living together before marriage

continualdiamond

Well I really broke the rules. I met my husband online and in order for us to see if we'd work out in person I moved from Australia to the UK when I was 21. We met in person in Jan 03 & spent 6 weeks together I then moved here in the April, moving in with him & his parents.

Stayed living here until middle of 2004 and then rented our own place. Bought a place in 2006 and got engaged not long after, didn't get married until 2011, now awaiting the arrival of our 1st baby.

Wouldn't change a thing, it worked for us and I know people would of disapproved/probably do having read this, but oh well, we're happy.

FBaby

now awaiting the arrival of our 1st baby.

Gosh, you must be ready to pop now, that's what 10 days over due!! Wishing you a predictable and manageable birth any day diamond.

Simstar84

I've been with my OH for 3 years now, living together 6 1/2 months, Were an unmarried couple. Marriage doesn't solve not one problem in a relationship, not one. I think it escalates the ongoing crisis at that time in your relationship, be it money, children etc. In your mind you have to be prepared for anything.

If your not fully prepared for what lies ahead, future wont be bright.

Simstar84

I've been with my OH for 3 years now, living together 6 1/2 months, Were an unmarried couple. Marriage doesn't solve not one problem in a relationship, not one. I think it escalates the ongoing crisis at that time in your relationship, be it money, children etc. In your mind you have to be prepared for anything.

If your not fully prepared for what lies ahead, future wont be bright.

Hiddenidenity

I lived with my first partner from leaving home at 14 to being 20, had 2 kids and then we went separate ways.

I then married my next partner and then moved in with him, we would still be together if he hadn't passed away.

I won't ever get married again even though I'm only 23 now.

gayleygoo

I've lived with OH for 7 years, we have two children and are not married, we never even considered it. I can see why some religious people might see that as a problem, but we are not at all religious and nothing bad will come from us remaining unmarried (well, one of us may not be entitled to inherit anything should the other partner die, but I see it as more of a fault with the legal system that allows ancient religious practices to affect modern life in that way.)

Does being married make a person more "moral"? What's wrong with people being happy together for as long as they can be, and if it doesn't work out there are no costly legal fees necessary and life can carry on.

Actually, I would quite like to get married, but only because I feel like I'm missing out on having a celebration of the love that we have for each other. I wouldn't do it because I felt I *should*.

duchy

I think it's one thing to move in with someone seeing a future with them .....but I know several people who seem to move in together within weeks ....and a few months down the line split up .....and repeat. One girl I know in her mid twenties has had six relationships like this.

sharnad

I think it's best to live together befor marriage and see how you get along. So are you going to support her in doing what you did

Slightly_Squiffy

My fiance and I are doing things completely the other way around. We don't live together and we still won't live together after we're married. He will live in the flat we are hopefully about to purchase and I will live in my accommodation that I'm provided as part of my work contract!

I wanted to retain my independence for as long as possible and since we have never had to consider the financial implications of not living together, it's made our choice to get married a very deliberate one instead of one that has been made for us by extenuating circumstances.

redfragglebiker

We are getting married in 2015 and we do live together but the way it happened wasn't really planned! I had a job with tied accomodation and the management were getting worse and worse, asking me to work ridiculous hours, adding things in that were nowhere near in my remit for work etc. I put up with it for so long but the more I gave the more they wanted to take and it was making me seriously depressed and ill. I was speaking to the OH about it and he offered that I could move in for a short period so I had somewhere to stay whilst jobhunting and if I wanted after that I could move out again when I had another job sorted. It only took me about 6 weeks to find another job but in that time we'd both got used to living together so we both sat down and talked about it and I decided to stay. The fact that OH could afford the flat we were living in at the time with all the bills etc on just his wage meant we could put all of my wages into a savings account and this then ended up being the deposit for the house we bought last year.
Having said that though I do think we would have ended up living together before marriage anyway. We do retain our own independance pretty well in some things (eg we still have seperate bank accounts and both pay in a set sum each month to the one joint account we have which is only used for the MNortgage and bills etc)