School problem

bellkat

My grandaughter is in year 3, age 7. Shes never had any problems at school and always had lovely reports from her teachers, both for her work and behaviour.

There is girl in her class who has 'challenging behaviour'. A number of parents have spoken about it and on occasions had to go into school to sort out issues.
My GD has mentioned minor incidents occasionally, but also sometimes plays with her, so no major incidents until now.

A week or so ago GD told her mum that this girl had said to her 'my dad is going to punch you in the face'. We sort of brushed it off thinking kids say daft things and GD didn't really seem that bothered by it.

Yesterday I did the school run and one of the mums in GD's class came over and told me that this girls dad had been asking her who my GD was, they were lining up to go in school at the time.
He then said about an incident between the girls, and said that my GD had scratched his daughters neck.
When this other mum told him which one my GD was he then went on to say 'the little b**ch'.
We are obviously quite distressed about this ,so her mum rang the school and spoke to the teacher and the deputy head. They have said they are not prepared to speak to the parents of this girl as it's classed as hearsay as we did not hear him say these things ourselves.
They seem to be disregarding the comments made by this girl to GD
The deputy head is going to report to the head teacher today, so we're waiting to see if we hear from him.

I would welcome any thoughts on this, are we over reacting as they seem to think? Should they be prepared to speak to him.
We are going to be on pins now every time we go to school and certainly don't want any big playground confrontations.

Thanks for reading, sorry it's so long.

tom9980

How do you expect the school to manage the behaviour of an adult outside of their control?

At this point i think you are overreacting this kind of spat goes on at schools on a regular basis, let it blow over rather than fan the flames. You don't need to do anything more than follow the schools advice. I am sure they have written an incident report by now given the deputy is investigating. If the dad approaches you just be polite, if he gets angry walk away.

de_g.

Seems to me the school is trying to ignore it's duty of care here. I'd suggest they need to get both sets of parents and children in to sort it out, as it appears to be a serious bullying issue over spilling.

rich11

I totally disagree with the above post.It may well be hearsay but I would have severe concerns about an adult who has threatened to punch a 7 year old in the face

Edit to say I meant post 2

tiernsee

I disagree (edit: to the first person who replied). Surely schools have duty of care towards pupils in their protection and in a situation like this I would expect the school to investigate and not just ignore it as "hearsay". What would happen if the girls' father did come back in and attack the girl, wouldn't it be better to stop it before anything did escalate? OP you have my sympathy and hope this is sorted. Personally I would be on to the school and ask them how they are going to ensure the safety of my child. I don't think you are over-reacting and in your shoes I think I'd be on tenterhooks too.

Addiscomber

I understand your concerns, but I don't see what you can do beyond making sure that someone is at school before and after classes when the father might be able to get access to your GD in the playground.

hazyjo

rich11 wrote: »

I totally disagree with the above post.It may well be hearsay but I would have severe concerns about an adult who has threatened to punch a 7 year old in the face

Edit to say I meant post 2

The girl said he had. That does not mean he said that!

All seems to have spiraled out of control to me - sounds like the girl is playing one off against the other. Did your GD scratch her? Maybe it was playful, maybe it was a fight, maybe lots of things. But the girl may well have gone home and lied and maybe someone did call her a little *****. I'm sure my sister or BIL would say the same if their girls were still small and came home saying someone had scratched them for no reason.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of maybes, and no facts.

Jx

tom9980

Think you need to read the OP VERY carefully.

1. The dad has not threatened the child with violence, he called her a B****
2. The school need a member of staff to have over heard the incident to be able to do anything at all, and even then that is very little.
3. The deputy is investigating, chances are they will find nothing of substance they can act on.
4. Antagonising a man who can call a 7 year old something so horrid especially given her age is not wise.
5. Its ludicrous to suggest a grown man is going to do anything to harm a child and that the OP or her family is in any danger. More likely to be hit by a bus frankly.

sassyblue

Wouldn't the woman who the man said the comment to be prepared to go in and complain like you have? It's not hearsay then.

In any case, l would put it all in writing to the school and point out that they are responsible for your GDs safety within the school and its grounds.

A solicitors letter may be OTT (or maybe just a letter from your GDs parents) but in the circumstances l think the parent needs telling that his daughter mentioning to your GD that dad is going to punch her in the face and calling her a !!!!! is completely out of order and that the school has been made aware of both his and his daughters behaviour.

sassyblue

tom9980 wrote: »

1. The dad has not threatened the child with violence, he called her a B****
.

His daughter told the OPs GD that her dad was going to punch her in the face. What part of that is not threatening?

ETA, the fact that OPs GD wasn't bothered by it is irrelevant, good job in the circumstances.

tom9980

sassyblue wrote: »

His daughter told the OPs GD that her dad was going to punch her in the face. What part of that is not threatening?

She is 7. This kind of thing has happened in playgrounds since the dawn of time.