Feeling very low

jamesml

Thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear it hasn't worked out (at least at the moment) but sometimes things just don't work out. Am going through something similar myself at the moment and whilst your situation didn't have the resolution I'm hoping might come eventually - I can see my situation turning out the same as yours unfortunately. Sometimes things aren't meant to be regardless of how good they feel at the time - another place, another time, and maybe it would have worked out. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like the timing was quite right.

red_devil

Wouldnt be suprisrd if he tries to contact you though.

Kabazzzz

Sorry to hear you are going through something similar jamesml - it really sucks. I still think that if he hadn't moved away, we'd probably have gotten back together.


However, he has and this is the way it is and I have to accept it. Although I am now starting to think that the girl in the pic might be one of his best mates (who lives abroad and he doesn't see too regularly and so I never had the chance to meet her). It doesn't change things though.


Red devil - I know he'll be in touch at some point. We do still have a connection it just isn't strong enough.


I'm not even sure that I have time for a bloke anyway! I miss male company but other than that, I actually enjoy being single... and me and girls have just booked a girly holiday :T

Orlando_Virgin

paulineb wrote: »

If you arent prepared to tell him to leave you alone, be prepared for some serious heartache down the line. My situation wasnt that we worked together, but we went to the same college, in the end while he was on a placement year out I left and went to one nearer my home town (not due to him, other reasons)

I also saw a lot of him socially as two of my friends were engaged to two of his. It was just awful, theres no other way to describe it, when you see someone that you loved and I did love this guy, out on nights out and you arent together anymore, I spent years with him fluctuating between him telling me he had definitely made the right decision, to getting upset, crying, saying he loved me.

Im sure he did in his own way, the last time I saw him was 10 years ago in a pub, even then he was saying, he would look me up, he didnt and Im glad of that, because it took long enough to get over and that was because not only was he always around, I tried to be friends, but we couldnt be, there was no way, we had been too close and it just wouldnt have worked.

You cant help the fact that you work together, but be very aware if you dont cut contact outside of work, you will end up in a situation where either you have this half relationship where its over but neither of you can let go, or you have to wait and see that person meet other people, see them as partners, its tough, totally tough

I took years to get over someone when a clean break of 6 months or so would have helped tremendously.

Please dont pin all your hopes on one person, because no matter how well you get on, if he wanted you to be his gf, you would be.

I was gonna write something but this post says it all for me, I have had a very similar experience and these are wise, wise words. Time is the only healer you have, and getting back to being happy on your own is so, so vital. As the months pass, it does get better but you need to give yourself that chance by breaking contact.

If it's at all possible I would always say to people that you need a complete break to be successful, as little reminder of their existence as you can, as harsh as that sounds. I think the hardest thing to do when you break off with someone if you truly loved them is to be selfish, because you are so used to having their feelings in your consideration.