How much board should I be paying?

paulineb_2

poet123 wrote: »

I am not in support of PO views necessarily. There are areas of broad agreement but by no means are we in full agreement. That aside, your post is bitter and comes across as vitriolic. With a tinge of the green eyed monster thrown in for good measure.

It is an achievement to be on the property ladder at 24 these days. PO should be applauded for that not derided. She will have security of tenure in her old age and something to pass to her own children should she choose to have any. Much better than being at the mercy of a LL or change of Govt policy if in social housing.

She was fortunate her parents allowed her to live at home for a peppercorn rent whilst she saved for a deposit. She saved and did that though and didn't blow the chance on high living. I imagine her parents were proud of her for being disciplined enough to do that.

There is more than one way to approach an issue.

Its also ok to live in social or council housing as far as Im concerned.

Everyone has different views on this issue. If I had been living at home with my mum for years on a full time wage I would have given her something, it would have been a struggle to get her to take it, but she supported me through uni, through being unemployed.

But as has already been said, some of us couldnt afford to pay rent when we were at home. I didnt start earning what I would call decent money until I was 31 or 32 and even before then, I was in a managerial position, but the money wasnt fantastic.

However, I do think its much better if families can sit down and work out what suits them, individually, rather than saying, you must pay your parents this amount or that amount.

Some parents wont need it. I had an ex bf whose family are rolling in money, he refused to contribute anything when his son was away at uni (in those days some parents paid a parental contribution), he worked at home in the summer holidays in the family business for not a lot of cash. His family were penny pinching even though they were worth a fortune

While my mums attitude has been, if I have it spare, you can have it. There were times when my mum needed help financially, due to issues with her employer and my gran helped her out. My mum's helped me out in times Ive needed it. But when Ive had money Ive done things for them, I treated my mum and gran when I was doing ok financially and had money to spare.

And because I didnt have enough spare cash at uni to give my mum extra, it didnt cause me any problems with budgeting, Im not reckless with money, Im actually sensible with it. Ive had pension plans since I was in my 20s, Ive had savings plans, my mum encouraged me to do that.

I think the issue for some parents would be, if they spoil their kids so much that when the child gets to a certain age its just demand this and demand that. Its been spoken about on other threads on here. Thats going to create massive problems in the future.

A family sitting down and deciding not to charge an adult or a teen rent isnt an automatic given that that person is going to be come awful with money or its a bad parenting decision.

My mum is an excellent parent, she just doesnt believe in charging someone rent as soon as they turn 16/get a job. Other parents are of the opposite view and thats absolutely ok.

poet123

duchy wrote: »

It makes me chuckle..whenever anyone disagrees with poet-the accusation of "bitter" is usually rolled out :rotfl:

I don't think I have ever used the word before, and if I have it is certainly not enough for you to make that statement. Perhaps you can actually substantiate it though!! If not it does seem rather a silly comment to make.;)

poet123

paulineb wrote: »

Its also ok to live in social or council housing as far as Im concerned.

.

Of course it is OK, that wasn't my point. My point was that no other option is as secure as being a homeowner. With renting you are subject to the whims of a LL and with social housing come the vagaries of political policy.

barbarawright

AlexLK wrote: »

The debts are being paid off, thank you. I have been rather stupid with money until very recently all my life. However, the current £32k's worth of debt was the "final straw". Last time I found myself in debt, my parents ended up bailing me out; which in truth was perhaps the wrong thing to do as I'm finally facing up to this now my wife and I are facing the consequences.



The money will not remain in his name indefinitely.

If it's in his name, isn't it his? Are you allowed to take it back?

paulineb_2

poet123 wrote: »

Of course it is OK, that wasn't my point. My point was that no other option is as secure as being a homeowner. With renting you are subject to the whims of a LL and with social housing come the vagaries of political policy.

Its not secure being a homeowner if you lose your job and cant pay the mortage though is it? Its happened to plenty of people.

Im in a council house and I have an assured tenancy, its very secure.
Im much more secure in the home Im in at the moment than if I had taken on a mortgage and had difficulty paying it when I got made redundant which did happen to me

I do agree about private renting though.

poet123

duchy wrote: »

Bear in mind the OP is not borrowing £6K a year -a substantial part is a grant so not repayable.

