How much board should I be paying?

AlexLK

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Interesting. And what if he wastes it all at 25? That's 25 years of your savings down the drain. Possibly better to keep the savings and use it to invest and it will be there when he is older and possibly wiser.

My wife and I currently have £12,000 for him. We are aiming to put away £500 per month for our son and thought 25 would be a sensible age for him to receive the money. Our alternate though was to say he could only use the money to buy a house, so he possibly wouldn't have to mortgage.

applecrumble24 wrote: »

My brother in law inherited a substantial sum of money at 26. 18 months later and he's blown it all.....

Perhaps age it not a good indicator then.

duchy

mountainofdebt wrote: »

But from the sounds of it the OP is borrowing money anyway to squirrel away - which makes no sense at all

Bear in mind the OP is not borrowing £6K a year -a substantial part is a grant so not repayable.

One thing that strikes me is that the student support package is probably too high if students are able to save such substantial amounts in certain circumstances. Perhaps like benefits if people are also working these "benefits" (the grant part not the loan part) should be reduced on a pound for pound basis above a minimal level ?

(and before I'm accused of anti-studentism.... I'm a mature student who also works so my suggestion would directly impact me financially -I'm aware my grant and bursary make studying very attraactive)

Mojisola

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife and I currently have £12,000 for him. We are aiming to put away £500 per month for our son and thought 25 would be a sensible age for him to receive the money. Our alternate though was to say he could only use the money to buy a house, so he possibly wouldn't have to mortgage.

Are you saving it in his name or yours?

Does he know you're saving it for him?

If he does, he won't have much incentive to save for himself, will he? "I can spend all my money on stuff I want because Mum and Dad are going to buy a house for me."

Lunar_Eclipse

mikeandrach wrote: »

what I MIGHT do is force a savings account, ie give me x amount per month and I will save it for you, but that is the worst I could/would do

That's what my parents did during my GAP year. I paid them board, £50/week over twenty years ago, which they gave back to me when I left for uni. They didn't need the money, but were concerned I might not save for university (which I did.)

I can see both sides to this argument. It's ridiculous for people to say 'you do them no favours' by not charging etc. I have always been extremely independent and money savvy; this made neither difference either way.

OP: not sure what I suggest for you. If reasoned discussion isn't working, your mum will have the final say at the end of the day. How do you feel about offering £150 as a compromise? You tell her you respect her financial needs, but that you would like her to respect your financial goals, so suggest the lower (in the middle) figure. I think you sound very mature and responsible. I do think she should listen to you though, not doing so is incredibly rude. Does she have major financial worries?

AlexLK

Mojisola wrote: »

Are you saving it in his name or yours?

Does he know you're saving it for him?

If he does, he won't have much incentive to save for himself, will he? "I can spend all my money on stuff I want because Mum and Dad are going to buy a house for me."

He's almost three so does not understand the concept of us saving money for him. It is currently in his name due to obvious tax benefits.

I probably come from a very different background to you, my parents gave me enough money to (more than) buy a nice house when I was 18. I chose to waste it and that created animosity between my parents and I for a long time. However, now I understood why they gave me the amount of money they did and that I just chose to not use it wisely. Unlike my parents, my wife and I have an average income so cannot save as much for our child as they did for me.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife and I currently have £12,000 for him. We are aiming to put away £500 per month for our son and thought 25 would be a sensible age for him to receive the money. Our alternate though was to say he could only use the money to buy a house, so he possibly wouldn't have to mortgage.

Think about it - you have done all the work and he will get a huge windfall.

If you gave it to him in bits and pieces, so for pocket money/birthdays and got him to start saving then it would be his money and his savings, not a windfall.

Plus you might have other kids...why not have it as a futures fund for all your kids; and put some of it into their bank accounts so that they learn the value of money as they grow up?

AlexLK

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

Think about it - you have done all the work and he will get a huge windfall.

If you gave it to him in bits and pieces, so for pocket money/birthdays and got him to start saving then it would be his money and his savings, not a windfall.

Plus you might have other kids...why not have it as a futures fund for all your kids; and put some of it into their bank accounts so that they learn the value of money as they grow up?

We shall give him an allowance when he is older for that type of thing.

My wife and I are not planning on having anymore children.

Lunar_Eclipse

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Frankly, I think it's one of the worst mistakes you could make, not charging them SOMEthing.

Why on earth WOULDN'T you?

Worst mistakes? I'd say it's fairly minor given my parenting journey so far.

And there are several reasons you might not. Helping them save up a decent house deposit would be mine. It might be completely unrealistic these days, but when I left university, DH & I bought our first house together within a year, having saved the 10% deposit to get a mortgage. We didn't live with parents, or rent free during this time, but I wouldn't hesitate to allow my children to do so if they were driven by a goal like this, which might mean they saved 80%+ of their income for instance. The possible rent would not benefit my life in the way it would impact theirs.

Anyway, people seem to be very divided here. I can see both sides and think it depends on circumstances. I also wonder if there's any financial correlation: ie do high income and low income parents feel the same, or does one group feel more passionately about charging something than the other?

Funky_Bold_Ribena

AlexLK wrote: »

We shall give him an allowance when he is older for that type of thing.

My wife and I are not planning on having anymore children.

Wouldn't it be better to pay your debts off first and then save for your son? Does he need £12k at age 3?

duchy

We all hope our children won't repeat our mistakes. Once your child reaches eighteen they will have full access to the money and you ...like your parents before you....won't have any say in what they do with that money.
Are you not risking history repeating itself ... putting the money into your child's name rather than in yours where you can retain control until your child is mature enough not to blow it....... at eighteen they may be really sensible and already thinking ahead towards a mortgage...or they may be enjoying wine, women and song ...... you just don't know !