"!

hazyjo

May be slightly autistic or something? Might be worth considering. Not trying to act as a doctor here, just suggesting something that may not have been thought of...

Jx

ecgirl07

Some boys just hate writing - try having him type his story out. The lack of imagination or empathy especially frustration at writing about people feel does sound a little bit autistic/aspergers. Would he be able to do a descriptive piece about what they were wearing or what they were doing? Can you establish if its writing ie pen to paper he hates or writing about emotions?

MadDogWoman_2

My personal opinion is that all the homework a 6 year old needs are reading books and spellings. Fortunately DD's school agrees.

If it was causing that much stress I would leave it and explain the issues it was causing. Punishment is not the route to go down as it will make him resent the subject even more.

He is struggling somewhere, the reasons should be found and help provided.

JimmyTheWig

I agree with the autism suggestion. Worth speaking to your GP.

As for the school issue I would find out their policies on homework and see if they are sticking to them or see if you think they need changing. Maybe become a parent governor and you can help set policies like this?

Personally I would say that a child shouldn't be punished for handing in their best attempt at their homework.
And whatever the teacher says, keeping them in to redo it at breaktimes is a punishment.
In your son's case, his best attempt was a ripped up, defaced book. If that is what this homework is doing to him I think school should see that. I'd hand that in with a note to say that he tried his best.

pelirocco

That is far too much pressure for a very young child . This country to to heap more and more school work on children and from a very young age , yet oddly if put in a league against other European countries ( and ones who start formal education at a much younger age ) we wouldnt fare well

If it was my son I would refuse the homework at that age

marisco_2

It sounds like you have a bright, capable little boy OP and are feeling baffled by his responses to the literacy homework tasks that are set. I am a teacher of year 3 and am wondering if his lessons in class are overly structured, not allowing for children to work independently and give things a go. In each lesson there should also be plenty of time given to let children form ideas and opinions and learn the necessary skills to express these confidently.

If the foundations for this are not being laid down in class, then it is no wonder that once at home and left to attempt this, your son feels out of his depth and panic reacts. Keeping children in at break and / or lunch gets homework done in a non effective and often begrudging way, but it rarely produces good quality work or addresses the root cause of why the child didn't try to do it initially by themselves. I would recommend going to see your sons teacher and talking this through some more. A good teacher welcomes regular interaction with parents and should be happy to work with you on this.

pennypusher

Maybe he might have dyslexia? He's obviously trying hard at other subjects so perhaps he has a problem with words.

ecgirl07

MadDogWoman wrote: »

My personal opinion is that all the homework a 6 year old needs are reading books and spellings. Fortunately DD's school agrees.

what about number?