One thing that strikes me is that the student support package is probably too high if students are able to save such substantial amounts in certain circumstances. Perhaps like benefits if people are also working these "benefits" (the grant part not the loan part) should be reduced on a pound for pound basis above a minimal level ?

(and before I'm accused of anti-studentism.... I'm a mature student who also works so my suggestion would directly impact me financially -I'm aware my grant and bursary make studying very attraactive)

Student funding for undergrads living in a family unit is based on parental income though not on the personal income of the student.

poet123

paulineb wrote: »

Its not secure being a homeowner if you lose your job and cant pay the mortage though is it? Its happened to plenty of people.

Im in a council house and I have an assured tenancy, its very secure.
Im much more secure in the home Im in at the moment than if I had taken on a mortgage and had difficulty paying it when I got made redundant which did happen to me

I do agree about private renting though.

Can you not get into rent arrears then in a council house? If you lose your job and could not pay the mortgage that (interest only I believe) would be paid from benefits surely? Or you could sell and move somewhere cheaper.

You have much more autonomy over your position if you are a homeowner, ask those falling foul of the so called bedroom tax.

KiKi

OP, I think you're doing great. I also don't subscribe to the whole 'what would you pay if you lived elsewhere' theory when you're a student. And good on you for maxing out your loan in order to make interest on it. That's what some working adults do with stoozing (I do it with my mortgage which has a rock bottom interest rate, and make a nice little profit in savings instead). I hope you work it out with your mum.

My parents funded me through uni, so I had no debts coming out. I had money in the bank I'd saved up up from working instead. I worked full time every Summer, every Easter and every Christmas. My parents never asked for board during the holidays, and it honestly never occurred to me to offer my parents money for board. Not because I'm awful and thoughtless and horrid, but because I was young, sheltered and wasn't working, and genuinely didn't think things through that far.

When I finished uni I never went home again. And - shock horror, despite never having paid board to my parents, or never having to worry about living costs at uni - I have survived very well indeed! I got a job, saved up, bought my first flat when I was 22, and am very financially savvy. I managed my money extremely carefully, and still do.

I have never taken a penny off my parents since. I take them out for lunch and dinner whenever I see them. I have offered money when they've needed it to fix their boiler / roof etc. When my dad fixed some stuff in my house for me I paid him (very well!) to do it. And I will take care of them financially when they're older. Their kindness in putting me through uni hasn't made me 'useless' in the 'real world'. It meant I could save up and make my way in the world without them.

Every family's circumstances are different. But IF a family chooses not to charge their student children board, and doesn't need a contribution from them, that's their prerogative. It doesn't mean those children are going to end up completely incapable of managing a budget. I was never taught budgeting, but I am a very logical, pragmatic and spreadsheet-driven person, so I naturally worked it all out myself - some of it is also down to the sort of person that child is.

There's no right or wrong - it has to be down to family needs, and the sort of person the 'child' is, including their behaviour and attitude.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

AlexLK wrote: »

The debts are being paid off, thank you. I have been rather stupid with money until very recently all my life. However, the current £32k's worth of debt was the "final straw".

The money will not remain in his name indefinitely.

Hmmm...you have paid off £65 of them judging by your signature.

Unless his money is getting a better interest rate than your debts; you really are robbing Peter to pay Paul on this; I'm not being rude just seems a bit ridiculous to have all that money tied up when it's not going to be touched for 20 odd years. You could bring your debt down to about £10k if you used the money your signature says you have with the £12k - saving yourself the interest and getting yourself debt free a whole lot quicker.

thorsoak

mumps wrote: »

OK, the way you were talking about what you were doing and poll tax it sounded like they never left. Certainly your first two didn't have tuition fees then, probably number 3 as well. Kids now are in a very different position, leaving with 20 or 30 k of debt, in a couple of years many will be leaving with over 40 k of debt. Would you want them to add to that so that they could pay more board? I wouldn't, I have done everything I can to ensure mine have little or no debt when they leave uni. I know that isn't always possible but then kids from the poorest home will get grants and maybe bursaries as well so that makes up a bit for what parents can't or won't do. The students I know who stay at home do it to save money and their parents help as much as they can. I think the OP is to be congratulated on working hard, doing a degree and earning £600 a month is more than alot can manage.

Once again, my children did NOT contribute towards household expenses whilst at Uni! - they only contributed a proportion of the running costs divided by the number of people in the household which was calculated against their earnings - for maximum of 18-24 months after they left uni whilst saving for their own homes.