Starting out in life

tattycath

We had a wedding that cost about 2.5k and although we were limited as to numbers we could invite-we had a great wedding. We don't think it would have made it more enjoyable even if we'd had a lavish expensive do. My parents paid for the food etc-but it was up to me and the groom who we invited. We got married late in the afternoon so we only had one after party.
The 2.5k included the money my parents put in and the wedding cake that was bought for us as a wedding gift by dear friends of ours. We had money towards the photos from 2 guests and I did loads of research to get the best price I could on everything.
As many have said-you don't have to spend a fortune to have a great wedding. x

fay144

I didn't really add any practical advice when I posted before, so just to add a few wee things I found (because contrary to popular opinion, you actually don't get much for 6k!):

- I made my own invites, and regretted it. I am quite arty, and enjoy stuff like that, but by the time you buy all the bits and pieces, it actually ended up costing more than a set of cheap off the shelf invites. It turned into a bit of an exercise in "look at me and how hard I'm working to save money for my wedding", and ended up saving nothing.

- My MIL made my cake, which was kind of her, and turned out great, but it's not cheap to make a cake. I didn't really care that much about the cake (I don't understand wedding cakes - why do you need a cake if you have pudding? No one could explain to me what the point in us cutting a cake was) and I don't believe anyone would have noticed if we hadn't bothered at all. My advice is not to do anything just because it's traditional - actually think about whether you want it first.

- I bought an ex-sample dress which cost £200. I think this is better than buying a dress from ebay, as you can try it on before you buy, and you know where it came from (ebay can have cheap copies of designer dresses made in sweatshops in asia). Plus you have the experienced shop keeper there to tell you exactly what height of heels to buy to avoid altering the dress, etc.

- I spent a lot of effort worrying about wedding favours, and a lot of time making up boxes to put chocolates in, etc, and no one noticed. So don't worry about things like that!

- We organised our wedding so we didn't need any transport (other than a bus for the guests). This saves a lot.

- We made table centre displays up ourselves the day before, so the only flowers we needed from the florist were my bouquet and some button holes. This also saved a lot, and didn't take too much effort.

- We chose a venue without an alcohol licience, and just bought in all the booze ourselves on sale-or-return. So we managed to supply free drink all day and night for the same price most hotels would charge for a few glasses of wine with the meal, and a drink for the toast. Might not be practical with your venue though.

- My OH hired his kilt, and regretted it - he's hired one so many times since, he would have been better buying one, and actually did so this year.

- We found a photographer who was just starting out, who was very cheap. He was good, but I didn't care that much about the photos (I'd have done without, tbh) so it wasn't much of a risk.

polgara

I think it all boils down to 'getting value for money'. My partner has a DJ business and we've noticed quite a change - lots of people are using Itunes as a DJ rather than pay a professional but on the other hand more people are booking bands/entertainment. Its really based on what people are wanting from the ceremony/celebration.

As long as you are clear about what you want from the wedding - is it small, intimate or more about a big party then you want to know whatever you have picked that you are getting the best deal.

Isn't that what we are here for - not to criticise people's choices but help them get it at a price they are comfortable with?

claire16c

£6k for a wedding for 85 guests is a pretty good price. 200 evening guests seems way over the top to me - normally you have a few extra people not more than twice the number! But then I'm guessing as you're having a hog roast it wouldn't save much anyway.

I'd have the wedding you want & then continue saving to get a better deposit. The government scheme is only for new builds only which are always over priced anyway. I don't see why you don't spend another year saving your £500 a month then you'd have another £6k. Rather than rushing to do everything all at once.

Then you also Won't be restricted as to what houses you can buy.

sulphate

I agree with daisiegg.

As for making things yourself, yes this is a viable option if you have the SKILL and TIME to do so.. someone I know got married last weekend and everyone on FB is raving about the "amazing bridesmaids dresses she spent a long time making". She has never worked! I work full time and I found it pretty insulting when people who have never worked told me that I could "cut costs" by making some things myself. One of my other friends did do this, and made intricate hand knitted place cards for each of her guests, she works full time, and each one took 2 hours and she had probably over 100 guests, so that's 200 hours.... I'm pretty sure she regretted that.

And actually, although we did make a few things ourselves, the cost of it was about the same as getting someone else to do it. The invites, for example, I would have made, but it worked out the same (and they looked nicer) for us to get them done professionally (although we still went for the basic option).

persa

polgara wrote: »

Isn't that what we are here for - not to criticise people's choices but help them get it at a price they are comfortable with?

Yes, but how will the OP buy a house for only £10k? Because that's what he'll be left with.

I don't think a £6k wedding and a house is realistic with only £16k in total.

Person_one

daisiegg wrote: »

M&S cakes is something that keeps coming up - people seem to assume they are really cheap....well, check out how much they really cost http://www.marksandspencer.com/Wedding-Cakes-Food-To-Order-Food-Wine/b/72561031. I think a lot of the people trying to offer money saving wedding advice (not all of them of course, but some) haven't actually tried to cost out planning a wedding today, and would be very surprised if they did.

