living together before marriage

This_Year

I lived with my first husband before we married; back in the 1980s. My mother was horrified as to what the neighbours/church friends would say.

She was even more horrified when I divorced him.

I've been living with my OH for a few years now; we do intend to marry but what with one thing and another it's not happened yet. My mother is as disapproving I believe.

Skintski

I don't see how you can 100% know someone until you have lived with them. Jumping into a commitment like marriage without knowing all there is to know about your partner just seems a bit bonkers.

Torry_Quine

Skintski wrote: »

I don't see how you can 100% know someone until you have lived with them. Jumping into a commitment like marriage without knowing all there is to know about your partner just seems a bit bonkers.

If you waited until you 'know all there is to know' then you would never marry as there is always something you don't know!

Gloomendoom

Skintski wrote: »

I don't see how you can 100% know someone until you have lived with them. Jumping into a commitment like marriage without knowing all there is to know about your partner just seems a bit bonkers.

Bonkers or not, it's worked for us. Mrs G only moved in with me after we were married.

It worked for our parents and grandparents too.

Stephb1986_2

Me and H2B don't currently live together as his house needs a lot of work doing to it and I still work from home so logistics aren't that simple coupled with a load more other reasons.

We do live together at weekends and done so for the last 7 years it's just how we have go use to things. I will have to move in with him after the wedding and we're planning to do it house up and sell it.

Steph xx

lollipopsarah

Well we lived together for 2 years before we married (grotty bedsit and then first flat) I don't suppose our parents were happy about it but we are still together 32 years later.
I don't know about the norm but with weddings being so expensive and no tax breaks anymore I can understand couples not wanting to take the plunge.
xx

tinkerbellkirst

I think it has become the norm now. But also I think it's logistics that play a part in it too, people love farther away now for uni's etc so can't always be living with parents for longer. People also marry older than they used to and it's more expensive to marry now so relationships tend to have been going on longer than they would have done when marrying first was 'the norm'.

I don't think it makes too much difference as long as the couple are happy. We did everything backwards, had children first, hen lived together, and now we will marry. Not saying its the right way and I didn't plan it all out this way, it's just the way it happened, but we're happy with it

penguin83

My Mum and Dad bought their house in 1981 but didn't move in until they were married in 1982. OH and I have no intention of getting married so we happily live in sin instead! x

sleepymans

Either seems normal to me...what the statistics are, haven't a clue.

I lived with both my husbands before marrying and tbh don't think it made any difference to the success or otherwise of each marriage.

So much changes in a relationship over the years that you cant know how the other will react, change or behave in the future.

The only thing I find repugnant is OTHER people putting pressure on friends and family to run their lives for them. In this day and age are will still so concerned "what the neighbours (or whoever) will say"??

Call me immature if you wish, but if anyone tried to pressure me about such a life decision, then I would take great pleasure in doing exactly as I and partner wished.

shegirl

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It's sadly pretty much the norm now.

Ahh,the old romantic in me (that's top secret) loves the idea of it not happening until married.