School problem

coolcait

LannieDuck wrote: »

...

But now an adult man who doesn't know .. daughter at all has allegedly called her a 'b!tch'. ....

I have added the bit in bold red font for clarity.

Imagine how the school's record of the telephone conversation with the girls' mum might look:

"Ms X called to say that her mother had informed her that Ms Y had told her (Mrs X's mother) that Mr Z had called pupil A (Ms X's) daughter "a b!tch"

That's a pretty good illustration of 'hearsay'. And 'allegedly'.

coolcait

MrsAtobe wrote: »

I fail to see how calling a seven year old 'a little b!!CH'

allegedly - someone else told the OP that it had been said

and threatening physical violence,

Allegedly - the OP's grandaughter told her mum that a classmate had (allegedly) said that her (the classmate's) dad would punch her (the OP's GD) in the face. The OP's DD then told the OP about this.

It's not exactly "And he stood there and told me that he would punch my b!tch of a grandaughter in the face"

even in jest, is ever acceptable behaviour for an adult.

OP, I hope the school are keeping a close eye on your GD, and on this person's future behaviour.

This is one of those threads where it's important to keep track of who actually said what, and to whom.

Especially when it's a "she said, she said" story, and you have to keep clarifying which 'she' said what.

coolcait

bellkat wrote: »

What can the school do? they have no power over this man, at most they can gather witness statements and tell him not to swear. They wont be able to exclude the child she has a right to education. They cannot stop him picking up his child from school.

What would you like them to do?

We would like the school to tell him what his daughter said to my GD, and to ask him his reasons for asking another parent to pick my GD out in the school line. Also I would like them to let him know that they are aware he called her a 'little bi**h to another parent.

We think this is aggressive behaviour, and we are mostly really worried that he may approach my GD. We always stay and watch her go into school and make sure that we are there before she comes out, but he could still go up to her in the line if he was feeling that angry.[/QUOTE]

The word 'allegedly' has been omitted from the above post in several places.

coolcait

meritaten wrote: »

...if this happened on the school premises and the person who pointed out your grandchild was willing to actually speak to the school ...

Of course, there are many reasons why that person might not be willing to speak to the school.

Those reasons could range from being afraid of the the father in question...

to the fact that the story was exaggerated, or even completely made up.

LannieDuck

coolcait wrote: »

I have added the bit in bold red font for clarity.

Imagine how the school's record of the telephone conversation with the girls' mum might look:

"Ms X called to say that her mother had informed her that Ms Y had told her (Mrs X's mother) that Mr Z had called pupil A (Ms X's) daughter "a b!tch"

That's a pretty good illustration of 'hearsay'. And 'allegedly'.

That's why my first post suggested OP get the Mum in question to speak to the school directly so that it's no longer hearsay.

LandyAndy

bellkat wrote: »

.

A week or so ago GD told her mum that this girl had said to her 'my dad is going to punch you in the face'. We sort of brushed it off thinking kids say daft things and GD didn't really seem that bothered by it.

.

bellkat wrote: »

This issue isn't really about a parent being told off for using bad language. It's about a conversation I was told about whereby this parent has asked someone to point out my GD to him and then called her a little bi**h!! This is after his daughter has told my GD that he wants to punch her in he face.

I'm still not clear which it is.

The first could quite easily be wishful thinking on the part of the child having seen an angry reaction from her father.

The second more suggests a reporting of his actual words.

hazyjo

As someone said above, what child hasn't said to another that their dad will come along and I]insert action[/I.

I can still imagine a conversation where, if it were my child who'd been scratched, I might ask someone who the girl is and say 'she seems to be a right little b****, that one.' Maybe they've fallen out several times, maybe I would have a few choice comments to add at the end. It was a private conversation. Did any children actually hear it? Did he shout it across the playground? Sounds to me like it was a conversation with ONE parent - and that parent chose to tell someone else.

If they're wrong about your GD, so what? Do you or your DD feel the need to go put people straight about what a nice girl she is? If the girls don't get on, they won't play together. End of.

The dad did NOT threaten to punch anyone in the face (AFAIK!)!

Jx

GwylimT

meritaten wrote: »

True - but then, you don't usually get the dad approaching other parents to ask them to point out the child responsible for 'scratching my childs neck' and calling her a 'little !!!!!', do you?
its a difficult one - if this happened on the school premises and the person who pointed out your grandchild was willing to actually speak to the school - then it wouldn't be 'hearsay' and they would have to act on it.
if the school would then not act on it - I would write to the governors.

I can understand why you are worried - Where I live I would be worried too! these sorts of things can escalate when parents are shall we say 'unbalanced'?

You would be surprised at how many parents do that sort of stuff, you often see some rather impressive fights at the school gates as well. Our first incident this year was a mum throwing their child's scooter at another mum because they were jealous that their child hadn't been given the lead role in the xmas play!