long story short

wallace12

paulineb wrote: »

Can you not get your mum to report the card stolen and ask for a replacement even if she doesnt want to press charges, that would be the sensible thing to do, a new card would mean the sister wouldnt be able to withdraw money

And ask for a new PIN as well, Im assuming that the card is chip and pin and thats how your mums sister is making withdrawals.

Does this sister live with your mum? Can you not speak to her and make it clear if she doesnt return the card you'll be contacting police

I think if you dont do something to get that card stopped the money will end up being spent pretty quickly.

Thanks for your advice phoned bank today to block any further transactions will cancel post office payment card too. Im going for power of attorney today.x

wallace12

tooldle wrote: »

Can I suggest taking a step back. I am in a similar situation. My dad passed 5 weeks ago. My mum has dementia. I am dealing with the estate. To save mum the upset, I have dealt with the bank on my own. Are you certain that your sister is stealing, as opposed to notifying the bank, and getting joint accounts changed into single names?

Thanks for your comment. I know my sister and her interests in life have always been her own personal gain by whatever method.x
I am sorry for your loss too.

wallace12

Guest101 wrote: »

The police do not need the victi to press charges to arrest and investigate. You can report this, they must investigate. The law may have been breached, it is a criminal offence. you need to speak to an inspector at the station, not just the desk jockeys

Thanks for your comment we did report to the police and they would not press charges of theft via third party , and mum is too scared of her to do this. So we were advised by police to block all accounts to prevent further plundering of accounts.x

wallace12

Vicky123 wrote: »

Are you able to speak directly to your mother? Does she have mental capacity? I would agree with the others regarding SS, G.P. AgeUK etc but you need to be sure that your mother isn't happy for your sister to take over.
I think this situation is more common than people realise but often the elderly person will not speak up against it and sometimes will say they have given their permission. Has your mother actually told you she is scared?
Even when you know something to be true it doesn't hold any weight without proof.
I'm not doubting you for a second because I've seen this exact situation, your mother is being isolated from caring relatives by a control freak who may be stealing her money, it's hellish difficult to prove though, like most victims she is very vulnerable and that's how she is able to be exploited.

Thanks for your comments and advice. My niece and I were visiting mum at night when sister is not there (neighbour who is also suspicious is letting us know when she has left to go home) I said to my niece in front of mum "she's scared of her "and mum said would you not be. My niece has also recorded mum on her phone saying if she didnt tell social services that she wanted her to care for her she would batter her. We are taking this to social services.x

wallace12

marisco wrote: »

Firstly I am very sorry for the loss of your dad. It must be an awful time for you all. This is when your mum needs the love and support of family and friends. Not to be isolated from those she is closest to, by a sister intent on controlling her seemingly wanting to gain access to her money. What a ghastly thing to do to a loved one.

In all honesty I think yourself and other members of your family, need to stand up to this sister and show her that she cannot treat your mum like this. Not in a confrontational or aggressive manner, more as a united front who wont be intimidated and stopped from phoning or seeing a vulnerable, grieving woman. The fact that this woman is doing this suggests her intentions are less than honourable.

The advice to contact Age UK is a good one. What have social services said about the situation?

Thanks for your advice, social services visited yesterday and I am awaiting their outcome, however found out from neighbour that sister was present with my brother who is also an unscrupulious character ,only mourning at moment because the bank of Dad is now closed.x

Mojisola

wallace12 wrote: »

Thanks for your advice, social services visited yesterday and I am awaiting their outcome, however found out from neighbour that sister was present with my brother who is also an unscrupulious character ,only mourning at moment because the bank of Dad is now closed.x

Could you arrange for SS to visit your mother at your home or take her to their office so that they can talk to her alone?

tooldle

Has any money actually been taken? Its not really clear from the above if this is a suspicion or a fact.
To the OP, LPA is a good idea, but it does take some considerable time. I am awaiting registration of an LPA for my mum, which has now been going on for some 9-10 weeks. Solicitor originally advised 4 weeks to 4 months, depending on how quickly everything falls into place. Did your Dad leave a will, and who is the executor?

sassyblue

wallace12 wrote: »

Thanks for your advice, social services visited yesterday and I am awaiting their outcome, however found out from neighbour that sister was present with my brother who is also an unscrupulious character ,only mourning at moment because the bank of Dad is now closed.x

Hope you can get it sorted wallace. Families eh? xx

Mojisola

tooldle wrote: »

Has any money actually been taken? Its not really clear from the above if this is a suspicion or a fact.
To the OP, LPA is a good idea, but it does take some considerable time. I am awaiting registration of an LPA for my mum, which has now been going on for some 9-10 weeks. Solicitor originally advised 4 weeks to 4 months, depending on how quickly everything falls into place.

Especially if your sister challenges it.

tooldle

Very true Mojisola.A challenge is possible and will drag things out considerably.
I'm dreading that part. My mum tells people that I am stealing her money. It's not a constant thing, but it does get said from time to time.