How to persuade a child to take a blood test

Annisele

I chose to take a blood test in my early 20s. I could have taken it earlier, but I wasn't ready until then.

The point of that test was to find out whether I'm a carrier of a hereditary disease that has affected many family members. I am. Even as an adult, I found the results very, very difficult to cope with. More than a decade later, and child-free by choice, I still feel very sad about the whole affair.

If somebody had *made* me take that test at 13 and told me the results, I would have been beside myself with fury (at them) and grief (for the children I won't have). If my parents had made me have it, I'm honestly not sure I'd have forgiven them.

OP: If your son understands the consequences of not taking the test, and still doesn't want it, please don't make him.

heartbreak_star

Lieja wrote: »

I've recently had my first letter to go for a smear, and I'm ignoring it out of fear of going, despite knowing that I definitely should do it. I'm an adult so obviously my decision, but in my mind I know I need a bit of a kick up the bum to make me go!

Here's a kick up the bum - unchecked and untreated cervical cancer can kill you, or you will stay alive but dramatically reduce your chances of having a child.

Smears mean it can be found and treated before cells even get to the stage of being cancerous.

Please, please have your smear.

HBS x

indsty

Looking at the wider picture - whatever the necessity of the test at this moment, what if the lad gets e.g. appendicitis - he is then going to HAVE to have blood taken, no choice. To be honest I think your problem started when he was much younger - sometimes kids need to know that they just have to do things they don't like. At present the lad has dug himself into a hole - doesn't want to back down - and is therefore being stubborn about it. If it isn't a matter of life and death at present I would back off, not mention it and visit the situation again later on.

pm04gn

securityguy wrote: »

"He is a child. He is incapable of making these decisions himself."

A 13 year old is almost certain Gillick/Axon competent, or at least would be presumed to be so unless there was compelling evidence otherwise. The OP has been mysterious as to whether he's actually ill (in which case there's some urgency) or if this is a concern about some genetic or otherwise incipient condition (in which case there's less urgency and more complex ethical issues, including his right to _not_ know).

Unless the OP wants to refight the Gillick case (and each time it's been tried, notably in the Axon case, Gillick has been upheld and sometimes reinforced) she needs to accept that he's competent to refuse treatment under the Fraser guidelines, and work with him. Talk about "he has no choice" and "just make him" is grandstanding: a doctor who delivered treatment knowing that there were threats being made against the patient to enforce compliance would do so at risk of their registration. Consent must be informed and freely given. "When I was a child" stories aren't relevant: Gillick hadn't made her kamikaze rush against the courts back then.

No one is presumed competent at the age of 13. The child in question has to prove that they fulfill the requirements of the Fraser competence in regards to the procedure. So someone could be competent at 13 to refuse a blood test but not an operation if it was felt they didn't understand. You can't be overall Fraser competent, it's for each decision. The child has to be able to understand the implications of the decision.

I work a lot with under 16s in healthcare and spend a lot of time assessing competence.

I think the best thing to do to get him to have the blood test is outline all of the consequences and he needs to be able to understand and explain it back to you why he doesn't want it. Otherwise he doesn't have the maturity and competence to make the decision.

paulineb_2

I waited a long time between smears and thankfully it was clear, but Im very glad I went for my last one, about 6 months ago.

Its uncomfortable, but not too much so and as has been said before, any changes that have been detected, if you need treatment you'll get it

One of my family has had a couple of borderline smears and still gets them even though shes over the age that usually get them, dont ignore the letters.

Nick_C

January20 wrote: »

Just because things were allowed to happen in the past doesn't make them right!

And just because something is not currently fashionable, it doesn't mean its wrong!

victory

sukysue wrote: »

God Victory I bet you didn't realise ppl would start a fight over your innocuous thread did you ? lol

Yikes, I missed all this, did not log on for a bit and missed it:D

Anyway, as said before we are leaving it for now, no bribery, moddly coddling etc etc, he does need it but not necessarily now as I have said before, it does make me laugh that since I have been gone some posters have said that he doesn't want it done because he has taken something and is trying to hide it:rotfl::rotfl: no more comment on that line of thinking:D



To each and every single person that have offered genuine, real, helpful suggestions I appreciate them very much, thank you.

Unfortunately I cannot get into the HPV debate as I know nothing about it...the thread was not about cervical smears so no comment there either...

I also am not 100% up on a 13 year olds rights (and would never ever pin my son down to have a blood test which some poster said happened to them 20 years ago or today:eek:) all I do know for a fact is the DR/nurse infront of DS said that he would not be made to have it done, that it was his decision, that no one can make him do it and he has lapped that one up.:o

What I do know fact is that DS will have the blood test, as I have said before, we will have to go around the houses, slowly slowly on this one but I would bet on DS will have the blood test:D

victory

pm04gn wrote: »

No one is presumed competent at the age of 13. The child in question has to prove that they fulfill the requirements of the Fraser competence in regards to the procedure. So someone could be competent at 13 to refuse a blood test but not an operation if it was felt they didn't understand. You can't be overall Fraser competent, it's for each decision. The child has to be able to understand the implications of the decision.

I work a lot with under 16s in healthcare and spend a lot of time assessing competence.

I think the best thing to do to get him to have the blood test is outline all of the consequences and he needs to be able to understand and explain it back to you why he doesn't want it. Otherwise he doesn't have the maturity and competence to make the decision.

I am not for one moment going to say that I understand the above or the other post about the gillick case or the axon case, I plead ignorance on all of it as have no clue where that leaves a 13 year old persuading him to have a blood test??

I know nothing about this and would be very interested to what is deemed competence? As far as I am concerned my DS is fully aware of what it entails etc etc...

Takeaway_Addict

I'm just in admiration of his stubborness against authority (parents and nurses etc)

Power to the people!:p

Bigmoney2

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

I'm just in admiration of his stubborness against authority (parents and nurses etc)

Power to the people!:p

Well you may have hit the nail on the head.

Is it possible he is just being contrary, refusing because he can.

He's at an age when hormones kick in, he feels more adult than he is and is exerting his authority.

He may well change his mind later on.

It may be that other circumstances kick in such as needing a medical for a job, where it will get done, admitatly some years off.

I'd just leave it for now.