your opinion needed wwyd situation.

Bella73

I'm sorry but you sound incredibly naive. I actually laughed when I read the line about the wife spreading rumours that they are still sleeping together, to be honest if she says they are they probably are. Let's face it he more than likely was when you first got together or did you fall for the "she doesn't understand me" line etc. they were obviously together prior to the newborn being born and let's face it 9 months isn't very long and lots of couples carry on with relations shall we call it on an open forum right up until the birth.

Let's be honest we know he tells lies so why would he tell you truth about this, probably just told you what you wanted to hear.

Seanymph

that made me laugh out loud Bella - I'd missed it in the OP.

Of Course she isn't lying! Why would she? She gains nothing by saying she's sleeping with him - anyone she tells will think she's a muppet and tell her to get rid and get some respect. She demeans herself by admitting it, so therefore chances are it's true.

If she gains less by what she's saying than she would if she didn't say it then generally you should believe it.

Whereas he obviously has less to lose by denying it - the same rule applies.

FBaby

the wife knew all about me and i have spoken with her on the phone told her my side of the story apologized for the way it all happened and have been totally honest with her, after all i didnt know about her.

I'm amazed about this point. I wonder when that discussion took place and find it incredible that the wife would actually have bothered to listen to all this without saying a word if she is so angry that she is building everyone to hate new partner and won't have her children around her. I wonder what the wife said during that conversation.

I think many women fall for such men when they are older and they feel pride that they are showing them an interest, even more when they are prepared to leave their long term wife for them. After all, husband could have stuck to a sob story to get his cake and eat it. Instead, he did make the decision to leave and commit to OP. It therefore could very well be that he did intend on leaving wife (after all, maybe she got pregnant when things were already not good at all between them), but husband is too much of a wimp to move on his own and needed the support of another girl to give him the strength to do it. Either way, it shows a man who lacks some balls, and that would frightened me as his new partner.

Whether the wife is still intimate with husband...I think it could go either way. She could be so intend on making OP feel insecure and suspicious as she made wife feel that she might be prepared to lie and look stupid for it.

Errata

I hope the OP is happy with her bloke, nobody else would touch him with a bargepole. And when a bloke leaves his wife for another woman is often because his wife has thrown him out.
Brings a whole new meaning to the term 'hot bedding'.

pollypenny

The OP and her cheating bloke sound like a right pair!

OP is making excuses for her behaviour and the bloke is abominable!

Let us know when you are on Jeremy Kyle, OP . :mad:

Hermia

Bella73 wrote: »

I'm sorry but you sound incredibly naive. I actually laughed when I read the line about the wife spreading rumours that they are still sleeping together, to be honest if she says they are they probably are.

I can't tell you how many blokes I have known (not been in a relationship with thankfully!) who were having it away with their wives up to the moment they left for the mistress. Why do women always fall for the "she doesn't understand me" and "she doesn't give me sex" lines?!

OP - you do sound amazingly young and I really cannot understand why you want do saddle yourself with damaged goods and a whole lot of baggage. In this situation I don't think I could even think about having kids as I would spend the whole pregnancy scared he'd get bored and go elsewhere.

meer53

My ex had an affair with someone. He didn't tell her he was married with 2 children, our daughter was just 2 at the time. When i found out, and his GF found out about me, she gave him an ultimatum, it was me or her. He chose her.

They aren't together any more, i'm happier than i've ever been.

Moral of my story, once a liar, always a liar. Why would you choose to live with a liar ? I don't understand it. How can you ever trust them ? The OP won't want to listen to this, but she has made a huge mistake, it's never going to work. And it won't be because of the ex wife.

p-pincher

My god you sound incredibly young and naive. Keep your nose out of any situations involving his wife and kids as frankly its none of your business. You will just inflame the situation. Why the hell you think your actions are even remotely OK is completely beyond me. But if you really think you have any chance of making this relationship work with this (cough) man keep a dignified silence, let him deal with his wife and kids and accept the most of the people affected ie wife, kids family etc are not going to like you for a very long time. It may not be nice for you bout tough s**t bascially, you've made your bed so now lie in it.

My hubby has an ex wife and 2 kids. They split when the youngest was only a few months old. I met him 2 years later and only 2 years after that did I meet the kids. Stop trying to force yourself on the kids. You'll end up looking like a stalker. I really feel sorry for the kids.

notanewuser

Gillyx wrote: »

I remember you posting about this in the past, and everyone advised you against getting involved any further. I agree, once a love rat, always a love rat.

He cheated when he had a newborn at home and/or when his wife was pregnant, I don't know how that can be attractive and how if you ever did choose to have kids, you'd feel comfortable at 8 months pregnant with him being out and about.

Ask her again in mid-June.

alias*alibi

Shock horror; another mistress gets pregnant. I think it's the only way they can validate themselves and the relationship.