Vent - Sexism within schools - Boys & Earrings

elmer

When my son wore a skirt to school recently (for a dare) he was sent home to change as it was too short!!!!

I just laughed and made sure he made up the lesson, perhaps I should complain to the school that it was being sexist not allowing him to "express his personality in a skirt"

elmer x

k12479

reason2 wrote: »

Also, i think OP is doing the best thing..

he has give his son all options, made sure he is informed on the potential outcomes of all options, told him to make his own mind up and which ever decision he makes he has full support of the parents.

Grade A parenting if you ask me..

much better than the "i am your father you will do as i say" approach in this instance

Really? You think breaking the rules once, getting caught, breaking them again, getting caught and then complaining about the rules is an approach that should be fully supported? In this case, nothing significant is likely to happen, but that then sets a precedent that 'rules don't apply to me' and if you don't like the consequences, complain. But next time, that will be verbal warning, written warning...

k12479

reason2 wrote: »

This simply is not true..

In 11 years of working in head offices for places like the BBC, marks and spencers, Halifax, Esure, Manchester united.. i have never ever ever once been told to remove my lip stud or my upper ear stud.

Neither have any men who have studs.

Well, not every single office, across the whole country, obviously. It is going to depend on what kind of job you do. What is passable on the floor of a call centre is not going to be acceptable in the boardroom, or even on certain shop floors.

Rev

warehouse wrote: »

Bingo.

OP, you need to be backing up the school on this and not your son.

The OP needs to back up the school and show her son that she supports sexism?

If we're learning the basics in school as another poster said. This school is teaching OP's son that sexism is a-okay. So when he starts being sexist when he gets older who is to blame? School for showing him its acceptable or OP for backing them up?

Sorry. If they were banned altogether then fair enough. But if girls can wear them. Boys should be allowed to as well.

Have you contacted the school about this OP?

If it were my son I'd back him all the way. It's a stud. Not a massive gauge or huge hoop.

Rev

k12479 wrote: »

Really? You think breaking the rules once, getting caught, breaking them again, getting caught and then complaining about the rules is an approach that should be fully supported? In this case, nothing significant is likely to happen, but that then sets a precedent that 'rules don't apply to me' and if you don't like the consequences, complain. But next time, that will be verbal warning, written warning...

No. It sets the president of 'I will not support sexism or have/be any part of it'. If your place if work suddenly introduced a rule that stated you had to wear pink tutu's to work, as it was now official dress code. I assume you'd get yourself down the ballet shop and stock up? Or would you not do that, go to work in normal clothes and complain about the utter ridiculousness of the rule?

Some rules are outdated and need to be challenged. Imagine where we'd be if people just went a long with every rule/law and nobody challenged things they found unacceptable.

Rev

iltisman wrote: »

Not much point in educating him,if he went for a decent job interview with bits of metal hanging off him he would be at a great disadvantage.

Lovely sweeping generalisation there. Because nobody with any piercing ever made anything of themselves and all employers are stuffy fat cats who don't look past appearance or pay any attention to skill and potential.

Take the boy out of school. With that pierced ear he might as well just sign on now!

Or, you know, not.

JReacher1

Rev wrote: »

The OP needs to back up the school and show her son that she supports sexism?

If we're learning the basics in school as another poster said. This school is teaching OP's son that sexism is a-okay. So when he starts being sexist when he gets older who is to blame? School for showing him its acceptable or OP for backing them up?

Sorry. If they were banned altogether then fair enough. But if girls can wear them. Boys should be allowed to as well.

Have you contacted the school about this OP?

If it were my son I'd back him all the way. It's a stud. Not a massive gauge or huge hoop.

Massively over the top. As I've already posted the equality website does not consider banning earrings on school boys as sexist.

I hope "rev" means your a member of the CofE which bans female bishops .....

Azari

JReacher1 wrote: »

Massively over the top. As I've already posted the equality website does not consider banning earrings on school boys as sexist.

But allowing someone who states that white is actually black to shape your viewpoint is going to get you into a lot of difficulty if you're trying to find a zebra crossings.

If you have one rule for girls and one rule for boys, that is very clearly discrimination.

Whether there is some valid reason to allow that discrimination is another matter.

In this instance there isn't: There is no need for either sex to wear earrings so you have a simple choice - ban them or allow them.

Remember, the site you quoted is only offering an opinion and the most salient sentence is this: "There have been no decided cases about dress codes in school and the outcome of a legal challenge would be uncertain."

It would no doubt depend a great deal on the skill with which opposing lawyers argued their case but I find it hard to believe that any reasonable judge could disagree that allowing a set of rules which allows one gender free rein to modify their appearance in certain ways to express their personality, whilst denying that privilege to the other, is unacceptable discrimination.

On the other hand, I still think that in this instance, the school is helping the boys avoid making themselves look like dicks.

JReacher1

I'm sticking with what the equality website says on the issue.

On a side note women and men have never had equal rights. There have always been differences between the sexes.

JReacher1

It also quoted.
"
it is likely to be lawful to deny boys the option of having long hair or wearing earrings"