I just need to vent! Friends who won't save

fozmcfc

I'm another one who has friends who claim they have no money but then bet regularly, go one holidays a few times a year and buy latest gadgets.

If you went into the job centre, I wonder how many would have iphones, not too mention the money to smoke, drink and gamble.

Too many people think it's against their human rights to not have laptops, flat screen tv's, sky tv, tablets and the latest phone.

NowRetired

Same with the people who moan about me going on holiday all the time yet puff their heads off and have the full package from Sky and never watch movies because they are in the pub every night.

[Deleted User]

This is an interesting subject and something I actually wrote about many years ago when my children were young (we're talking 25 years ago).

I was involved with the NCT as a post-natal support worker and I used to visit new mums at home. I lost count of the number of them who said to me 'you're so lucky that you don't have to go to work. I have to go back'. My husband and I made the decision for me to stay at home for a few years when my 3 children were young because we had no family near to help out and their was no such thing as free childcare or tax credits etc in those days. We lived in a small 3 bedroom house (2 single rooms, bunk beds), had one old car that we had to park on a hill to get started every morning and our holidays were a week in Devon with my In-laws. I bought my kids clothes from QS and our social life revolved around meals at home with our friends who were in the same situation.

Many of the people I visited had big houses, 2 flashy cars, holidays abroad every year etc. It was hard not to point out that they didn't HAVE to work, they CHOSE to in order to maintain their lifestyle. They could have chosen to change their lifestyle and live with less money. That is the CHOICE they made.

Similarly, people often say to me 'you're so lucky to be so slim'. I do point out that its not luck its bl**dy hard work! I eat carefully, I run, I weight-train at the gym. Anyone can do it if they choose to put the effort in.

I think its just human nature to wish that everything could be achieved without sacrifice, effort or cost. It makes people feel better to believe that everything is harder for them to achieve than it is for you - that way they don't have to feel responsible for not getting everything they want!

reason2

Maybe your lucky to them in the sense that you have the commitment and drive that others lack.. i can see why they would say it.

id love to own my own house and i earn good money but since i cant get a mortgage i would have to save around £500 a month for 35 years just for the asking price of a house (assuming in 35 years they are similar priced)

that thought alone puts me off saving for a house and as a result you are lucky - its not a dig - im sure they are saying oh its not fair your so lucky..

tattycath

reason2 wrote: »

Maybe your lucky to them in the sense that you have the commitment and drive that others lack.. i can see why they would say it.

id love to own my own house and i earn good money but since i cant get a mortgage i would have to save around £500 a month for 35 years just for the asking price of a house (assuming in 35 years they are similar priced)

that thought alone puts me off saving for a house and as a result you are lucky - its not a dig - im sure they are saying oh its not fair your so lucky..

You may not be able to get a mortgage now, but who's to say you won't get one in the future? It's still worth trying to save then if/when you are eligible for a mortgage you'll have a deposit ready.

pops5588

I get this from some of my friends a lot. And despite the fact I love my sister to pieces and she is absolutely my best friend, she did rile me the other day with her new life plan. She's getting married in a few weeks but since she has seen me and OH with a house, she and her fiancee have decided they now want to buy a house.

So she phones me up the other day and goes "after the wedding we're going to move back in with mum for a year and then get a house".

Err....a year?! I don't think she realises how long OH and I slogged to get our deposit together!! It rather smacks to me of "If Poppy can do it then it must be easy!!" HMPH!

aliasojo

serious_saver wrote: »

We bought our house earlier this year. So suddenly all of our friends are telling us how lucky we are!.........

.......... Yet we're soooooo lucky!!!

Quite frankly I'm starting to get pretty P***ed off.

No....don't get p***ed off, agree with them.

You ARE lucky. You're lucky you were born with a good dose of common sense and a good understanding of what's important and lasting in life and what's not.

So the next time they annoy you, just tell them you know you're lucky and why. :D

Hoof_Hearted

We get the same. We have a lovely house and a few quid in the bank but I still have a modest car and don't like spending money unnecessarily. I've worked since 16, worked all through university, worked long hours in a demanding job, overpaid the mortgage when I could to get in a good position today. Friends clearly think our good fortune was just some accident. Some who drink heavily, have flash cars and eat out a lot will still have a mortgage when they retire. I don't feel sorry for them. People make their choices.

graspandsave

serious_saver wrote: »

We bought our house earlier this year. So suddenly all of our friends are telling us how lucky we are!

There is no luck to it!
.

Yes you said , there is no luck to it but more financial common sense.

You are BETTER off than your friends, because you have your head screwed on - you understand money , it's value and not wasting it.

I'd love to have a nicer car, but MFW is more important to me
= no-brainer

aileth

One of my no longer friends was like this, but instead of saying how lucky we were or congratulating us, instead she got bitter and spread rumours, basically just incredibly jealous (hence no longer friend).

She would've been able to have the same bonuses we had, buying a house, nice car, if she hadn't p*ssed all her money away on brand new clothes every month (she must've kept the local topshop in business) and absolutely stupid stuff like buying random crap that you'll use once (like an egg slicer - !!!!!!?)

I would say, "We worked hard and cut back for it", and her response was be, "Well I work hard TOO you know." Sigh.