We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Starting out in life

11112131517

Comments

  • sulphate
    sulphate Posts: 1,235 Forumite
    Person_one wrote: »
    For plenty of couples getting married, spending a lot of money is just not an option, because they don't have a lot of money! Most still manage to have lovely celebrations with their friends and families.

    I don't think anyone is disputing this? And things like place cards don't cost very much but things like dresses do.
    There is never enough money for everything, sadly, and a gathering of friends in a family garden, or your own home, is really pretty practical and romantic IMO.in the way a gathering at many less luxury wedding venues just cannot be. I'm an all or nothing type person though, so that's why what we did worked for us and won't work for everyone.

    But not everyone has large gardens that they can host events in. Plus I got married in March when it snowed, good luck in having a BBQ in that weather. :rotfl:
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Dresses dont have to cost a fortune, there are several sites that do wedding dresses for £150 or less.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    There's also no rule that you have to wear a dress marketed as a 'wedding dress', you're allowed to wear anything you want!

    My friend will probably be going the ebay route, after trying on a few in shops to get an idea of what sort of style/fit she wants.
  • lostinrates
    lostinrates Posts: 55,283 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    sulphate wrote: »
    I don't think anyone is disputing this? And things like place cards don't cost very much but things like dresses do.



    But not everyone has large gardens that they can host events in. Plus I got married in March in the snow, good luck in having a BBQ in that weather. :rotfl:

    You don't have to get married at any particular time of year...unless there is a particular sentimental reason to, (in fact, some times of year are cheaper to , and days of the week, aren't they?) and it doesn't have to be a HUGE garden if your alternative is a not huge do in a traditional venue....

    Our families were actually planning a big wedding when DH and I slipped of and tied the knot. DH and I were particularly lucky as quite a few people were offering us lovely venues as wedding gifts or just to be nice. Rejecting these for our favoured big wedding venue ( field with straw bales to sit on, was always going to be a little tricky:rotfl:.
  • Person_one wrote: »
    There's also no rule that you have to wear a dress marketed as a 'wedding dress', you're allowed to wear anything you want!
    Yup, I bought a lovely olive green dress to get married in. It wasn't cheap, but every time I've worn it since, the price of our wedding comes down:D. Planning on making it last at least another 5 yrs of other people weddings/big events.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • sulphate
    sulphate Posts: 1,235 Forumite
    edited 16 September 2013 at 2:00PM
    You don't have to get married at any particular time of year...unless there is a particular sentimental reason to, (in fact, some times of year are cheaper to , and days of the week, aren't they?) and it doesn't have to be a HUGE garden if your alternative is a not huge do in a traditional venue....

    Nope, that's why we got married in March, to save money :)
    Haha, I wasn't exaggerating about the size of garden available to us at the time. If we combined my husband's parents' garden with my parents', the space left would probably comfortably admit...oh, about 15 people.

    People don't realize the real costs of things, we thought we would get married in September because it's cheaper, but actually from April - October the prices are roughly the same, the prices are higher in December too. And yes weekdays are cheaper days to get married on, not only because of the costs of things, but also because you can expect a large number of your guests not to attend. ;)

    If you have a garden wedding, you really have to have it in the summer, when catering (amongst other) costs are higher, but you can't really have a garden wedding in the middle of January, when catering costs will be lower.

    My point is not that you have to spend a lot, because you don't but you can get amazing deals. However you don't realise the true cost of the wedding you want until you actually start planning it. This is something I realised and so did a few people i know.
  • paulineb_2
    paulineb_2 Posts: 6,489 Forumite
    Even oxfam do wedding dresses, some of them are brand new with tags.

    http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/bridal
  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    edited 16 September 2013 at 2:10PM
    We scrimped on some bits of the wedding but I splurged on the dress! I have seen some absolutely lovely ones from high streets which look just as good as from a tailormade bridal shop, in fact you probably couldn't tell the difference!

    We got married on a Thursday in April and saved a packet. We were only inviting family, not friends, and in my mind if someone refused to take the day off to come to our wedding, then they obviously weren't that bothered about us! Most of our family are retired anyway and we have no one for whom taking a couple of days off would be a problem, so if someone refused then it was merely because they couldn't be bothered. The mark-up for the weekend was absolutely astonishing, and if I had on a weekend I'd be 'sharing' the hotel with another bride (big no for me - it's my day!)

    I made our postbox, seating plan (the one they display), invitations, place cards. We kept numbers really little, so instead of having the economy choices for food and lots of people we didn't really care about, we had family and the nicest food.

    I LOVE the idea of a DIY reception and I sort of regret not doing it ourselves! Have the reception at your house or a close family member's (bigger!) house, you and OH handmake the whole buffet and everyone brings a bottle of wine. I think this is a lovely, intimate thing, perfect if you have <20 guests, or more if you or someone close has a large 'estate'!

    I can understand big weddings if you have big familys, but I really don't understand when people invite someone they met two years ago, or someone they work with and hate yet feel they have to invite. You don't care about them, they don't care about you, why pay for them to be fed and watered?

    We didn't invite any cousins, mainly because they were either at uni or simply because we don't know them well enough, some live close, some live hundreds of miles away. We only had parents, aunties and uncles, grandparents. I'm sure we ***ed a few people off, but honestly I couldn't give a toss as I was never a bridezilla and did lots of things on a whim as it was -our- day.

    For example, we miscalculated the numbers and had two more slots available, so I invited my MIL's friend and husband who I got on with really well and she really is the life and soul of the party so thought she'd get things 'going' per se. I'm sure there was a lot of gossip of how dare I invite a friend and no cousins when I said it was family only, but so what, how bloody petty. I also miscalculated how many chair coverings and half were naked for the reception, but we had a laugh about it and I still snigger at my mistake years on! So don't worry about it, things will and do go wrong, it's only one day, make it YOUR day, not your aunt's cousin's son's day!
  • FatVonD
    FatVonD Posts: 5,315 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    On the subject of invites, I'm a designer so could reasonably have been expected to design my own but I bought mine from Tesco and they were lovely! I have been browsing Etsy a lot lately and have seen designers on there that will personalise a pre-designed wedding invite for you and send you the PDF to print it onto card on your own printer for less than £10.

    I can't help but think that when people talk about saving money on their invites/favours etc they're just nibbling at the edges of money saving, (a bit like buying value cornflakes while still paying £70 per month for Sky!) There are far greater amounts to be saved elsewhere (venue/dress/day of the week etc.)
    Make £25 a day in April £0/£750 (March £584, February £602, January £883.66)

    December £361.54, November £322.28, October £288.52, September £374.30, August £223.95, July £71.45, June £251.22, May£119.33, April £236.24, March £106.74, Feb £40.99, Jan £98.54) Total for 2017 - £2,495.10
  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    FatVonD wrote: »
    On the subject of invites, I'm a designer so could reasonably have been expected to design my own but I bought mine from Tesco and they were lovely! I have been browsing Etsy a lot lately and have seen designers on there that will personalise a pre-designed wedding invite for you and send you the PDF to print it onto card on your own printer for less than £10.

    I can't help but think that when people talk about saving money on their invites/favours etc they're just nibbling at the edges of money saving, (a bit like buying value cornflakes while still paying £70 per month for Sky!) There are far greater amounts to be saved elsewhere (venue/dress/day of the week etc.)

    Agree, but when I went to a wedding shop for them to price up my invites, they wanted £200 for 50.... I bought some nice cream card and a bit of lace and a calligraphy pen and did them for under £20!!
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.4K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.