Going "halves"

daisiegg

If it were general bills or something then often the couple counts as two people, of course - but if it is a gift for a relative of one of the couple, then I think the couple only counts as one. I think your sister is right, sorry. The present is not one third from you, one third from your sister and one third from her husband; it is half from you, and half from your sister (and by extension, her husband).

barbiedoll

I think 50/50 is right in this case, the present is for your mum from her two daughters and their families. If your sister was (for instance) a single parent and she put her child's name on the gift, I daresay you wouldn't expect the kid to chip in for a third of the cost. (I know that mums often buy a separate gift from kids for grandma but you know what I mean)

It is different when paying for a meal or buying a round in the pub though!

Gloomendoom

daisiegg wrote: »

If it were general bills or something then often the couple counts as two people, of course

Often? In our relationship, and also in our respective families, a married couple counts as one unit for bills, or anything else.

victory

I reckon they count as one so yes 50/50

onlyroz

I wouldn't expect my husband to get my mother a birthday present, and I don't think she'd expect to receive one. It would probably be an implicit assumption that any gift was from both of us.

meritaten

I think this is reasonable tbh. if you normally buy a gift as a 'couple'. the card will say from ' single person and 'couple'. or the other way round!

daisiegg

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Often? In our relationship, and also in our respective families, a married couple counts as one unit for bills, or anything else.

I meant things like buying rounds of drinks or splitting bills in a restaurant.

*max*

I also agree with the majority. In this case, your sister is right and you should still split two ways. It's not like her husband would buy his own gift for your mother - at least that's not anything I've ever come across! My brother and sis in law buy gifts for my mother, but always as couple, never separate. I often went halves on a gift for mum with my brother and it would never have occurred to me to split three ways.

Saturnalia

Wow, so this is how things usually work?

I've only ever done joint gifting and bill splitting with friends, and in that situation, relationship status is no issue, if you are one of the givers, you pay a share.

I've lived in houseshares many years and bills, household kitty etc are always divided by the number of people in the house. A couple uses as much loo roll and takes as many showers as two singles, therefore they pay the same as two singles. Rent is roughly divided by number of rooms, usually the couples pay a bit extra as they have larger rooms than the singles.

Same as eating out - we've all been scammed into equal bill splits subbing someone's 4 courses, steak and wine in the past and now we're quite happy to each pay for what we ate. Hell would break loose if a couple insisted they were one person and paying for one meal and the rest of us could lump it! Thankfully I am yet to encounter this stunt, thanks for the warning!

I did think it was odd that sister's husband didn't seem to be in on our gift, they usually give gifts as a couple but this time he wasn't involved in any of the discussion about what we were going to get, that's why I asked.

Torry_Quine

Saturnalia wrote: »

Wow, so this is how things usually work?

I've only ever done joint gifting and bill splitting with friends, and in that situation, relationship status is no issue, if you are one of the givers, you pay a share.

I've lived in houseshares many years and bills, household kitty etc are always divided by the number of people in the house. A couple uses as much loo roll and takes as many showers as two singles, therefore they pay the same as two singles. Rent is roughly divided by number of rooms, usually the couples pay a bit extra as they have larger rooms than the singles.

Same as eating out - we've all been scammed into equal bill splits subbing someone's 4 courses, steak and wine in the past and now we're quite happy to each pay for what we ate. Hell would break loose if a couple insisted they were one person and paying for one meal and the rest of us could lump it! Thankfully I am yet to encounter this stunt, thanks for the warning!

I did think it was odd that sister's husband didn't seem to be in on our gift, they usually give gifts as a couple but this time he wasn't involved in any of the discussion about what we were going to get, that's why I asked.

Your brother-in-law was probably quite happy for his wife and you to decide on the gift for your mother.

Meals out etc are different from your scenario though.