School problem

hazyjo

Why did the other mum even want to get involved? Did she come over to say that, or had there been a previous conversation about 'the dad threatening to hit your GD'?

Sounds like you/we could be getting parts of stories here.

Either way, aren't there enough people involved already?!

Jx

bylromarha

What has the head teacher said now?

What is likely to happen is that the class teacher will do some work in the classroom on making up and falling out with friends to help GD and the other girl resolve their differences.

I'd now leave it and let the school deal with it.

bellkat

Thanks for all your thoughts and comments. I really appreciate them all

hazyjo wrote: »

The girl said he had. That does not mean he said that!

All seems to have spiraled out of control to me - sounds like the girl is playing one off against the other. Did your GD scratch her? Maybe it was playful, maybe it was a fight, maybe lots of things. But the girl may well have gone home and lied and maybe someone did call her a little *****. I'm sure my sister or BIL would say the same if their girls were still small and came home saying someone had scratched them for no reason.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of maybes, and no facts.

Jx

I'm pretty certain that GD did not scratch this girl,not saying she's a total angel but she is usually really good at school, as all her teachers have always said. Even if she had scratched her, I would still be really concerned with the dads comments to another parent in the playground.
He definitely didn't say the comments in a 'jokey' sort of way!!

Up to now we haven't heard any more from school today, so my DD is going to put her concerns in writing to the school. We have been told by another parent that the girls mum and dad have been into school this afternoon. We don't know if it's because of this incident or they could have decided to go in themselves.

Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful

tom9980

hazyjo wrote: »

Why did the other mum even want to get involved?

Why? because some Mums and even Dads are a bit bored stuck at home with children they often turn up to school 20 minutes early just to have a good playground gossip, its the highlight of their day!. Of course if something is occurring then they simply have to stick their noses in to see what's going on, and of course if they happen to stir the pot a little that's all the better.

What they don't know is staff are quite good at spotting this parent behaviour and are all too well aware of what's going on most of the time.

hazyjo

bellkat wrote: »

I'm pretty certain that GD did not scratch this girl,not saying she's a total angel but she is usually really good at school, as all her teachers have always said. Even if she had scratched her, I would still be really concerned with the dads comments to another parent in the playground.
He definitely didn't say the comments in a 'jokey' sort of way!!

Did children hear? I do find it a bit embarrassing that a parent is being brought in a head's office to tell them off about their language. I can't see how it matters if he called your GD all the names under the sun to another parent and not done jokingly. It was a private conversation, surely? He may have had the wrong facts, he may not. But he was reacting on what his daughter told him (possibly in tears, who knows).

tom9980 wrote: »

Why? because some Mums and even Dads are a bit bored stuck at home with children they often turn up to school 20 minutes early just to have a good playground gossip, its the highlight of their day!. Of course if something is occurring then they simply have to stick their noses in to see what's going on, and of course if they happen to stir the pot a little that's all the better.

What they don't know is staff are quite good at spotting this parent behaviour and are all too well aware of what's going on most of the time.

Yes, I can imagine lol! My mum (nan to twin girls of 14, and boy of 18) regularly rants about girls in the dance place one of my nieces goes to. I get sick of hearing about the !!!!!iness, comments, etc. OMG the parents actually went to the head of the dance school to complain it's unfair my niece is getting all the good parts! Jeez... The mums have all been complaining to my sister saying 'it's not your L's fault, BUT...'!

Jx

tom9980

bellkat wrote: »

Thanks for all your thoughts and comments. I really appreciate them all


I'm pretty certain that GD did not scratch this girl,not saying she's a total angel but she is usually really good at school, as all her teachers have always said. Even if she had scratched her, I would still be really concerned with the dads comments to another parent in the playground.
He definitely didn't say the comments in a 'jokey' sort of way!!

Up to now we haven't heard any more from school today, so my DD is going to put her concerns in writing to the school. We have been told by another parent that the girls mum and dad have been into school this afternoon. We don't know if it's because of this incident or they could have decided to go in themselves.

Thanks for all the advice, it's really helpful

Coming at this from the angle of the school they likely would prefer your daughter did nothing. Honestly from the school point of view parents who come into school over every little incident are eventually viewed as troublesome timewasters. There is a lady at my partners school where they have a large file of letters she has sent over the years about every little incident.

My advice is to wait for the school to contact you. This kind of incident where one child hurts another happens frequently and its all part of a childs learning process on how to deal with the social and emotional aspects of life. Inevitably young children will fail from time to time, some more than others. Basically you need to trust the school to do their job, they will contact you if it is required.

hazyjo

The OP might be in for a shock then as the only incident regarding 'hurting' appears to be the claim from the other girl that the OP's GD scratched her!

Jx

bellkat

hazyjo wrote: »

Did children hear? I do find it a bit embarrassing that a parent is being brought in a head's office to tell them off about their language. I can't see how it matters if he called your GD all the names under the sun to another parent and not done jokingly. It was a private conversation, surely? He may have had the wrong facts, he may not. But he was reacting on what his daughter told him (possibly in tears, who knows)



Jx

This issue isn't really about a parent being told off for using bad language. It's about a conversation I was told about whereby this parent has asked someone to point out my GD to him and then called her a little bi**h!! This is after his daughter has told my GD that he wants to punch her in he face.

As for his daughter being in tears, I can say that most of the other parents in their class and ourselves have made real efforts to include her in things, by inviting her to parties when quite often the children didn't want her to come, and also encouraging them to play with her

Also, as an aside, I do not think schools should tolerate parents using bad language in the playground in front of children. This happened in GD's nursery and a number of parents complained and the parent in question was spoken to!

LannieDuck

tom9980 wrote: »

Honestly from the school point of view parents who come into school over every little incident are eventually viewed as troublesome timewasters.

I wouldn't see this as a 'little incident' at all.

If the only thing that happened was the girl had said her dad was going to assault my daughter, I would agree it's probably normal playground problems. I'd be upset but I'd help my daughter deal with it as best I could. I'd probably mention it to her teacher in case there were any other problems in class.

But now an adult man who doesn't know my daughter at all has called her a 'b!tch'. That's completely unacceptable. I don't understand the posters suggesting otherwise. I can understand why the OP wants to use the school as an intermediary, although in my case I'd probably just go up to him and ask him about it directly. Something like "I heard there was an incident between our daughters and that you might be a bit upset about it - was there more to it than I know?"

And to those suggesting perhaps the OP's daughter is in someway to blame, well if it were my daughter I'd want to know that too! I don't want her to go around scratching other children. If that's what an investigation turns up, I'd much rather know about it so I can address it with her.

MrsAtobe

I fail to see how calling a seven year old 'a little b!!CH' and threatening physical violence, even in jest, is ever acceptable behaviour for an adult.

OP, I hope the school are keeping a close eye on your GD, and on this person's future behaviour.