Am I missing something here, I can see a traditional wedding cake, and the biggest size is £56 to serve 152 people, smaller ones much cheaper.

I'm not planning my own wedding, but I am currently helping a friend who earns a pittance plan a very low budget one. I'll be wearing a seriously cheap bridesmaid dress and doing my own hair and makeup, which she may live to regret!

I don't agree with the 'bigger the wedding, shorter the marriage' idea, that's unfair, but I do think you might be taking some posts a bit too personally. Weddings have definitely gone a bit mad in recent years, bigger, bolder, more expensive, more pressure etc.

lostinrates

I think if you compare daisygg's sort of income bracket (daisy not being offensive, i know you say, as I often do about my household, that you know you are 'comfortable') with lots of people's and then look at the MSE things SHE says she did it puts lots of other weddings on smaller incomes into perspective.

If a wedding is that important, than by all means prioritise it. To me, my marriage is far more important than a wedding could ever have been. Do I sometimes wish I'd had a 'big day'? Honestly, yes I do....but the times are rare. My husband and I had a romantic tiny day, where we got ready together , held hands all day and and set the tone for the rest of our lives. We were no blushing virgins, lived together for a couple of years before marriage, it was simply a formality of what we felt, a commitment legally that we had already made emotionally, spiritually.

There is never enough money for everything, sadly, and a gathering of friends in a family garden, or your own home, is really pretty practical and romantic IMO.in the way a gathering at many less luxury wedding venues just cannot be. I'm an all or nothing type person though, so that's why what we did worked for us and won't work for everyone.


Good luck op.

Person_one

sulphate wrote: »

I agree with daisiegg.

As for making things yourself, yes this is a viable option if you have the SKILL and TIME to do so.. someone I know got married last weekend and everyone on FB is raving about the "amazing bridesmaids dresses she spent a long time making". She has never worked! I work full time and I found it pretty insulting when people who have never worked told me that I could "cut costs" by making some things myself. One of my other friends did do this, and made intricate hand knitted place cards for each of her guests, she works full time, and each one took 2 hours and she had probably over 100 guests, so that's 200 hours.... I'm pretty sure she regretted that.

And actually, although we did make a few things ourselves, the cost of it was about the same as getting someone else to do it. The invites, for example, I would have made, but it worked out the same (and they looked nicer) for us to get them done professionally (although we still went for the basic option).

You don't have to have an army of crafty friends though, if you don't want to spend a fortune on invitations, and you don't have a friend who'll make them, just get cheap invitations! Nobody would think any less of you for getting a pack of pre-printed ones from a stationers.

If you don't know anybody who will make place cards, or centrepieces, or favours, none of those things are compulsory, are they? The frills can make a wedding look beautiful, but all that really matters is the ceremony, a bit of food, plenty to drink and some dancing. When I think back to weddings where I had a great day, that's what I remember, not the tiny bag of sugared almonds or the ornamental birdcages!

For plenty of couples getting married, spending a lot of money is just not an option, because they don't have a lot of money! Most still manage to have lovely celebrations with their friends and families.

paulineb_2

Tbh anything Ive said on here was a suggestion, no more and no less. I even copied and pasted a thread on here where someone had got married and spent £3500, was aiming for a budget of £3000 but went over.

Any advice or suggestions can be taken or absolutely disregarded. But as other people have said, it is a money saving site, it would be a dull world if we all agreed and the reason I said what I said about facebook groups was because Im self employed myself, I advertise my business on these groups, I regularly see people posting saying they do hair, make up, nails etc.

I have a friend who is qualified in massage and she also does bridal make up. Thats her second job, she doesnt charge a fortune and no, not everyone will have someone they know who does certain things but if people go on these groups you will often see people posting who are qualified, newly and want experience. Or people who are well qualified and work from home or are mobile and who would be cheaper than going to a salon. My point was, in tough economic times a lot of people are looking to advertise what they do and a good point of reference is facebook. If thats not a good idea, people dont need to do it.

Or many colleges have commercial salons where you can get hair and make up done for a fraction of the price it would cost you in a hairdressers. And even if looking around on facebook doesnt get you anywhere, what would it take, a few posts here and there? Not really a big deal either way.

Ive already made it clear that if I ever get married it will be done as cheap as it can be, not because I want to be the scrimpiest money saving person on planet earth, but because Im skint and theres no way on this planet I could justify spending 3k on a wedding, never mind 6. Other people arent as skint, thats totally fair enough.

I appreciate that some people will have saved and sacrificed many other things to get the wedding they want, that is totally their choice. The bottom line is, the OP and his bride to be are going to have to make some realistic choices.

They are 22 and 24, they could postpone the wedding for a year or two, save more for the mortgage deposit and then move in together and then once the pressure is off, save more for the wedding.

Because even the post I quoted earlier in the thread, the girl went £500 over, it could be that their 6k wedding ends up costing 7k or 8k.

I actually think this thread would probably have been better on the weddings board, not this one. Youd have people posting there specifically about weddings and there might be people who do have more ideas of how to cut costs. Or not as the case may be.

You also sometimes find wedding packages on sites such as groupon, living social, Ive seen more than a few over the years and again obviously that depends on location.